Broken Shards
by Encantria
Summary: "The Japanese use to repair broken objects with gold to because they believed the cracks made it more beautiful." Zander whispers, "Every time we break, we try again. And I promise you Stevie, I wont stop trying."
1. As of today

"Kasey, Stevie and Zander are screaming at each other again."

Kasey turned to the girl who was standing nervously behind her, wringing her hands together.

"OH God." Kasey said, "They are? Not again!"

The girl nodded, "It's really bad…" she trailed off, biting her lip.

"Thanks." Kasey muttered, before bolting in the direction of the band room.

Ever since Stevie and Zander had started dating, almost 6 months before, the two had had a lot of loud and dangerous fights. Though the yelling and screaming had been only focused on each other, the implications on the other three members of the band had been severe.

Nelson and Kevin had retreated further into their world of furious pigeons, and rarely emerged during one of the fights. So, the job of attempting to break up the disputes had fallen to Kasey.

Kasey stopped in the hallway outside the band room and listened, trying to get the jist of what she was up against.

"You are such a pig!" came Stevie's voice, "I _am_ a girl, you know, why do you never seem to remember that?"

"Maybe," Yelled Zander, "It's because you don't act like one half the time!"

Stevie omitted a strangled sound, "Why are you dating me then?"

"I thought you had more of the brain than most of the girls in this school. You know what Stevie? Maybe I should date one of them. At least they wouldn't complain about everything I do, not like you!"

"Maybe you should! You certainly have enough brainless twerps following you around to choose from!" Stevie screamed.

"At least I _have_ people who follow me!"

"I don't need mindless zombies to make myself feel good. Guess what Zander, now they're all you have left. Were OVER!"

Kasey gasped. The fights might be bad usually, and afterwards Stevie might cry for a little, but never, in all the time that they had dated, had the pair ever broken up.

Kasey rushed in, hoping to be able to somehow salvage the situation. But Zander was already leaving, ukulele in hand, while Stevie angrily shoved her base in to its case.

"Zander!" Kasey called, "come back." She turned to Stevie, "No, Stevie why?"

"Go away Kasey!" Stevie hissed.

Picking up her bag Stevie started to leave, Kasey caught her arm, pulling her friend towards her.

"Get. Off. Me. Kasey." Stevie's voice was even, but her tone was icy.

"Why?" was all Kasey could say.

"Stay out of my love life Kasey. I don't need one of your lectures this time." Stevie yanked her arm from Kasey's grip and stalked away.

Kasey took a deep breath. Usually, about now, Stevie would have dissolved in to tears in Kasey's arms, and sobbed about how Zander didn't love her anymore. It was the only time Kasey ever saw Stevie cry.

* * *

Last time, Kasey had stayed up half the night texting Stevie, attempting to calm her down. She had finally gotten to bed at 2 am. The next morning she received a tap on the shoulder from Molly.

"You really need to control your band mates Kasey. Making out in the halls is just plain gross."

Kasey furrowed her eyebrows, "But if you did it then it would be ok?"

"If I did, it might actually be cute."

Kasey rolled her eyes, "whatever Molly."

The first place Kasey looked was Zanders locker, the area was strangely vacant. _Stevie's locker, they've got to be at Stevie's locker. _She thought.

Sure enough Zander had Stevie pinned up against her locker, one hand resting next to her head, and the other snaked around Stevie's irritatingly thin waist. The two were furiously making out, seeming not to need air, as the crowd of onlookers watched.

Kasey watched for a moment, trying to figure out how to how this was so fascinating to everyone around her.

"OK!" she finally said, tugging at Zanders shoulder. "As much as I love that the two of you aren't screaming at each other anymore, making out like this in the halls is generally not accepted."

The two slowly inched apart, Zander took his hand off the locker and held onto his girlfriend's waist tightly.

"Where should we make out then Kasey?" Stevie asked boredly.

"Literally anywhere but here." Kasey replied.

The couple looked at one another, matching evil smiles starting to appear.

"MY locker." Zander said, mater of factly.

Kasey rolled her eyes, "no… just save the French kissing for somewhere where you won't be interrupted. By the way, when exactly did you to start talking again? Last time I talked to either of you, you were adamant that you would never speak again."

Stevie flicked a strand of hair of her face and frowned, "You were talking to both of us? At the same time?"

Kasey raised her eyebrows, "Of course. That's the smart thing to do…"

Stevie shook her head. She wanted to be mad that Kasey hadn't chosen _just_ her, but she couldn't find a good enough reason.

"So… how exactly..." Kasey started

"We resolved our issues.' Zander explained with finality.

Kasey wanted to ask more, but she stopped herself. So she just nodded. "You need to tell Kevin and Nelson, they were really upset about the whole thing yesterday."

Stevie bit her lip, and glanced nervously at Zander. His arm tightened around her waist. He nodded.

"Well, I've got to get my books, I'll see you guys later?" Kasey smiled, and squeezed Stevie's hand as she walked past.

* * *

That had been so easy, neither had walked out. None of the fights ever lasted more than a day. Even though they usually they spent band practice glaring at each other, it was annoying, but it never really affected the way they practiced. But this time neither of them came back, they skipped the rest of the day of classes and neither of them were answering their phones.

Kevin and Nelson hadn't said a word when Kasey told them. They had just sat and stared at the orange lunch table.

That afternoon Kasey considered going to Stevie's house to attempt to get her friend to talk. She decided against it. Most likely, Stevie would forcefully shove her away, without saying anything. The whole thing would just drive a wedge further between them.

So, Kasey didn't bother Stevie. _Give her time_. Kasey told herself. _She'll come around. Right?_


	2. Bottled up

Stevie didn't talk to anyone that week. She avoided Zander at all costs, and the only time she talked to Kasey was to tell her to leave her alone.

Even when her brother Leif came for dinner on Wednesday night, Stevie made no attempt at conversation with him. Usually, Stevie would have tried to talk to Leif all through dinner, and usually, she wouldn't get much for her efforts.

Leif, at 27, was very focused on his career. Stevie didn't really know exactly what he did, he had never told her. Dinner was always riddled with phone calls, text messages and Emails that he _just had to answer. _He didn't come home very often. None of her Brothers did anymore.

Finn was in market research. From what Stevie understood, he was very good at has job. He was- as he put it- one of the youngest to ever achieve his level of success. He was 25, and Stevie supposed that it was quite probable that he was so successful, he had always been smart.

James came next, he was 23, and Stevie didn't know how he had even gotten in to collage. He as a bit… all over the place. He was _still _at collage. No one knew if he would ever make it out…

Stevie had been closest to Ben- before he'd ditched her for collage. There was a four and a half year age gap between them, but that had never stopped them from getting on so well. For the first year he'd been away, Ben had sent regular emails to Stevie, they had talked often on the phone, and although Stevie had hated that he'd gone away, the constant updates had made it a little easier.

And maybe, them being away made it easier for Stevie to hide. She spent more time in her room that week, than she thought she had ever spent there in her entire life.

Kasey had been persistent in her attempts to talk to Stevie, but, aside from the 3 classes they shared, Kasey hadn't really seen Stevie all week. So she had spent the week making every effort to calm the looming wall of gossip, but, Stevie and Zanders breakup seemed to be of interest to everyone, and nothing she could do would stop the interest.

By Friday, Stevie was well aware of the stories surrounding her break up, while normally she ignored the whispers, this week they seemed particularly harsh. She couldn't count the number of times she had almost taken out one of the girls watching her and whispering.

By Friday Afternoon, Mrs. Baskara had become more than worried about her daughter, but getting anything out of her was impossible as she just _wouldn't_ talk. What had worried her the most was that Stevie was at home ALL the time and she rarely left her room. So, after a long discussion with her husband, about missing the conference they were supposed to attend or staying with Stevie, she made the only choice that she felt they had, call in Stevie's brothers.

On Saturday, Kasey decided that she'd had enough of her best friend sulking, and marched over to Stevie's house in a determined mood.

She was worried she had the wrong house when a tall, burly guy opened the door.

"Can I help you?" he asked kindly.

"Um… Yep, I'm Kasey, Stevie's friend? Is she home?" Kasey peered up at the older guy, noticing that he looked just like Stevie.

Suddenly the first guy was pushed out of the way by a second. "Your Stevie's friend? Come in!" the boy pulled Kasey in, sitting her down on one of the living room couches. "I'm Ben." He said, with a bright grin, "Stevie's brother."

On the couches opposite her, Kasey was faced by 4 male versions of her best friend, all looking at her eagerly.

"Stevie's not here right now." The first boy explained.

Kasey blinked, "wait…" she said, confused. "Stevie has _four_ brothers?"

The first boy didn't skip a beat "I'm Finn, and this is Leif, James and Ben."

They didn't even seem surprised that she had no idea who they were.

"We are looking for information." Ben said, leaning forward slightly.

"On Stevie." Leif clarified calmly.

"What sort of information?" Kasey clutched her skirt nervously.

"Our mother has employed us this weekend, to find out what's wrong with Stevie." Ben stated.

"You don't know?" Kasey said in disbelief.

The four looked quizzically at her.

Kasey let a breath out, and got comfortable before starting. "Do you know who Zander is?" she asked.

Four confused looks met her, before Ben suddenly brightened. "He's in the band with her, right?"

Kasey bit her lip, they knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. "Yes, but they've been dating for the past 6 months. Or at least they were, until they broke up on Monday."

"Stevie had a boyfriend?" Leif exclaimed in horror, "Is she even old enough to have a boyfriend?"

"Well she's got to be like… what? Fifteen now?" James guessed.

"She's seventeen." Kasey responded, annoyance lacing her tone.

The boys all looked shocked.

Kasey took a deep breath to calm herself down. No wonder Stevie didn't talk about her home life, or ever invite Kasey over.

"Look." Kasey said, "Stevie, loves Zander. And when I say loves, I really mean it. If you think of every great love story in history, Stevie and Zander love each other more than all of them put together. So if she seems a little off, I think she has reason to."

The four boys in front of her gaped at her, moths hanging wide open.

"When she gets home, from where ever she is, you better have a box of tissues and a lot of open arms. Because she hasn't cried all week, and if she doesn't crack soon, I think she'll explode. Give me your phone." Kasey held her hand out to Leif.

He placed the phone in her hand, bewildered.

She typed something in before handing it back. "Text me when she cries." She said shortly, getting up from the couch.

"Wait!" James exclaimed, grabbing her arm.

Kasey rolled her eyes, "What?" she questions.

"You're just going to leave us here? With our sister who could start crying the minute she walks in the door?"

Kasey nods, "I've done all I can. Now it's up to you." She shrugged. "Good luck."

Kasey gave a curt nod and left, she sat down solemnly on the steps leading down the apartment block. She could only hope that now Stevie's brothers would grow brains and help their little sister. Stevie wasn't going to cry around Kasey, that was a given. Now, all Kasey had to do was talk to Zander.

The four stood gob smacked for minutes after Kasey left, uncertain of what to do.

"So." Ben finally breathed. "We missed a lot of her life."

They all nodded.

"Does anyone know the name of the band she's in?" Finn asked quietly.

They all shook their heads.

"Ok," Finn started, "What do we know?"

"She's seventeen." James offered.

"Apart from that!" Finn exclaimed.

"I don't even remember her seventeenth birthday." Leif muttered.

"When was the last time any of us had a proper conversation with her?" James questioned.

"I talk to her sometimes over email." Ben offered.

"What does she say?" Finn asked eagerly.

"Not much anymore." Ben admitted.

"What's her favorite color?" Leif didn't expect an answer.

"How long do we have until she gets back?" James asked.

"So, its 5 now she said she wouldn't be back till late… we probably have at least an hour." Leif concluded.

"I think we should look in her bedroom. See what clues we get." James suggested.

"As long as we don't get caught." Ben reminded him.

"Right." James agreed. He took off straight away marching determinably in the direction of Stevie's room.

They all stood outside the white door, nervous. The canvas on the door red _'Stevie's Room'_ in black paint over a painting of a stormy sea. None of the boys could remember the last time they had seen the inside of their sister's room.

Ben was the first to put his hand on the door knob, turning it slowly. The door opened silently, swinging open to reveal a blue room.

They all peered around the door frame, opposite them was a small window over a neat white desk. The blind was up, allowing the light to dance through the crystal hanging from the top, breaking in to hundreds of tiny rainbows around the room.

Stevie's school books were stacked neatly on the desk next to her laptop. Her bed was neatly made, the coverlet was designed to look like a stormy sea and fairy lights hung over the head board.

It was a lot neater than they expected, and a lot more girly.

Ben was the first to make a move, he bounded over to the large cork board on the wall next to Stevie's desk. The board was covered in pictures, certificates and hanging trinkets. Ben uncovered one certificate, and triumphantly announced, "Her bands name is Gravity 5!"

"Hey look!" James exclaimed after joining his brother, he pointed to a picture, "She's wearing a dress!"

"Actually," Ben corrected him, "She's wearing a dress in a lot of these pictures."

"She's smiling in a lot of these pictures." Finn pointed out.

Leif picked up a neatly folded letter from the bed side table. The letter was worn, and had clear tear stains on it and the hand writing was neat.

"Listen to this guys," Leif said quietly.

_'__Stevie,_

_I know your mad at me, but no matter what I will still write love notes to you._

_This isn't about the fight, I can't write down my apology in a letter, I wouldn't know what to put._

_So, I'm going to tell you all the reasons I love you. So that way, you'll always know._

_I love you because you make me think, you challenge me. You're not like any girl I've ever met, you have no interest in following me creepily or flirting with me incessantly._

_I love you because you still have more of an interest in music than me. And I admire that._

_I love that I don't need to look in a mirror anymore, because you interest me more than a mirror ever could. _

_I love that you're so protective of your friends, and I love that you always look after us_

_I love the way you laugh, and the way you smile._

_I love that you don't care what people think._

_But most of all, I love spending time with you, I love it when you tease me and when you take off your high heels as soon as we walk out the door and carry them around all night. I love every second of our dates. _

_Stevie, I don't ever think it will be possible for me to ever stop loving you._

_Love, _

_Zander.'_

"And the letters dated July 21st. almost two and a half months ago." Leif finished.

"Well, that clears that up." James remarked.

They all nodded awkwardly. Leif folded the letter up silently and placed in back on top of the books he'd found it on. They stood awkwardly, scanning the room for any more possible clues.

James had ruffled through some of Stevie's schoolbooks, "She only gets A's" He announced. "And she is REALLY smart."

"Does that really surprise you?" Finn asked, "She was always smarter than all of us."

"So what now?" Leif asked quietly.

"At least we can be sure he did love her." Ben stated.

"He _does _love me." And voice said from the door.

They all spun around to face Stevie, who was leaning against the door frame.

"Just because we had a fight doesn't mean we don't still love each other. What are you doing in my room anyway?" she didn't even look mad.

"Don't hurt us!" James shrieked, shielding his face with this arms.

Stevie looked only slightly bemused, she shrugged, "I'm not going to hurt you, James."

James looked confused, "you're not?"

Stevie shook her head, "Just go."

"Stevie…" Ben trailed off, awkwardly.

"No." she said. "Look, I don't know how you found out, and frankly, I don't actually care. But I do want you to leave me alone."

"You didn't even tell us you had a boyfriend." Leif said, sounding slightly hurt.

There were so many things Stevie wanted to say to that. That she hadn't told anyone, or that not even the rest of the band knew until a few months ago. "You weren't here to tell." She shrugged.

"So will you tell us now?" Ben asked.

"Tell you what? You already know we broke up." she twisted a brown curl round her finger and stared at her boots.

"About him, about everything." Ben wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch her, would putting his hand on her shoulder, get him in trouble? So he just took a small step forward.

"Believe it or not, I actually don't want to talk about it." Stevie responded dryly.

"You can't hold it in forever." James admonished.

She snorted, "I'm not holding anything in."

James and Ben looked at each other with matching looks, "Denial." They both cried.

"I am NOT in Denial!" Stevie shrieked as Ben picked her up.

"Yes, you are." James touched her nose lightly.

She glared at him. "Put me down Ben. I'm fine." Stevie drummed her fists on her older brothers back.

Ben plopped her down on the couch in the living room and sat down next to her, closely followed by the other three.

Stevie covered her eyes with her hands. "Can't you guys just leave it alone?" she questioned.

"Nope." Ben said, putting his arm around her. "It's ok to cry, you don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt all the time."

Stevie had been forcing herself all week not to cry, telling herself that it was _no big deal. _

"You were always stubborn as a kid." Leif put in, "when you were five and you broke your arm, you didn't cry then either."

Stevie took a deep breath, she could feel the tears prick the back of her eyes menacingly.

"Bottling up all your emotions won't help things." Finn rubbed her back gently.

By this point, Stevie would usually have throttled all of them. But today, she didn't have any energy left to fight. She didn't have the energy to hold back the tears, or to forget the one person who loved her totally unconditionally.

So she cried.

None of her brothers had expected such a response, and for a moment they all froze, before kicking in to over drive.

The Stevie they remembered didn't cry, they had never witnessed such a total surrender on her part before.

Leif pulled out his phone and found Kasey's number.

The sounds of her sobs making his heart ache, he wrote,

_'__She's crying.'_

**A/N: Thank you for reading everyone :). I hope you enjoyed this chapter, or if you didn't, that's ok, just please tell me why.**

**Thank you ****to those who reviewed: **

**LordofthePandas****\- thank-you for being a devote follower! I appreciate that! thank you for your advice, I am attempting to fix the first chapter right now :) **

**HTRobsessed- I fully intend on updating this story as regularly as possible, don't worry. :)**

**Please review, I'd love to hear what you think!**


	3. If it wasn't for you

Stevie wasn't _uncomfortable_ when she woke up, she just wasn't comfortable. Ben had his arms wrapped around her, and her legs were draped over Finn.

She had no recollection of going to sleep, only of crying- although it was never clear to her how long she had actually cried for. But it was always clear to the four boys- who had all woken up at various times to check on her during the night, that she had cried for almost two hours before finally drifting off to sleep.

She sat up slowly, stretching as she surveyed the scene in front of her, Leif and James were both fast asleep on the two arm chairs, while James and Ben had fallen asleep with her on the couch.

Ben was already awake when Stevie tried to move is arms off her, so he let go of her gently, sensing how awkward she felt.

"Sorry." She bit her lip, when she realized he was awake. "I didn't mean to wake you."

He smiled and shook his head. "I was already awake."

She nodded, trying to look anywhere but at him. Finally she looked down at what she was wearing, she grimaced, her work uniform was still splatted with the smoothie that one of the other workers had dropped yesterday, and her hair was still in its messy bun. She pulled the hair tie our, shaking her hair so it fell in its natural curls around her face.

"Oh god." She muttered, "I've _got _to have a shower."

She gave Ben an awkward smile before hurrying off. Ben watched her go, wondering if she would actually come back.

She couldn't stay in her room forever, right? Even really skinny seventeen year old girls needed to eat, and he was fairly certain that she didn't have any food in her room.

He was right. She did re-appear, about half an hour later, neatly clothed with wet hair and a lot of eyeliner on.

She gave him a smile, before busying herself with the toaster.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, breaking the awkward silence from his perch on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island.

"Pretty good" she nodded, "coffee?" she asked, holding the coffee pot out to him.

_She drinks coffee? _He thought in amazement.

Ben nodded, and accepted the cup she gave him. Her nails were painted, he noticed. And they were long. Sure, they were black, but still, she had hated nail polish. He could clearly remember the birthday someone had given her a whole box of the stuff, she had politely thanked them at the time, but after, while he helped her carry all the presents up to her room she had launched into a long explanation as to why nail polish was stupid, and pushed the box as far under her bed as possible.

"Do you have anything to do today?" he asked, adding milk to his coffee, and noticing that she didn't.

She shook her head, "usually we'd have band practice, but today…" she trailed off, staring in to her coffee.

"No homework?" he asked tentatively.

She shook her head, "I did it all on Friday." The afternoon that she'd usually spend at band practice and then with Zander.

He grabbed her hand and gently squeezed it. She smiled at him, the first genuine smile she'd given him in the past two days.

"Are you going to be ok?" he questioned.

For a moment she didn't answer, and he was worried he'd upset her.

But she took a sip of her coffee, and looked at him, "You know, I think I will. Things won't ever be the same again, but I'll be ok."

"But things are meant to change."

She nodded, "that doesn't mean I want them to though."

"Of course not." He said quietly.

"I just…" she trailed off.

"What?" he asked gently.

"I don't know if I'm ready to lose my best friend."

He was worried she might cry again.

She didn't. She just looked around for a moment, then said, "Kasey was right when she said band mates shouldn't date. Now, I've not just lost by boyfriend and my best friend, but my band too." Her voice was slightly shaky.

"You don't know that" he said

"Maybe, we could just go back to being best friends." She muses, almost to herself. But Stevie knows that this isn't possible. They've gone too far, to ever go back there. "Oh, who am I kidding? We'll probably never talk again. He'll never forget what I said"

Ben isn't sure if she knows she's been talking out loud, but he responds anyway. "Would you forgive him?"

She looks up at him, confused. "What?"

"If he asked you to forgive him, for what he said, would you?"

She takes a deep slow breath, taking it all in to consideration. "How could I not?" she murmurs.

"So he'll probably forgive you to." Ben concludes.

"I don't think it's that simple." Stevie gives a warn smile.

"Make it that simple."

She doesn't seem to hear that comment. "You know, when he asked me out, he told me that, we were practically already a couple so it wasn't like much would change." Stevie picks up her coffee cup and without taking a sip, puts it down again. "We had never fought before that. I didn't think it was possible _to _fight with him."

She rests her head in her hands. "And now look at what we've done. We've hurt so many people."

"If you had the chance to go back and _just _be best friends, would you?"

She shakes her head, "I wouldn't trade this for anything. None of it, it's all too special."

And then a smile appears on her face, it's like nothing Ben's ever seen. "I couldn't ever not fall in love with him."

"How did you know?"

"How did I know what?" she queried.

"That you loved him."

"OH." she says. She's still smiling. "Kasey told me."

Ben's not quite sure how that works.

"I mean, I'd had the thought, that it was possible. But I thought it was too early, we'd only been dating for a little over a month- and no one else knew. So when she said that she thought I liked Zander, after she caught me staring to him, I wasn't surprised. And then she said, 'no, you don't just like him, do you Stevie? You're in love with him.' And I told her that was absolutely ridiculous and walked off. But then it clicked." She giggled. "Have you ever been in love Ben?"

Ben shook his head "one day, I'm just waiting for the right girl."

"It's like free falling, but you feel safe." Stevie propped her chin on her hands with a dreamy expression.

Ben had to smile, she looked happier than he had seen her in years.

Leif, who had woken up somewhere part way through the conversation, started to get up. Stevie's eyes focused again, self-consciously she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Morning." He said

Stevie sipped her coffee.

"Watcha drinking?" Leif asked, making a forlorn effort to be cool.

Stevie raised an eyebrow at him, "Coffee."

_Black coffee?_ Leif thought, _when will it end? _

Leif was so tempted to ask Stevie what other ridiculously grown up things she had started doing, that he bit his tongue. He just couldn't see her as a seventeen year old, to him, she was still ten. Innocent, with absolutely _no _eyeliner.

"So, I was thinking," Ben started, "We could have a games day. Board games, ya' know? Like we used to."

Leif nodded, "good idea. Steves? Are you up for that?"

She nodded, attempting to make the last few sips of coffee last as long as possible so she didn't have to talk.

"But those idiots are still asleep." Ben flung his hand in the direction of the sleeping of James and Finn, who were both snoring.

"It's not like that's a problem." Stevie swallowed the last of her coffee and made her way over to James. She tucked her hair behind her ear and lend close to her snoring brother. "I think," she said, an evil smile playing on her lips, "that I have the perfect prank to wake James up."

She jumped back just in time to watch James shoot up, "No Stevie!" he shrieked, "don't do it!"

Stevie crossed her arms and smirked, she turned to Ben and Leif, giving them a thumbs up before walking over to Finn.

She knelt down beside him and gently tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, Finny, come play with me? Please?" she said in a childish voice.

"Ohhh Stevie, five more minutes, I swear, I'll play with you in five more minutes."

She giggled, "Please Finny, Pretty please?"

Finn opened his eyes, adjusting to the girl in front of him, he blinked, this Stevie wasn't seven, she was much older.

"But seriously Finn," the girl got up, "we're all playing board games, come."

Leif couldn't believe it. In a matter of moments she had both of them up, he knew it would have taken him at least half an hour.

"I'm going to get my phone" she disappeared down the hall, leaving the four boys to mull over how much control she had over them.

"I don't believe it." Ben shook his head. "She is too smart for her own good."

They all nodded dumbly in agreement.

"At least she seems ok this morning." Finn pointed out.

Ben nodded, "more like her usual self." But really, none of them had any idea what Stevie's usual self was.

Stevie re appeared moments later, a purple iPhone in her hand. She didn't acknowledge them, instead giving a short laugh to whatever was on the screen. Without looking up from her phone, she found her cup and poured some more coffee.

Placing the cup down on the bench she started to type, her fingers moving faster than her four brothers felt was humanly possible.

Her phone dinged almost as soon as she'd stopped texting, she rolled her eyes.

"Silly Kasey" she muttered, typing something in response before looking up at her brothers. "Well?" she said, irritation obvious. "Are we going to play games or not?"

"Oh right." They all scrambled up, rushing to find the games.

In total, Stevie won 5 out of the 7 games they played that day. Every time she won they would pick a new game in hopes of beating her. But it seemed Stevie was just too good.

Leif had been in constant communication with Kasey all day, giving her regular updates on how things were going. If Stevie had bothered to look at the phone even once when it vibrated and lit up, she would have seen:

_Kasey Simon (Stevie's Friend)_

Written across the screen. But she never did.

After Stevie had won _The Game of Life _(again), Leif finally decided that it was time to bring up the night before, it was unavoidable at this point, as Kasey had sent Zander to their house.

"Stevie, we need to talk about last night." Leif said, after packing up the last of the cards.

Stevie looked at him, clearly trying not to show any emotion. "No, we don't."

"We do." Leif persisted.

"No, Leif. We don't." she said through gritted teeth.

"She's right Leif." James said, hoping this could earn him some sort points with Stevie. "We found out what's wrong, that's all Mom asked us to do."

Stevie's voice was low as she spoke: "Mom _sent _you?" she took a breath, letting it out in the angriest way she could think of. "I don't believe it. I actually thought you came here because you cared."

She stood up, Ben was glaring at James.

"So, after all this time, you only came back because mom told you to?"

"Stevie," Ben tried to grab her hand, but she yanked it away. "We do care, that's why we came."

"No." Stevie said. "You don't. If you cared you would have answered my emails, or talked to me, or come back for my birthday. But you didn't."

None of them could meet her eyes.

"I can't believe I actually thought you cared." Her voice was choked.

There was a knock at the door.

Stevie looked towards it, and then back to her brothers, "Who is that?" she hissed.

They all looked at each other, unsure of how to respond.

Stevie turned to Ben, she shook her head. "What happened to the conversation we had this morning? I _told _you I would be fine."

Ben opened his mouth, Stevie cut him off. "Don't even. I should have expected this."

She kicked the chair back and stormed away. "Stay out of my life."

"Stevie come back!" Leif called. Stevie kept walking. "STEPHANIE RAINA BASKARA! COME BACK HERE AND SIT DOWN!" Leif bellowed

Ben slapped his forehead with his palm, knowing how angry this would make her.

Stevie turned. But instead of the fit of rage Ben had expected, she looked like she would cry at any moment.

Ben bolted over to her, gently steering her back to her chair. She didn't resist.

Finn had run to the door, opening it, he addressed the person on the other side quietly, "She's not in a good mood, but you can still try if you want to."

Stevie had her hands clasped over her mouth facing away. She knew it was Zander, she could hear the way he stepped tentatively in to the room.

"Stevie…" He was off to a bad start, Zander knew. "I know, you don't want to talk to me, I know you're mad, But I just want to say sorry for what I said…" he trailed off.

Zander had expected Stevie to pin him to the ground and yell at him, or hit him. Anything would be better than the silence he was currently getting.

He took a tentative step forward "I never meant what I said about-"

"I know." She whispered, her voice barely audible.

"It's what I like about you, you know. It makes you special, you're not like the others."

She nodded. And for a moment, all five boys in the room thought she wouldn't respond.

But, slowly, she wiped her eyes and breathed out. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said what I did." She inspected the black lines her smudged eyeliner had left on her fingertips. "Those girls- they're not your fault. I know I shouldn't care about them, but sometimes-" She stopped. "I'm so, so, sorry Zander."

Zander took a step towards her.

"Don't." she said.

"What?" Zander was confused.

"We can't go on like this Zander! Every fight gets worse. Every time it happens we hurt everyone we care about. I can't keep doing this."

"But we can't just stop now!" Zander exclaimed, horrified.

"But we can't keep going." Stevie shook her head. She took a shaky breath. "Maybe we were never meant to be."

"Yes we were! Stevie, please, look at me!" he begged.

"We both know what will happen if I do that." She said, her voice hard.

"I'd rather that than this." He exclaimed.

Stevie gave a chocked laugh. "If course you would."

"Please Stevie," he whispered, "couldn't we try and talk this out?"

She shook her head, "what do you want me to say Zander? That I love you? That I can't live without you? That we'll keep trying till the day we die?"

"Yes." He replied. "Because we both know that that's all true."

She laughed, "You're so cocky!" on instinct she turned to him, their eyes met, realizing her mistake she tried to look away.

Zander bounded forward closing the meter gap between them, and grabbed her cheeks with both hands forcing her to look at him. "Do you really want us to be over?"

"It was a lot easier to say yes when I wasn't looking at you."

"Tell me the truth Stevie. Do you really want to give up everything we have?"

"No." she whispered, the tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Me neither." Zander pushed forward, pulling her into a kiss.

For a moment, some part of Stevie's brain tried to resist, but that was quickly silenced by her heart. She put a hand round his neck, letting the haze of butterflies and love take over.

When he pulled away, she was left, out of breath, and totally ready to do whatever he told her.

"Come with me?" he asked, "let's talk properly."

Stevie nodded, still feeling out of breath. He took her hand, pulling her towards the door.

All hopes Leif had that maybe she had forgotten, were gone when she turned around. "This doesn't fix anything." She said coldly. "Don't think I'll forget."

**Hey Guys :) **

**I hope you liked chapter 3! Even though Stevie and Zander are talking again doesn't mean this stories over. They still have a lot of issues to sort out.**

**Thank you to my wonderful reviewers:**

**ZevieFTW, ****Zevielover17****, ****HTRobsessed**

**I love hearing from you guys! I'd love to hear from anyone else, even if you just tell me if you liked or hated it :) **

**Until next time!**

**Encantria 3**


	4. I'll be here

"Are you fricken kidding me, Leif?" Ben yells, as soon as the door closes behind Stevie.

"Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say." Leif admits.

"_Maybe? MAYBE? _That defiantly wasn't a good thing to say. We all know she hates it when people call her Stephanie. So why would you even… She's never going to talk to any of us again." Ben held his head in his hands.

"Well tell me your brilliant plan as to how we should have made her stay." Leif demanded

"Anything but that." Leif shot back. "Or you could have just not asked her to talk about last night."

"Well she has to talk about it some time, and we can't just pretend it never happened."

"We don't have to pretend it never happened, we just can't be nosey." Ben looks frustrated.

"Aren't you curious?" James asks.

"Of course." Ben sighs. "Sometimes I forget you didn't all spend as much time with her as I did. I had hoped that I'd set it up so she would talk to me. She won't just tell us everything"

"How?" Finn Questions.

"I'm staying this week. I won't go back to collage till I fix things with Stevie."

"How much do you have to fix?" James asks, but really, he already knows how much of a wedge there is between all five siblings.

"Everything." Ben states dryly. "The past three years… let's face it, none of us has been around."

They all know it's true. Stevie's tried so hard to talk to them when they've been at home, she's tried so hard to keep up the contact. But none of them have bothered to really keep up with their sister. They may not have needed the contact with each other, but she did.

"I admit," Finn sighed, "It's sad how little we know about her. The girl who hugged me on Friday wasn't anyone I knew."

"The makeup, tight clothes, and addiction to coffee- she didn't even try to beat us up. What happened there?" James commented.

"Not to mention the band." Finn pointed out, "I've seen the Facebook pictures. They are ALWAYS together."

"Kasey mentioned that they have a gig next week, I gather that's why she was pushing for Stevie and Zander to makeup." Leif put in.

It's a given that they'll go. The realization that Stevie's going to stop trying soon is hitting hard, they've got to start making an effort to.

Zander had opened the door of his truck for her, just like always. Stevie had felt her stomach drop about a mile, she couldn't believe she'd lived an entire week without him.

When he got in, he hadn't lost a second, pulling her towards him and into a kiss.

Like every other time, she could see stars. They were making up for lost time, she could feel the _romantic _tension through her daze, Kasey would say that you could cut it with a knife, it was so thick.

It wasn't long though, before the common sense started to ooze back into Stevie's brain. She gently pushed Zander away, he looked disappointed.

"Stevie…" he wined, "first time in a week."

She shook her head, "Zander, we can't just jump back in where we left off, we have to talk about this."

"Fine." He sulked. "Where should we go?"

"Normal spot." She replied.

Their 'normal spot' was the parking lot outside an abandoned warehouse. It was the only place they could go and not get caught.

They were silent for the whole drive, but when one wasn't looking the other would steal a glance towards them.

Stevie loved Zanders truck. She loved how old it was, she loved that the front seat was just one long bench, so the countless make out sessions they had didn't have to be moved to the back, she loved the way it smelled, and the memories it held for her. But today, she was almost too nervous to think about these things.

Neither could bring themselves to look at the other once they'd stopped.

Finally, after feeling like the rain drops on the windows shouldn't be reflecting her emotions, Stevie plucked up the courage to talk. "Zander, whatever happens now, I want you to know that I love you."

He nodded, "Steves…" And suddenly he had her pinned against the window, and Stevie realizes that she can't move her arms.

Stevie has to admit, that while having him kiss her neck is sending shivers down her spine, she's also very confused.

"Zander, what _are _you doing?"

"Romance, babe." He says between kisses.

Stevie laughs, he looks at her, with mock hurt, "you're laughing at me?"

"I didn't think you'd remember I said that."

"Of course I remember! That was like half the argument."

"Right." She smiles.

He leans up to kiss her lips, momentarily forgetting to hold her hands, she pushes him backwards, ending up on top of him. Stevie props herself up on her elbows, Zander looks disappointed now that the make out session is over.

"Now I'm in control." She announces. "And Zander Babe? No more making out _until _we finish talking."

He nods, though he can't concentrate, having her on top of him is almost too much for his teenage hormones to handle.

"We have to work out why we keep fighting."

"Yer…" he's unconvinced they need to know why.

Stevie knows they can't have a repeat of last time. They hadn't actually talked after the last fight, he had climbed through her bedroom window at 12'oclock at night, and they had spent the entire rest of the night making out. It had become so intense that somehow, Stevie didn't notice Zander take her shirt off. It hadn't been till he had attempted to take off her bra that she had stopped him.

_"__Are you ok?" _ He had asked.

She had calmly told him that she wasn't ready for that yet, expecting pleading or him completely ignoring her words. But he had kissed her forehead helped her put her top back on, and hugged her tightly.

She hadn't expected that.

They couldn't _not _talk this time.

"Zander, this is it." Stevie played with the color of his shirt.

"What?" Zander Questions, confused.

"If we don't figure out what is causing these fights, then were over. For good. I can't keep doing this Zander, and neither can you."

Her words aren't cold, but Zander is hit with the reality of the situation. Gently, he pulls then both into a sitting position, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist. Not touching her isn't an option for him right now.

"Stevie, do you promise not to get mad?"

She nods.

"You're always bottling up your feelings. I don't want you to hide them from me. I want to know everything, when you're sad, or upset, or just in a bad mood. You don't have to pretend." Zander brushed her hair off her face.

"I know." She whispers. "I guess I just got so used to doing it I forget that you'll be okay with everything."

"Why did you start?" he pulls her closer, it's not cold in the truck, but the rain splattering on the windows is making Zander feel as if it could be.

She shrugs, "There wasn't anyone to share them with. Kevin and Nelson aren't exactly good listeners."

Zander wants to ask if she could talk to her brothers, but after the yelling he heard earlier, he's not sure it's a good idea.

"Well don't hide from me."

They don't move for a moment, it's a comfortable silence, and Stevie's sure there's never been anyone who is totally comfortable with just sitting with her before. It's nice, she realizes, after all the time of doing this, that he doesn't care if they talk or not. And that he has no problem with her silences.

"And Stevie?" she looks up at him, _she looks so innocent _he thinks. "Don't worry about the fan girls. I couldn't care less about them. I know you're worried, and I know you'd never tell me you're jealous, but they have nothing on you." It all comes out in a jumble, but Stevie just snuggles further in to him.

"Promise?" is all the reply he gets

"I promise." he mummers, kissing the top of her head.

There's so much left unsaid. But then again, there's so much that goes without saying. But somehow, Stevie knows that they'll be ok, and, when she's ready to talk about all the other reasons behind their fights, he'll be there to listen

**This really isn't my favourite chapter, for some reason I found this nearly impossible to write. But I'm posting it anyway because I have fantastic ideas about the next chapter and I don't want to be stuck on this one.**

**I don't think I'll have another chapter up tomorrow because I'm working and then I have a family thing. But you never know, I like the next chapter soooo...**

**My wonderful reviewers:**

**ZevieFTW: next chapter will reveal everything about why Stevie is so angry at her brothers, trust me, she has a reason to be harsh :)**

**HTRobsessed: I'm so glad someone else cries over fan fiction, I was starting to worry I was the only one. Unfortunately, I am not on holidays, I live in the far off land of Australia, so while school kids are on Easter holidays, weirdos like me who have no idea what to do with there lives are not (I finished school last year and am taking a gap year). Although I have way to much time on my hands, so I guess you could count that as holidays, so I will update this as soon as I manage to get the chapters out.**

**Zevielover17****: of course I noticed you! If you review, I promise I will notice you. And REALLY appreciate you :)**

**Till Next time!**

**Encantria 3**


	5. Built up

Kasey Simon had an obsessive need to know what was going on in her friend's lives. When she was a Perf, everyone told her everything, she knew everything about everyone in the school. So, naturally, Gravity 5 gave her anxiety about how much she DIDN'T know.

Zander and Stevie had appeared on Monday attached at the hip- as always, and Kasey had thought that all issues her friends had, had been resolved. But by lunch time, Kasey was certain they weren't. They had (if possible) less personal space than before, but it wasn't the comfortable, almost inadvertent level that they had usually. It was almost as if Stevie had attached herself to Zander- somewhat like the parasites they were learning about in biology. There was none of their usual banter, and Stevie had barley uttered two words all day. In class Stevie completely ignored Kasey, it was as if she had totally zoned out.

Stevie didn't get any lunch

"You've got to eat." Zander whispered to her.

"I'm not hungry." She said rather matter of factly.

"Did you eat breakfast?" Zander asks.

She nods.

There's never been silence like this at their lunch table before. Kevin and Nelson aren't playing furious pigeons, instead, they're eating in complete silence.

Still, no one says anything. No one comments on Stevie's outfit-witch, Kasey thinks, doesn't match _at all._ And no one says anything about all the missed notes during band practice, or how Stevie seems to want to stay as far away from her base as possible.

* * *

On Tuesday morning Ben makes sure he's sitting right in front of the coffee pot. He figures that way Stevie will have to talk to him.

She had ignored him the day before, not even looking in his direction. But this morning, she _would_ say hello to him.

"Move." Stevie said sharply.

She was gone a moment latter, coffee in hand. Ben assumed that she was getting picked up.

_Oh well_, he thought_, I'll try again tomorrow_.

Zander hadn't questioned why Stevie had wanted to be picked up earlier. And he didn't comment on the scowl she had on her face all the way to school. But when she told him she didn't want to go to class, he got worried.

"You can't just NOT go to class." He reasoned with her.

"Yes I can." She retorted, "It's called ditching."

"Stevie this is ridiculous. You don't ditch."

"I do today." She glared at him.

"No you don't."

"I'm not asking for your permission Zander."

"If it was ME telling YOU this, you would roll your eyes and drag me in by the ear."

"But you won't do that." She persisted.

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure."

Zander got out of the car and opened her door, "Ok, so I won't drag you in by the ear, but I will-" he picked her up bridal style, receiving a surprised shriek from Stevie. "- do this."

He carried her all the way to the band room, plopping her down on the couch. She crossed her arms indignantly.

Zander sat down next to her, establishing a tight grip around her waist so she couldn't run.

"It isn't like you to want to ditch." He said gently, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

She didn't reply.

He sighed.

"Come on Steves, we had this talk on Sunday, you've gotta quit hiding from me."

"I'm not hiding from you." She muttered.

"Then who are you hiding from?"

"Me."

He managed a nervous "oh."

The thought that whatever was going on was too much for her to handle had never crossed his mind.

There was silence, it was unusually awkward.

"Maybe I can help." He suggested.

She shook her head. "I highly doubt you can get my brothers to leave me alone."

Zander had to agree, Stevie's brothers were big, and they were all built like football players.

"Why won't they leave you alone?"

"It's only Ben really. He won't go back to college."

Zander was thoroughly confused.

"Why?"

"I don't know..."

"You haven't asked him?"

"I'm not speaking to him."

Zander had no idea what to do at that point. There's a possibility that she will punch him or ignore him if he asks why. Then again, Stevie has been exceptionally non-violent recently and he's the only one she's really speaking to, so...

"Why?" He asks, voice hushed nervously.

"He's a jerk."

"Right. Anything else?"

"I don't want to talk to him."

"Why aren't you mad at your other brothers?"

"I am. But they all went back to their lives."

Zanders not really sure which one Ben is, but he can tell there's a lot more to Ben not going back to college than just annoying Stevie.

"You'll have to talk to him at some point."

"No I don't. He'll have to give up eventually."

"Stevie, that's a terrible plan.

"Terrible or not, I _am_ sticking to it."

Zander figured that, for now at least, he had gotten everything out of her that her could. "You know, you haven't kissed me this morning."

That got her to smile, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his, he pulled her closer, toppling them both backwards.

"EWWWWW! Get a room you two!"

Stevie looked up, an irritated glare fixed on her face. Kasey, Nelson and Kevin were all standing at the door, each giving her a grossed out look.

Stevie didn't skip a beat, she got up, grabbed her bag and disappeared down the hall way.

Zander ran a hand through his hair, "Really Kasey? Really?"

"What's wrong with Stevie?" Nelsons innocent question interrupted the glaring war that raged between his two band mates.

"I'd love to know." Zander exclaimed in frustration. "She was so close to telling me! Thanks a lot Kasey."

"You were eating her face. I wouldn't call that close to her saying _anything._" Kasey retorted.

"Oh no!" the realization of what had brought to this point hit Zander. "We have to find her. And you're all going to help me. Whoever finds her holds on to her and doesn't let her run away, ok? If you find her let me know." He dashed off.

"Well!" Kevin exclaimed, "What was that all about?"

"Beats me." Kasey replied, throwing her hands in the air in defeat. "We'd better look for Stevie."

Zander found Stevie. She was calmly rearranging her locker. Zander didn't question it, he just gave her a relived kiss on the forehead. _She hadn't ditched._

At lunch he go both his and Stevie's lunch trays. She didn't eat much, only swirling it around on her plate.

Neither Kevin nor Nelson could remember a time when Stevie had done that before, she had always eaten more than the two combined. But they couldn't work out how to talk her, she was Stevie, for goodness sake, they both loved her but… she terrified them.

And so it went, the nervous glances over Stevie's head between the four friends, the hushed talks that happened whenever she was out of hearing range.

By Friday, Stevie was starting to feel suffocated. The pitying looks everyone was giving her were only making her angry. She didn't need their pity. She just needed to be left alone. She wanted things to be the same as they always were, she wanted her friends to laugh and talk and fight with the Perfs. Not to be scared that she might crack on them at any minute.

She excused herself to go to the bathroom.

Stevie wanted to cry and scream and laugh, and feel something. Anything would be better than the dull ache she had now.

The question that haunted her was what she had done wrong as a child to make her brothers leave her.

They had been so close, she could always count on one of them to be around when she scraped her knee, or fell out of a tree (which, embarrassingly, had happed at least 4 times). They had babysat her every time their parents went out, and picked her up after every day of school. She had been used on countless occasions as 'bait' to catch girls, and as a mini cheer squad for every sports game.

So what had she done wrong? Maybe she had pestered them to play with her too much, or laughed at them when they brought home girls.

Maybe they had never been as close as she had thought.

It wasn't even Leif, or Finn or James that really bothered her now. It was Ben.

Fun, cheeky, sweet Ben. He had played so often with her, and Nelson and Kevin, joining in on which ever game or prank they had planned for the day.

He had laughed with her from the top of the stairs when Leif brought the first girl home. She had only been 6, and Ben had been 10. Ben had been her confident, her friend and her closest ally.

So of course it hurt that he'd gone to college, but she figured they'd still talk all the time, and that he would come home some weekends. But it hadn't taken long for the number of emails he sent her to dwindle to one or maybe two a week, and for him to stop coming home on weekends. Their closeness had been gone by Christmas. Suddenly, there were no more late night talks with hot chocolate. Ben was 'tired' or had to 'study', he didn't have any time left for her. It hurt _so_ much for _so_ long, but it had faded, to the dull ache she felt now.

And for all Ben's attempts to talk to her, she could only feel irritation. How dare he come back after so long, and just expect her to talk to him. How dare he think that things could ever be ok? Because they wouldn't, they couldn't.

Kasey pulled Stevie aside before rehearsal that afternoon, a worried frown painted on her usually smiling face. "Are you going to be ok to play the gig tomorrow?" she asked gently.

Stevie nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Kasey wasn't convinced. "Are you sure? Because we can always cancel."

"No we can't." Stevie replied. "I'll be fine." Her tone was forceful, and Kasey figured that pushing the topic any further was fruitless. Besides, Stevie was right, they really couldn't cancel, it wouldn't look good.

Kasey could only hope that Stevie would be okay, her bass playing recently had lacked any… how should she describe it? Interest? Fun? Enjoyment from Stevie?

Passion. Yes passion was the right way to put it. But at least she was getting the right notes, and coming in at the right time. _Trust, Kasey. Have faith in Stevie._

* * *

Zander and Stevie spent their Friday night date at Zanders watching movies.

To Zanders shock, Stevie had chosen to watch _The Notebook_ and had cried. She never cried at romantic movies, usually she threw popcorn at the screen.

Zander picked the next movie. _Ironman. _Stevie loved _ironman_, or at least, every other time they had watched it she had. This time she fell asleep 15 minutes into the movie.

_Probably a good thing. _Zander told himself, _she probably needed the sleep. _

On any other night Zander would have just left her to sleep, finding a blanket and staying right there with her. But Kasey had been talking to Stevie's brother Leif, who had explained that they all wanted to take Stevie out for lunch in an attempt to get her to talk to them. So Zander decided that taking Stevie home while she couldn't put up a fight was much better than when she could.

It was Ben who opened the door when Zander knocked on Stevie's door. He had quietly introduced himself, as Zander had gently laid his sleeping girlfriend on her bed, pulling the covers over her tightly.

"She looks so peaceful." Ben remarked with a sigh.

Zander nodded, kissing Stevie's forehead gently. "Sleep well." He whispered.

Ben pulled the bedroom door closed behind Zander as they made their way back to the living room.

"Thanks for taking care of her." Ben said suddenly. The comment coming out of the blue.

Zander nodded. "Of course." He would always care for her.

"I don't know what she's told you, man, but I really haven't meant to lose contact with her.

Zander, who had been slowly gaining information from the brief spurts of talking Stevie had had over the past week, gave a little smile. "I know, don't worry she'll come around. I don't know everything, she hasn't exactly been… talkative, this week. But it seems to me that she is just hurt that you left her, and now she's got herself all worked up."

Ben looked relieved. "I'm glad you don't hate me."

Zander shrugged, "I have no reason to hate you. Besides, fanning the flames of my girlfriend's bad moods has never been helpful to anyone." Zander had heard Stevie use an expression like that once, it entertained him, all the peculiar things she said.

"I just hope that at least she'll talk to me."

"She will, on Monday she was pretty adamant that she wasn't ever going to talk to you again. But now… I think she's getting pretty tired of it."

Ben breathed out, "phew."

"Well, man, I'll see you tomorrow at the gig?"

Ben nodded.

"And," Zander added as he opened the front door, "Could you see that she eats something decent tomorrow?"

"Sure." Ben waved Zander goodbye. Assured that he really was a good guy.

**Hey :)**

**Sorry I couldn't update yesterday, I got stuck half way through this chapter and my mental block didn't clear up till about 2 hours ago.**

**Anyway, this is the last sad chapter. Thank goodness, as much as I love drama, after a while it becomes hard to put my favourite characters through turmoil. **

**Now****, My lovely reviewers:**

**HTRobsessed: your two reviews made me smile. Thank you, for telling me how much you like this story. I cant tell you how much that means to me. The first time I read your first review I was thoroughly confused, but once I'd read it again, it made me smile. But I have to tell you that I didn't hate the last chapter, It just didn't turn out the way I hoped. So this chapter is for you, because while I was out with my family, and my cousins stole my phone and a was just so bored, I just remembered that I had someone who liked this, and I felt a lot better.**

**ZevieFTW: I never said Stevies reasons for being mad at her brothers are entirely rational, there not. at all. But Stevie was always a hot headed character, so I feel as if she would probably have really built up the anger at this point. I have tried to include Kevin, Nelson and Kasey in this chapter, but unfortunately, I find it very hard to write Kevin and Nelson. They just don't flow well. but not next chapter, but the chapter after they will definitely be involved. :)**

**Zevielover17: I love you too 3 :). (BTW, I love your profile pic :))**

**ZevieANDHinnyFan: Hello fellow Zevie fan! I'm glad you like this :)**

**Until next time (hopefully tomorrow)!**

**Encantria 3**


	6. Anger Management

Stevie woke up to blinding sun streaming through her window and on to her face. She always closed her curtains every night before she went to sleep, so how could they be open?

And another thing, why was she here and not at Zanders?

All in all, Stevie was in a pretty bad mood.

Locating her phone- witch was perched on top of her closed laptop on her desk, Stevie found that she had a text from Zander

From_ Zander 3__:_ **Babe, you fell asleep so I dropped you home, I love you. Z**

Stevie let out a low growl. Did he think that telling her he loved her made it all better?

From _Stevie:_ **Don't call me _babe._**

She typed back angrily. Zander replied almost instantly.

From_ Zander 3:_ **Alright then, Steviekins.**

Stevie glared at her phone before throwing it hard at her bed.

* * *

"What are you still doing here?" Stevie growled at Ben as she entered the kitchen

"Drinking Coffee." He replied with a bright smile.

Stevie gave out a huffy breath and made herself some coffee.

"Steves please, we need to talk. Don't you think you've ignored me for long enough?"

Stevie glared at him. "Number one: No, I don't think I've ignored you for long enough. And number two: Don't call me Steves. Only people who are actually part of my life call me that." Her voice was icy

"Well," Ben hopped off the stool he had been sitting on, "whether you like it or not, I am part of your life. You're still my sister."

"Only by blood."

"Stevie this is ridiculous. You can yell at me, scream at me, but don't totally ignore me."

"Clearly I'm not _totally_ ignoring you, I'm talking to you now aren't I?" Stevie remarked dryly, crossing her arms irritably over her chest.

"Well then, explain to me why you hate me so much." Ben requested, leaning his elbows on the kitchen island.

Stevie was shocked. "You think I hate you?" she clasped her coffee cup tightly, confusion flooding her face.

"How else would you describe the past week?"

She let out a chocked breath, biting her lip as she searched for the words to tell him how she felt. "I may be angry at you Ben, but I could never hate you. But you walked out 3 and a half years ago, promising me that you would call, and email, and come home on weekends. And you didn't. And then you all come back last weekend, and expect me to tell you what's happening, you all expect me to listen to you, to do what you say. I'm not a little kid anymore, Ben. And I expect not to be treated like one." She could feel herself getting worked up, the tears were threatening to fall. All week she had been forced to relive every bad moment from the past three and a half years, and now, she had to put all that pain into words.

"I don't expect you to tell me everything. I just want to talk to you." Ben said quietly.

"Really?" she whispers.

"Really." He replies.

Her voice is slightly shaky as she speaks, "So If I tell you nothing about the past few years-" she falters uncertainly.

"I won't be upset." Ben finishes for her.

"And if I tell you?" she's gripping the cup so tightly her hands are turning white.

"That's ok too."

Stevie turns away, Ben's worried she might walk away, and that she'll never really talk to him again. But she places the coffee cup on the bench, rubs her clammy hands on her pajama pants, and takes a shaky breath before turning back to him.

"After you left I came home every day to an empty house. I think that's the first day I'd ever been here on my own. It's eerie, I kept hearing voices. All of you. Calling me to dinner or to come and see something, or you all talking to each other. Everything was so quiet though. Your voices were all in my head."

_Don't cry Stevie. You don't cry. Stevie Baskara DOESN'T cry._

She drew another shaky breath before starting again. "I never noticed how much Mom and Dad worked before, but as I did my homework on my own, ate dinner on my own, and watched movies while waiting up for them till I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, I realized how alone I was. Kevin and Nelson are fantastic friends, but there's only so much time we could spend together. I cried myself to sleep every night."

The tears were pricking the back of her eyes. How many times had she cried in the past week? She must have over done her quota for the next few years.

Ben didn't know what to think, what to do or say. So he stayed quiet, hoping the story wouldn't get any worse, but knowing it would.

"We were bullied every day. Once upon a time that wouldn't have bothered me. But it did. It hurts more when there's no one there to tell you that the bullies are wrong, that you _are_ worth something. And there's only so many times you can push the assaults away before you start to believe everything that they say. It took everything in me to defend Kevin and Nelson. I used every technique I learnt from all of you. But I got in a lot of trouble for 'picking fights'. I'm freaky Baskara, loserberry, a man-girl. They still call me all of that. Only now, I _have _friends who defend me."

She was crying now, funny how it felt better to cry than to hold back the tears.

"I wanted to go to every one of those stupid school dances. But I had no one to go with. Kevin and Nelson practically had a phobia of them. All I wanted was to feel normal. I wanted to be just like the four of you as a kid. That came back to bite me, apparently, I wasn't lady like enough, I didn't dress right, I couldn't do my hair in anything other than a ponytail, and worst of all, I had no idea what mascara was.

I've come a long way since then- if you haven't noticed. I now am considered a female."

Ben bit his lip awkwardly, he still had no idea what to say to her. Sorry? Would that cover it?

"Maybe you did me a favor by leaving. Cause if you hadn't, I probably wouldn't be dating Zander." Stevie gave a harsh laugh.

Then to his shock she held out her wrists to him, "See here?" she pointed to one of many faint red lines on her skin, "Things got so bad I started cutting. I couldn't cope. I'm lucky they've faded, and that I had the good sense at the time not to do too many. I did things you couldn't even imagine. There's so much I'll never tell anyone. Not even Zander. I've dipped my toes in the _deep end_. That time is so dark. In art once we were told to pain the worst memory we had, I threw red and black paint balloons at the canvas. And then Mom finally got the idea something was wrong and she sent me to that summer camp. I meet Zander on day one. We've been best friends ever since. If I hadn't met him I can't even imagine what my life would be like now."

Stevie, who had stopped crying by now, ran her tongue over her lips slowly, thoughtfully contemplating the idea.

She was jolted back to reality by Ben's shallow breath and chocked _"Sorry"._

Stevie reached across the island and gripped his hands. "Don't be." She said simply.

Ben's forehead creased in confusion.

Stevie shook her head. "I was always going to go there, I don't know how far I would have gone if you were still here, but I do know it would have happened either way."

She sighed, drawing her hands back to her and fiddling with the rings on her fingers.

"Look Ben, I'm not angry at you for all I went through. I was angry because you all came back in expecting the innocent little kid you left to be the same, expecting me to tell you that my life was all sunshine and rainbows. That I was crying because Zander and I had a little spat- What we said was not little, and it wasn't nice at all. I'm not a little kid any more, I won't jump at you like a lost puppy after you've been away for so long. I tried that- it didn't work. And I won't push myself to pretend everything's fine when it's not."

Ben nodded. "I'm still sorry you felt like that."

Stevie gave a little smile.

"Can I give you a hug?" he asked tentatively.

She giggled and moved round the kitchen, letting him pull her in to a tight hug.

When he finally let her go he held her at arm's length, looking her up and down in a good natured, brotherly way.

Stevie raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"It's lucky I saw a bit of you these last few years, otherwise I wouldn't recognize you. You really aren't a little kid anymore."

She shook her head, a smile starting on her lips.

"Can I call you Steves again?"

Stevie laughed, Ben had always loved her laugh, the way her eyes lit up and her nose crinkled. "'Couse." She giggled.

"Well then, _Steves,_ as your older brothers, Leif, Finn, James and I would like to take you out to lunch. To get to know you _now. _You don't have to tell us anything big, just talk to us as Stevie the seventeen year old."

Stevie took a step back out of his grasp, she bit her lip nervously, clearly uncertain as to whether this was a good idea or not. She ran her tongue over her top teeth and twisted a piece of hair round her fingers. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Ben, she nodded. "Okay."

"Wear something nice, we'll leave at 12 o'clock."

Stevie nodded again, her mouth felt dry so she went to get her coffee, only to find it was cold. With an indignant grunt she poured it down the sink, before finding a tea bag. Figuring that she didn't need the energy boost coffee gave her.

**Hi! Sorry this has taken so long, I wrote so many drafts of this chapter, and NONE of then came out even vaguely close to how I wanted it.** **but a couple of days ago there was a huge storm where I live, it blocked off all but one road out of my area and cut the internet. So I sat for nine hours with nothing to do before forcing myself to figure out where I went wrong with this. And ta-da! Magic! it worked, the internet just came back on so I'm posting this before it goes out again :)**

**Now, My wonderful reviewers:**

**ZevieANDHinnyFan****: I fully intend to continue :)**

**HTRobsessed: ****_fanning the flames of my girlfriend's bad moods_****, ****was my favourite line too. When I re-read the chapter I thought it seemed so out of character for Zander, but I loved it so much I had to keep it in. BTW your reviews make me smile, there so sweet and very entertaining :)**

**Guest (Zevielover17 I think? Correct me if I'm wrong): thank you! I would love to help you with a fic, if you PM we can have a conversation about it :), After I read your review I looked up Tori Kelly's Funny, I was very impressed, I really like that song!**

**ZevieFTW****::) **

**I promise I have not given up on this story, in fact the next chapter is about half done (I'm guessing, but its already longer than i intended it to be, soooo...). I'll post it as soon as its done :)**

**Untill Next time! **

**Encantria 3**


	7. Sometimes forgiveness is best

After deliberating all morning what she should wear, Stevie had finally settled on her strapless blue dress with the lines of sequins on the skirt. It made her feel comfortable, and she was familiar with it _(oh, the number of dates she had worn this thing on were countless)_. She needed anything that would make her feel less nervous than she felt right now, because honestly, she was terrified. The last time she had and actual meal with her brothers had been thanksgiving, but all the rest of her family had been there and the four people she actually wanted to talk to her had all ignored her.

Wearing heals was always a risk, she was bound to fall over _something. _But, on the upside they gave her a little more height, which was needed to bring her up to chin height of Ben- he was the shortest of the four.

Besides, seventeen year old Stevie would wear heels, right? She felt like a child, wondering what she might be like as a teenager. It was stupid, because she _was _seventeen, she should know what she usually wore. But her mind had mysteriously gone blank.

It was seventeen year old Stevie they wanted to talk to, and for some stupid reason, her normal self was absolutely nowhere to be found. The child that had seemingly taken over had no idea how to do mascara, or eyeliner. And that was a big problem.

Finally Stevie was forced out of her daze as her phone rang loudly.

_Zander 3_

"Hey." Stevie answered shakily.

"Hey Beautiful." For some reason, Stevie knew that Zander was grinning, even though she couldn't see him.

She smiled, he was exactly what she needed right now.

"Are you ok?" he asked, concerned.

"Umm…" Stevie squeaked, pushing her makeup products around on her dresser, "what comes first, eyeliner or eyeshadow?"

Zander paused, "Is everything ok Steves?"

"Ummm…" she said again, finally sinking on to her bed. "I can't do this." she finally declared.

"So you agreed to go to lunch with your brothers?"

"Yes- wait, how did you know?" her voice was almost squeaky.

Zander bit his lip mentally kicking himself for slipping up. "Ben told me when I dropped you off last night."

"Was I awake during this exchange?" she demanded.

"No. I put you in bed, and Ben had opened your front door for me so I talked to him, he told me that they all were hoping you'd talk to them over lunch."

"Oh." Stevie tucked her legs under her, leaning back in to the wall beside her bed, "Couldn't I just have slept at your place? Why did you have to bring me home?" She whined.

"Would you have gone home if I had let you sleep over?" Zander asked, amused.

Stevie bit her lip, of course she wouldn't have come home. If it had been up to her last night, she never would have gone home.

Zander took her silence as a no and chuckled, "So did you have some sort of a conversation with one of them?"

"Yer, I talked to Ben." Stevie played with a loose sequin, spinning it around between her fingers.

Zander didn't expect her to give him details, if he was lucky, maybe tonight she would tell him how well it went.

"I actually feel better. Less angry." She admitted, much to Zanders surprise.

"And now? You're going out to lunch."

"Mhhmm." She responded awkwardly, "but Z, I'm terrified! They haven't had a decent conversation with me in years, and last weekend was the first time in god knows how long, that we were all in a room together, just the five of us."

"Isn't the point of today to get past all of that?" Zander responded.

"I don't know…" she sighed miserably.

"At least they're trying now Steves. Better than before, right?"

"I guess…" she mumbled

"And if it's a complete disaster, I'll come and get you and we'll get milkshakes at _Vinnie's."_

_Vinnie's_ was Stevie's favorite café, there was a possibility she was biased, since the owner was an old friend of her parents- he had always had a soft spot for her and always gave her free milkshakes.

She smiled, "promise?"

"Falcon scouts honor."

That was enough to send her in to a fit of giggles, Zander had been a falcon scout for about four days when he was six. The only skill he had retained from the whole experience was bragging- much to Stevie's amusement.

"My honor is no laughing matter Miss Stephanie!" he said in mock hurt.

Stevie only laughed harder.

Zander smiled, his job had been done. She would hopefully be able to get through the whole lunch without freaking out.

"I love you." He said, breaking through her giggles.

Stevie felt the butterflies that had been fluttering gently round her stomach the whole conversation, turn into excited, yet clumsy dragons.

"I love you too." She replied, flopping back on to her pillows, as the happy buzz took over her whole body.

"You'll be fine, I _know_ you'll be fine." Zander told her firmly.

The reassurance from Zander gave her the strength to believe it.

"Bye." She whispered, biting her lip happily.

As Stevie finished her make-up, she couldn't help but play the way Zander had said her name, over and over in her head. _Stephanie. _Zander was the only one who said it in a way she liked it. He used it with love. Everyone else used it to prove to her how much trouble she was in.

If Stevie was being honest (which she _really _didn't want to be) it made her light headed, she wanted to dance, and sing and giggle hysterically.

Why did she want that? _Calm down_. She told herself irritably. _Deep breaths. Mustn't let how insane he makes you show._

She did a twirl in front of the mirror, giggling ecstatically as her dress puffed out around her.

Her phone buzzed.

From_ Zander 3__: _send me a picture?

Stevie let out another giggle, _perfect timing. _She took one with a smile. Receiving five red heart emoticons from Zander and a word:

_Beautiful. _

Stevie grinned happily, grabbing her purse and doing one last spin in her mirror before walking to the living room.

"Woah." Ben gasped. "You clean up good Steves."

She shook her head fondly at his terrible grammar, "Thanks."'

James was next to appear giving her a once over before presenting his hand in a very serious manner, "I don't think we've meet, I'm James."

Stevie figured she'd play along, "It's lovely to meet you James, I'm Stevie." Instead of shaking her hand, James pulled Stevie into a bear like hug.

James' hugs had been Stevie's favorite as a kid, they were warm and soft and adorably loving- just like James.

As soon as James released her, Finn grabbed her hand and spun her around. "Don't you just love the way it puffs out?" she asked with a giggle.

Finn smiled, the girl in front of him resembled the little girl he remembered very closely, she still had an infectious smile, an adorable laugh, and she was absolutely delighted by the smallest of things. After last weekend Finn had wondered if that girl had gone completely, the Stevie who yelled at them and told them that she _wouldn't _forgive them, and- in his opinion- had worn too much eye make-up, wasn't one he knew at all. And while this was scary, replacing the little girl with a teenager in his head, he liked this girl.

"How many layers of fabric do you have under that skirt?" Finn asked.

Stevie gave another giggle (_what was with all the giggling today?) _"I don't know… a lot?"

Leif was the last to say anything, Stevie bit her lip nervously as he looked at her, "Should we start calling you something more grown up now? "

She shook her head.

"Well then, Stevie, you look beautiful."

Stevie let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding in. "Thank you Leif." She whispered. It was funny, how much his opinion _still_ really mattered to her. Shouldn't she be over seeking her older brother's approval for everything?

Interrupting the silence that had settled over the siblings, Ben held out an arm to Stevie, "May I accompany you to lunch Miss Stevie?"

She slid her arm through his, with a laugh "You may."

The restaurant was one Stevie went too often, she felt relieved, it wasn't too fancy here and she felt safe.

The waiter was one of the kids from school, George, "Stevie!" he said in delight, if there was anything that made his day better it was the arrival of one of his class mates (except Molly, Molly made his day _worse_).

"Hey George." Stevie smiled, "oh" she said suddenly, "you know the world history assignment?"

George nodded.

"What are the dates we have to choose between? I can't find that stupid piece of paper."

"You know I have my book here, I'll photocopy the sheet and give it to you." George replied.

Stevie threw her arms around him, "Thank you!"

"Table for five?" he asked as she released him.

Stevie nodded.

"Zander will be jealous, you have five guys!"

Stevie smiled, "Zander has all of those idiotic bimbos. Payback time."

George nodded in approval, as he led them to a table, "evil, I like it."

Stevie practically buried her face in the menu once she was seated, suddenly she really wasn't sure she wanted to be here. She gripped her purse tightly with one hand, because it held her phone which was her connection to Zander if she needed him.

Ben nudged her, with a reassuring smile, "are you ok?"

Stevie forced a bright smile, "oh, yep. I was just thinking."

Ben nodded, but he wasn't sure he believed her.

"Do you come here often?" Finn asked her, attempting to break the awkwardness that had encased them.

Stevie nodded, "We come here all the time, especially before gigs." And her burst of confidence was gone.

"We? As in-… your band?" Leif questioned.

"Gravity 5." Stevie corrected him.

"Right."

"How did that get started, Steves?" Finn asked in an attempt to distract from the fact that none of them could remember that.

Stevie moved her water glass from one side of her place to the other, before taking a sip and promptly putting it back where it started. "Errrr..." _bad start, Stevie_. "Zander and I were talking about how we'd always wanted to start a band for ages, so when school started again… we just sort of… started one."

Stevie took another sip from her glass, glaring at the lip-gloss smudge that was left.

"How did you come up with the name?" Ben asked kindly.

Stevie took another sip of water. Before smiling at the memory, "Nelson was trying to explain the concept of gravity to Zander- who totally sucks at science, and for the millionth time I tripped. Zander caught me. And he looked at me with a very serious expression and said 'I like gravity, it can happen anytime it likes.' And so we named ourselves Gravity 4." She nodded, spinning the water glass round in her fingers.

"But aren't you Gravity 5?" James looked confused.

"Yes, after Kasey joined we changed the name."

There was a chorus of 'ohhhs' and nods. Stevie took another awkward sip of water.

"How long have you known Zander?" Leif asked.

Stevie wanted to ask if this was some protective older brother question, but it really didn't seem like a good time.

"Since the summer I went on camp. Sooo… like almost two years, I think."

She took another sip of water, it was running out fast. What was she going to do when it did run out completely? _Panic_. The unhelpful part of her brain told her, Stevie searched in vain for some other opinion, but _panic_ seemed to be the only response she could come up with.

Another round of awkward nods.

"And for how much of that have two you been dating?"

"Like… six… seven? Months." she bit her lip again.

Her phone buzzed, Stevie practically ripped it out of her purse, glad of the distraction.

From _Kasey!_(_Stevie's favorite person eva_): **Zander showed me the picture. Gurl, you look hot. I see my influence has finally affected you ****J 3**

Stevie shook her head

Stevie smiled, of course Kasey would turn the whole thing into something about her.

From_ Stevie:_ **thanks- wait, do you even know what I'm doing? **

From _Kasey! _(_Stevie's favorite person eva_): **ur out 2 lunch with ur bros**

From_ Stevie:_ **how did you know?**

From _Kasey! _(_Stevie's favorite person eva_): **Magic.**

Stevie looked up at her brothers. "Is this whole lunch thing some sort of conspiracy?" She asked suspiciously.

"Noooo." James said awkwardly.

"Because both Kasey and Zander knew. And I know Zander knew before last night because if he hadn't then he wouldn't have dropped me home. And Kasey didn't want to do anything with me today... How long have you been planning this?"

"Not that long." James squeaked.

Stevie narrowed her eyes at all of them.

"Well, we had to make sure that you had nothing else to do." Leif patted her hand.

Stevie considered being mad, but being mad didn't make a lot of sense. And besides, it took _way_ to much effort.

She pursed her lips "how are you in contact with my friends?"

Leif paused and seemed to be debating what to say, "Kasey came over last weekend before you got home. She wanted to talk to you. She ended up telling us what to do. She gave me her number in case we needed to call her."

"Oh." Stevie said. "What did she tell you to do?"

"She told us to let you cry."

"Super." Stevie muttered sarcastically. "Did she also tell you to sneak around my room? Or was that your _brilliant _idea."

James looked terrified and shielded his face with his hands.

"Seriously? James you have GOT to stop thinking I'm going to hurt you. I'm not."

"Really?" James whimpered, Stevie rolled her eyes.

"Really. Twelve year old me may have. And I'll admit, last weekend I seriously considered it. But now... That doesn't mean its ok though. I really am not impressed. Just... Don't do it again. Okay?"

James nodded furiously. Stevie smirked.

"I'm glad to see I still have so much power over you James."

"To much power, I think." Finn said with a smile.

"Really." An evil smile appeared on her face.

"Stevie, you know we would literally do anything for you. Something about you is rather hard to resist." Leif admitted.

Stevie was tempted to ask that if that was the case then where had they been all this time. But she figured she'd already rocked that boat enough.

"Well girls were always the smarter sex. I guess that all kicked in early for me." Stevie gave her most adorable smile.

"Well!" Ben exclaimed in mock hurt.

"That smile is definitely the problem." Finn muttered

Stevie gave Ben a reassuring pat on the hand "lucky you're all on the smarter end of that scale. Zander on the other hand..."

"Zanders not smart?" Leif raised an eyebrow.

"It's not that he's NOT smart, he's just... a boy. He has no idea of what he shouldn't look through or when NOT to flirt with me."

"What sort of times should he not flirt with you?" Finn questioned.

"Like class. Or during band practice and especially not gigs. That's his favourite time. He tells me it's so he can prove to everyone that I'm his." Stevie rolled her eyes. "He's such an idiot"

"Why?" James looked confused.

"Why is he an idiot? Because flirting with me during songs will get him nowhere. And besides, I don't need to give Kasey anymore reason to tell us to stop flirting. She LOVES telling us not to flirt."

There was a pause after they ordered, like they all had forgotten what they were saying.

Stevie took a sip of her water which had- to her relief, just been refilled.

Leif cleared his throat "so... You and Zander haven't been dating that long, have you."

Stevie raised an eyebrow _(didn't they remember what she'd told them five minutes ago?)_, "that depends on your definition of long. I would think seven months is a decent length of time."

"Oh, well, yes, that is a decent length of time." Leif agreed. "How did it all... Start?"

Stevie smirked, "you make it sound so awkward. Trust me, I could tell you much more awkward things than how Zander and I started dating."

"No thank you." Leif replied.

"Well, I was supposed to go on a date with another guy, but at the last minute he couldn't come. So he- in a moment of pure brilliance- called Zander and told him that he was pretty sure that Zander had a better chance than him. So Zander showed up and asked me out- it's the nicest way I've ever heard him ask a girl out. Anyway, we dated for about a month in secret before he decided he couldn't do that anymore. In the middle of lunch, while we were eating in the big courtyard, Zander picked me up kissed me and declared he couldn't hold his love for me in any more. Kasey squealed in my ear for most of the next period."

"ohhh, that's nice." James cooed.

"Don't tell Zander though, it'll go to his head and then he'll do it every lunch time."

They all nodded.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, k?"

They all waited until she was out of earshot to speak. "Oh, she's good." James huffed.

"I know." Ben agreed. "If she asked us to go to South America to get her a pineapple, we'd all go."

"The little sister effect." Finn commented dryly.

"Your meals." George placed the food down.

"How long have you known Stevie?" Leif asked the boy, who was refilling all their glasses

"Kindergarten." George answered.

"Does she tend to get what she wants?" Leif continued.

George nodded, "she's way smarter than most of the grade, so everyone wants her help with school. And in addition to that, she's stronger than most of the boys. So, yes. But she always makes it seem like it's that person's idea."

"Well," Ben chuckled, "What a surprise. Little Miss Stevie has everyone wrapped around her little finger."

"We should probably run now, before her spell gets any stronger." James hissed.

Stevie walked slowly back from the bathroom, trying to delay the inevitable awkwardness she would have to endure the minute she sat down.

From _Kasey! _(_Stevie's favorite person eva_): **Wanna come shopping with me tomorrow?**

Stevie rolled her eyes. Of course Kasey wanted to go shopping the minute Stevie didn't want to.

From_ Stevie:_ **yer, that's about as likely to happen as me getting pregnant in high school. **

From _Kasey! _(_Stevie's favorite person eva_): **YOU'RE PREAGNANT!?**

"Oh god." Stevie muttered as she arrived at the table.

"What?" Ben asked.

Stevie put her pointer finger up "wait for it..." She said, placing her phone in the middle of the table.

Seconds later the phone (and consequently the whole table) started vibrating with various incoming text messages. Stevie shook her head.

"See." She sat back down.

Her phone started ringing, "Ignore." Stevie muttered.

"Who are you ignoring and why?" Finn questioned, confused.

"My friends. Oh look at this. _'Steviekins. I don't quite know how you're pregnant, but I would think this would put a serious damper on our relationship'_." She face palmed "I am going to kill Kasey."

"What?" Leif exclaimed, horrified "You're pregnant?"

"No." Stevie snorted. "I'd actually better answer this." She said, pointing to the name flashing up on the screen. "Hey Nelly."

Through the loud speaker came Nelsons distraught voice. "Stevie, how could you not tell me? We're best friends right? This is big news!"

"Really big news!" Came Kevin's voice.

For a moment Stevie let them babble on, and amused expression on her face. While her four brothers sat, more confused than ever.

"Nelly." She said finally, "NELLY!"

The voices stopped. "Yes?" Nelson replied.

"Sweetie, I'm not pregnant. Kasey miss-interpreted my message. I told her I was about as likely to go shopping with her tomorrow as I am to get pregnant in high school."

"Oh." Nelson said slowly, "so I won't be an uncle?"

Stevie smiled, "maybe someday, but today is not that day."

"Stevie?" Nelsons asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"If one day you do get pregnant..."

"Keep going Nelly." Stevie encouraged him.

"Will you tell me before you tell Kasey so I can hear it from you?"

Stevie could hear Kasey's protests in the background. "You know I wouldn't do it any other way Nelly. Now, could you put Kasey on please?"

There was some scuffling on the other end and Kasey's muffled voice saying "I don't want to talk to her, she'll kill me!"

"Better over the phone than in person." Kevin reasoned.

"Please don't kill me!" Kasey whimpered into the receiver.

"It's a bit hard to kill you over the phone Kace." Stevie smirked, "I'm not going to kill you, as long as you only told _three_ people. Zander, Kevin and Nelson. But oh god Kasey! You know why I always use proper English when I text you? Because you keep doing this! For god's sake! Couldn't you re-read the message before you tell everyone? This has to be at least the third time this month! If I was going to tell you something like that then I would at least make the effort to call you, if not see you all in person. And please," Stevie added, "_think_ before you tell our little children these things. Because they just hyperventilated to me over the phone."

"So you're not mad?" Kacey asked uncertainly.

"No. But you have to explain to my boyfriend that this is your fault."

"Message received." Zander said.

"Are you all hanging out without me?" Stevie said in disbelief.

"You idiot!" Kasey hissed to Zander, "Why did you speak?"

"Because," Zander hissed back, "I like talking to my girlfriend!"

"Couldn't you have just called her after this?" Kasey exclaimed.

"Stevie!" Zander grabbed the phone, "I always knew that Kasey was reading it all wrong I just wanted to see how long it took her to realise."

Stevie's goofy smile from earlier that morning re-appeared, "good." She said, resting her chin on her hand. The butterflies were back.

Her brothers, who had been able to witness the whole conversation as it was on loud speaker, raised their eyebrows at each other as Stevie turned to mush at the sound of Zanders voice.

"Because I know you'll always tell me first." Zander added. "So five o'clock?"

"Yep, five."

"Love you!"

Stevie, who usually wasn't very vocal about such feelings in public, replied with a giggly "I love you too!" before ending the call. Instantly, the sappy smile disappeared. "Sorry about that. Kasey can be _such _an idiot at times."

The boys all exchanged glances as Stevie took a bite of her salad. She'd gone from mother hen, to very in love, to normal Stevie, in moments. It was almost scary- in an incredible way.

She smiled at them, clearly having no idea of the effect her conversation was having over them.

Leif cleared his throat, clearly, he was the bravest. "So, what's the age order with you guys?"

"I'm the youngest." Stevie answered instantly. "Zanders the oldest, his birthday is May 15th. Nelly and Kacey are July 21st, and Kevin is November 9th."

Leif wasn't quite sure how to take this information in. She was the youngest, yet from what he could see, she was the most mature. But then again, she had always taken on a motherly role with Kevin and Nelson. He could remember her telling them to wash their hands before they ate, or wipe there shoes on the mat. And it was always Stevie they went to when they hurt themselves. One day- not today, she would make a very good mother.

"What's happening at five?" Finn asked, although he already knew.

"The band is going out for dinner." Stevie replied nonchalantly, "This is good salad!" She complemented.

"OH! Before your gig!" James exclaimed. Leif, Finn and Ben all gave him dirty looks.

"Let me guess." Stevie drawled, "Kasey told you."

"With your permission, we'd like to come." Ben tried to fix the situation.

"To the gig? I can't exactly stop you now, Can I?" Stevie responded.

"But," Leif interjected, "We wouldn't come if you didn't want us to."

"I don't mind." Stevie shrugged, "Do you guys want to try some salad? It's really good!"

That was easier than any of them had thought. No angry yelling or reluctant agreement, it was like she really couldn't care less.

"You're not one of those girls that only ever eats salad, are you?" Finn asked awkwardly.

Stevie gave a very un-lady like snort of laughter. "Oh please! I eat steak and ribs and stuff to, I've just wanted to try this for ages. But Zander will never split it with me. Apparently, Zander thinks salad is too 'girly'. Weirdo."

"You know, we've never heard you play Steves." Ben attempted to re-divert the conversation.

"Although I've heard you're really good!" James cut in.

"From where?" Stevie's brow creased.

"The girls around campus, telling everyone that my sister is Stevie from Gravity 5 is working way better than showing them a picture of you when you were nine."

"You have a picture of me from when I was nine?" Stevie raised an eyebrow. _So they had remembered she existed while they were away?_

James nodded and produced his wallet, opening it to reveal a picture of a laughing Stevie.

"Why." Stevie asked.

"Girls think you're cute, they always want to know about my _adorable _baby sister."

"But I'm neither that adorable or a baby anymore." Stevie protested.

"Ahh, but see, they don't know that."

Stevie shook her head, "I can't believe you're using me to get girls!"

James grinned, "Either way, apparently Gravity 5 is the next big thing. Over the last week I've gotten eleven dates out of telling girls that you're Stevie from Gravity 5, and they love seeing that picture to. It's like a bonus."

Stevie face palmed.

"Give her a minute…" Finn muttered.

"Wait," Stevie exclaimed, "People know that we exist?"

James nodded, "And they love you."

"Cool!" Stevie said, in something that almost resembled a shriek.

"And I was thinking-"James started.

Leif cut him off with a good natured, "You think?"

"Yes I think!" James exclaimed indignantly, "Anyway, Stevie, we have these Friday night concerts and their always looking for new bands to perform, so if you want…"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!" Now Stevie really was shrieking.

"Alright!" James smiled. "And it's a good excuse for me to prove that you really are my sister."

Stevie laughed, "If you get us a gig like that, then I'll follow you around all weekend to prove it. Don't tell Kasey though, because then she'll bug me till we have a date."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, Leif tried to pick up the courage to talk to Stevie about the weekend before. But she looked so happy eating her salad, and by the way she had reacted last time he had asked her to talk, he was scared that he might chase all the good words and feeling of the past hour away. But he had to apologize. Things couldn't be left the way they were.

"Stevie" he said finally, wringing his hands nervously under the table, "about last weekend…"

She looked expectant, not mad, he realized. She wouldn't yell at them in the middle of a restaurant anyway, would she?

"I'm sorry about what I said last weekend."

She nodded.

"But can I just ask, why do you hate being called Stephanie so much?"

"Negative association." She said.

"What?" Leif asked, confused.

"When I was a kid, I was only called Stephanie while I was in trouble. Therefore it instantly has a series of negative memories attached to it." She explained, "it's like when you train a dog, you train them by giving them treats for doing good things, and by saying things angrily if they do something bad. So essentially, I was trained to associate negative feeling with my full name as a kid."

"Wow." Finn remarked "you've put a lot of thought into this."

"I didn't really think about it until Zander started calling me Stephanie. I like the way he says it and I like the feeling that accompanies it. But when you guys say it… it comes with memories of being yelled at."

"Fair enough." Leif said

"But Zander called you Stevie today."

She nodded "Zander doesn't tend to call me Stephanie in front of other people."

"And another thing," Finn began "where were you all last Saturday?"

"You left before any of us woke up." Leif added.

"Work." Stevie said, "You know I was wearing a uniform?"

"You have a job…" Finn clarified.

"Yes. I, like most normal seventeen year olds- except Zander because he 'doesn't work for the man', have a job."

"Oh."

"Didn't Kasey tell you that when you all had your 'little chat'?" Stevie questioned.

They all shook their heads.

"Well. Now you know."

Much to Stevie's astonishment, Ben suggested that she drive them all home. Even though looking out the rear mirror gave her a glimpse of a very nervous Leif, they all agreed at the end that she was a very good driver and encased her in a suffocating hug. Stevie felt pretty good about the whole thing- much to her amazement, and picked up her bass for the first time in two weeks (outside of practice). It felt good to be able to play it again.

**Hello my Zevie loving friends!**

**So, this chapter took a very LONG turn. I finished Stevie's phone call to Zander and realised that it was like, 1000 words and was like _Whoops_. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed it. I liked putting Kasey, Kevin and Nelson in this chapter because they all make me laugh so much and I figured they would probably do something thats just that stupid.**

**Anyway, when I originally planned this story it only went for a few more chapters, but if you want me to continue after that then I'm happy to, I just need some more ideas. So, tell me what you want to see happen and I'll try and incorporate it in :)**

**My reviewers: :)**

**ZevieFTW****: I really like that you are all so enthusiastic about this. I wish I had you all in my normal life because seriously, my friends don't get excited over stuff like this at all. So don't worry about pressure, while it scared me at first, I'm used to it now and I actually kinda like it, it makes me want to keep writing. I'm glad you like Ben and Stevies relationship, I've always been fascinated with sibling relationships where there is a resnoble age gap but there still really close.**

**Zevielover17****: when you said Side Effects I literally shrieked with excitement. I have NO ONE to talk about side effects with, and I'm super obsessed so it becoming a problem. have you seen the new episode? I've already watched it about 5 times because the part where Lexi appears in that dress looking like a posh little English munckin (sorry, I have no idea how to spell that) makes me crack up so much. And she actually realises that there are other people in the world, big claps for her. Anyway, I swear I'll shut up now. Except, I promise there will be more Zevie next chapter.**

**HTRobsessed: I totally agree, Stevie would die without Zander. I like the Idea of Stevie going back to her old ways, and I have some plans for that. After this, Stevies brothers wont have quite such a prominent role- Except maybe Ben, cause he's my favourite. I would love to be beat friends with you. None of my friends watch HTR and its so sad (I did convince some of them to watch Victorious a while back though) and Since I'm 3 years late to the party, most people don't want to have long and in depth conversations with me. I do have a Tumblr I think its Under FletasDesigns or something like that. I have accounts on some other things, but honestly, I don't remember any of the passwords.**

**Happy Friday Everyone! (its Friday in Australia, is it Friday everywhere else? idk even)**

**Love Encantria 3**


	8. I Cry

Leif gave Stevie a frown as she in the kitchen later that afternoon with her bass. She put down her things, straightening her tank top and skirt as she tried to ignore the disapproving look he gave her

"Stevie? Is that really what you're going to wear?" Leif asked with a frown.

"Yes." Stevie said without looking at him.

"Are you sure?" Leif persisted.

Stevie put her hands irritably on her hips with an annoyed look. "No offence Leif, but you don't really have any right to tell me what I can and can't wear. Besides, this is more than most of the girls wear to school every day."

Leif didn't really seem satisfied.

"Fine. What's wrong with my outfit?"

"It's just so… James!" Leif gabbed his brother, dragging him over to Stevie, who rolled her eyes. "Explain to Stevie what's wrong with what she's wearing."

"You look great!" James said with a goofy grin, "If you weren't my sister I'd totally hit on you!"

"That's a little weird, but thanks. See Leif? James doesn't think there's anything wrong with what I'm wearing."

Leif frowned.

"He's just mad because you look hot." James explained.

Stevie chose to ignore that comment. "Oh my god Leif. Seriously? I'm seventeen! Not twelve. Wasn't the whole point of lunch for you guys to actually see me as a seventeen year old?"

"Yes, BUT, you're still my little sister-" Leif protested.

"Leif. I'm not even going to have this conversation with you. This is ridiculous." She shook her head, looking down at her phone as it buzzed. "Zanders here, I've got to go. See you all later."

Stevie opened the door to reveal a grinning Zander. "Hey" she smiled back.

"Ready?" he asked, taking the bass from her, it wasn't as if she couldn't carry it herself, he just liked to carry it for her and she was _way _past the stage of protesting.

"No kiss?" Stevie pouted.

Zander just smiled and pulled her out the door. On the front path, behind a bush that blocked their view of the road, he put the bass down before wrapping his arms around her. "I can't do this in front of your brothers." Zander leaned in kissing her slowly as he dipped her backwards. He could feel her giggle on to his lips.

"Zander," Stevie pulled them out of the kiss, "Why can't we do this in your truck?"

"I drove the others too. I can't kiss you properly with them there."

Stevie smiled, pulling him closer so she could wrap her arms tightly round his neck as she let him run his tongue over her lips, slowly opening her mouth.

These were Stevie's favorite kind of kisses, the ones where they seemed to mold together, personal space didn't exist, because there was no separation between them.

"Wow." She breathed as their lips separated. Every kiss was like this, spinning in to infinity and being pulled dizzily back to reality.

"We should go." Stevie whispered, although she really didn't want to. But Zander was already kissing her neck, Stevie figured that their friends could wait.

Stevie lets out a little moan, she's pretty sure that standing will soon become impossible. "Z!" she gives a breathy gasp. "You're not doing this now. We can't."

He knows she right, but he's curious to see where it would have gone. Slowly he pulls away, brushing a strand of hair off her face. "Have I told you yet that you look fantastic?"

"Not in the last hour." Stevie smirks.

"You look fantastic."

She smiles and suddenly he's pulling her down the garden path. Stevie wants to stick her head in a bucket of cold water, would that make her less red? Because she's sure she looks like a tomato.

"What took you so long?" Kasey inquires with a frown as they get in the car. She's sandwiched between Kevin and Nelson in the back seat, who are totally focused on their games and consequently oblivious to everything. It's not a position Kasey wants to be in for very long.

Zander looks at Stevie who smirks, "My brothers had some questions about the time and stuff." Stevie replies as calmly as possible.

Kasey doesn't look convinced but she drops the topic- she doesn't need to hear about their make out session (she knows that's what happened).

"So, where are we going for dinner?" Kasey asked, leaning forward to talk to Stevie and Zander.

"Where do you want to go Steves?" Zander asked his girlfriend, who was staring out the window hoping not to be involved in the conversation.

She shrugged.

Zander frowned. It wasn't like Stevie not to have an opinion on food.

"How about you Kace?" He asked

"The diner?" Kasey suggested.

The diner was 60's themed. Stevie had dragged Zander there the minute they had gotten back from camp the first summer. Stevie wanted to work there, but you had to be 18 to apply.

Zander nodded "Steves?"

"Sure." She replied without turning around. Zander glanced at Kasey as he stopped for the traffic lights. Only a few minutes ago she had been Zanders confident, smiley Stevie, and suddenly she had gone quiet.

"Kevin? Nelson? Do you HAVE an opinion on food?" Kacey asked the pair.

"Yep, Food. Foods good." Kevin said, without looking up from the game.

"Can we get food?" Nelson added.

Kasey face palmed.

Usually Stevie would have confiscated the games by this point, but she still hadn't moved.

Stevie didn't say anything even when they sat down at the table.

"What are you going to get Steves?" Zander asked, leaning so close to her that his breath tickled her cheek.

"I'm not really hungry." She responded without looking up from inspecting her chipped nail polish.

Zander frowned. "You're always hungry."

"No. I'm often hungry." Stevie corrected him. "And now I'm not."

Zander grabbed her hand, "we'll be right back." He told the other three.

"Zander!" Stevie protested as her dragged her away. "What are you doing?"

"Going outside."

"Why?" Stevie made a feeble attempt to struggle out of his grip.

"What's up?" He asked as soon as they were standing on the pavement.

"What do you mean what's up?" Stevie asked indignantly.

"Why are you so quite? And why don't you want to eat?"

"I'm quite because I was trying to avoid this conversation and I don't want to eat because I'm literally not hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"No, Zander, I'm not."

"Don't do this to yourself!"

"Do what? Make an educated decision about how I feel? Why is that bothering you so much Zander?"

"You've barley eaten all week Stevie!"

"Zander I swear to god! I had a big salad for lunch a few hours ago! Aren't I entitled to be able to choose when I eat?"

Zander ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Stevie, I'm just worried. Okay?"

"Don't be Zander! I'll get something at the club."

"Promise?" He took a step forward, lightly touching her arm.

"I'm not anorexic Zander."

Zander pulled her into a tight hug. Stevie buried her head in his chest and took a deep breath. She liked the way he smelled all Zander like, something she couldn't put her finger on.

"I just want you to be safe." He whispered in to her hair

"I am safe you idiot." Stevie punched his arm.

"Owww." Zander whined.

Stevie did get something at the club. She split her fries with Zander who made sure to watch exactly what she ate. And to everyone's relief had been much more animated during the rest of dinner- although she had clamed up when Kasey had asked her about lunch.

The gig went surprisingly well. Kasey had been secretly worried that Stevie would totally forget how to play the base or something. It was stupid, Stevie had music running through her veins and there was no way she could ever forget how to play. Stevie had gotten into it without a problem, and they'd sounded great.

Zander hadn't made any attempts to flirt with Stevie, only giving her reassuring smiles between songs

"Stevie!" James grabbed his little sister in delight as soon as the band had walked off the stage after their gig, picking her up and spinning her around. Stevie giggled. "You were fantastic!"

"Thanks." She said as James set her down.

"She was good wasn't she? Now you just have convince her to sing lead for a song." Kasey wrapped her arm around Stevie's shoulders.

"No way." Stevie dead panned, taking Kasey's arm off her.

"Don't you remember when you were about five and you wanted to be a singer? You used to go around singing all the songs from _The Little Mermaid_." Leif smiled "you were so cute!"

"I was five. A lots changed since then." Even still, Stevie smiled.

Finn didn't skip a beat, adding to Stevie's current embarrassment "You made us watch all the Disney movies with you, remember? You knew every word of those songs- you know I was always impressed by that."

"Oh Steves! You never told me you liked Disney movies." Zander teased wrapping an arm around her.

"And you were never meant to find out." Stevie grumbled back.

"I could have told you she liked Disney!" Nelson flicked his hair off his face proudly.

"Tell me more!" Zander smirked at Stevie, "what other adorable things did you do as a kid?"

"You know her bedroom used to be pink?" Finn said, smirking at Stevie who looked ever so slightly pink- although Stevie chalked that up to the way Zander was rubbing circles on her waist with his thumb.

"Pink?" Zander looked in disbelief at Stevie.

"That was before I convinced Mum and Dad that I hated pink."

"Mum was so disappointed. All she wanted was a little girl to dress up and go shopping with." James smiled.

"I do remember the time you made all of us dress up as princesses and you were the knight in shining armour who came to save us." Ben smiled

"I was a good knight." Stevie grinned.

"That was so embarrassing!" Finn groaned.

"But I looked great in a dress." James reminded them.

"You're so vain!" Stevie punched him in the arm.

"Hurtful Stevasaurus!" James whined.

She punched him again. "Don't call me that."

"Stephie?" How about that?" James teased.

Stevie punched him "I _will_ punch you every time you call me one of those stupid nicknames." the words might have sounded angry but Stevie certainly wasn't. She knew she wasn't covering up the laughter well.

"I like Stephie!" Zander grinned cheekily.

"Of course you do." Stevie rolled her eyes.

"So Stephie-" Zander was cut off by Stevie punching him hard in the arm. "Oww! Must you hit the same spot every time? I have a permanent bruise on this arm!"

"I'll punch somewhere that will hurt more."

Zander looked nervous "Oh babe! Punch my arm whenever you like."

"I told you this morning not to call me babe."

"Miss Stephanie, I do apologise!"

Stevie fort to hide the blush and smile that was settling on her cheeks. Everyone noticed though and Zander gave a satisfied smile.

"Wait!" Kasey exclaimed, "Where did Stephanie come from?"

Stevie raised an eyebrow at her friend, "that's my name Kace."

Nelson put his hands over Stevie's ears, leaning over towards Kasey, "Don't call her that though, she'll get mad."

"I can still hear Nelly." Stevie took his hands good naturedly off her ears.

"Why does no one call you Stephanie?" Kasey asked.

Stevie took a step towards Kasey, "Because _I_ don't like being called Stephanie." The menacing tone in her voice made Kasey step back.

Zander pulled Stevie back towards him with both hands and locked his fingers together over her stomach. "Ok Steves. Deep breath." He breathed in her ear. Tingles shot up Stevie's spine.

"Do you remember the time you dressed up as a fairy for Halloween?" James asked with a cheeky grin.

"No." Stevie gritted her teeth. Was this really necessary?

"But you went all in all black and told everyone that you were the dark? And someone called you a fairy and you yelled at them and made them cry?"

"Nope." Stevie deadpanned, "Must have been one of your dreams Jamie."

James rolled his eyes and there were mutters from all four of her brothers, _'I remember that'_

"Like that time Kasey made you dress as an angel." Zander smiled

"Wow. How embarrassing that was." Stevie rolled her eyes sarcastically. "You really have the whole idea of this conversation down pat, don't you Z?"

Zander spun Stevie round to face him, she raised her eyebrows at him. "Do you want me to tell everyone about the time we went to the-"

Stevie covered Zanders mouth with her hand. "You swore you'd never talk about that!" Stevie hissed.

Zander licked her hand.

"EWWW! Zander!" Stevie shrieked as she wiped her hand down his shirt. Zander took the opportunity to pull her closer and kiss her.

Part of Stevie felt this was the most inappropriate time to do this, the other part of her wanted to make her brothers squirm. Besides, when had she ever actually been able to resist Zander kissing her?

Kasey grabbed hold of Stevie's hair, dragging her friend towards her and away from Zander.

"You two already had tonight's make out session." Kasey proclaimed loftly.

"I had no idea there was a limit on the amount of times I could kiss Stevie." Zander counted.

"There is only a limit on the amount of times you two can kiss in front of us."

"What other time tonight have we kissed?" Stevie asked indignantly, throwing her hands in the air.

"Um. Before we went on stage."

Stevie rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "We literally do that before every show. And besides it shouldn't even be classified as a kiss."

Stevie flexed her fingers. She felt sick. Today had been long and she _really _didn't want to keep being nice. "I'm going to the bathroom." She spun on her heels and stormed off.

Kasey bit her lip. "Why is she so moody tonight?" she frowned at Zander.

"I would guess it's because everyone's giving her a hard time." Zander crossed his arms.

"She was moody earlier too." Kasey pointed out.

"Look." Zander started, "Kasey-" he paused unsure of how to phrase this, "can you just lay off her for a while? She's just not… in the best place right now." Zander ran a hand through his hair.

"Why?" Kasey persisted.

"Just. Stop. Ok?" Zander commanded. "I'll go check on her."

"No." Kasey sighed, "I'll go."

Zander gave a curt nod. Should he trust Kasey to talk to Stevie?

"Stevie?" Kasey's voice sounded so small in the bathroom-even though the room wasn't much bigger than a cupboard.

"What." Stevie emerged from one of the stalls, she gave Kasey a stoney glance before washing her hands.

Kasey gulped, she honestly had no idea what to say. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Stevie ran her tongue round the inside of her mouth apprehensively.

"Everything?"

Stevie turned away from her, slowly drying her hands on the paper towel. "Don't worry about it."

Kasey frowned, "Don't worry about it? That's it?"

Stevie spun around, "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, give me some kind of explanation or something."

"I don't have an explanation to give you Kasey. And even if I did, I don't know what you want an explanation for."

Stevie ran her fingers through her hair, shaking it out gently.

"I don't know what to do anymore! I don't know how to act around you, I don't know what to say- I have no idea what you're dealing with that's making you so upset!"

Stevie pulled her cardigan sleeves further over her hands. "Just be normal." She responded finally, her voice quiet as she rubbed her palms together, her eyes focused on the loose thread she could see unravelling from her sleeve.

"I tried that. You just storm off."

"Well that's better than the alternative!" Stevie turned and placed her hands on the vanity counter, shutting her eyes tightly.

Kasey stood still. What was the alternative? Was Stevie going to cry? Kasey took a tentative step forward, putting her hand on her friends back and rubbing slow circles.

For a moment neither of them spoke. In one swift motion Stevie turned and wrapped her arms around Kasey, burring her head in Kasey's shoulder. Kasey was surprised but she responded quickly, holding on to Stevie tightly.

The hug ended suddenly as Stevie pulled away "Sorry." She took a step back. "We should, um, go."

Kasey opened her mouth and closed it immediately, she couldn't think of anything to say that would make Stevie feel less awkward. So she followed her friend out of the bathroom without another word.

"Leif." Stevie grabbed her brother's arm, standing on her toes to get closer to his ear, "you're taking Kasey, Kevin and Nelson home."

Leif looked confused, "why?"

"Because I say so." She let go of him.

There was no use in questioning her, Leif figured. Right now he needed to stay in her good books.

"Can we go now?" She whispered to Zander. Looking up at him with the puppy dog face she reserved specially for him.

"Where?" Zander asked.

"The park." Stevie responded, nuzzling closer to him.

"With Kasey, Kevin and Nelson?" He looked surprised.

"Leif will take them."

Zander nodded, had she really just manipulated everyone in to doing exactly what she wanted?

"Have you got everything?"

She nodded and then turned, walking off. Zander looked back to everyone "um..." He started.

But Stevie reappeared carrying her base. Zander looked somewhat shocked. Grabbing his little sisters arm Ben bent down and whispered, "No sex without safe sex."

Stevie frowned and hit his arm. "For your information Ben- not that I should tell you, Zander and I are going to the park."

"Ok." Ben muttered, "no matter how much you punch me I will still be the protective older brother."

Stevie felt a bit relieved. Ben was the one brother she wanted to be protective of her. She smiled at him "I know."

"When will you be home?" Leif asked almost sourly. To be frank, he didn't understand why Stevie was letting Ben be protective and say things like that and she wouldn't let him.

"I don't know. Sometime." Stevie was already pulling Zander away.

"Don't worry." Kasey finally spoke as soon as Stevie and Zander were out of hearing range, "Zander won't let anything bad happen to her."

"He better not." Leif growled.

Finn put a hand on Leif's shoulder, telling him to calm down.

"Are they always that... Touchy?" Finn said, making his voice as even as he could muster.

"That," Nelson put a finger in the air in a knowledgeable manner, "was almost no contact compared to how they usually are. And while it's clear Stevie enjoys seeing you all squirm, she also seems to feel awkward touching Zander while you are all here."

"How do you know that?" James asked in awe.

"You forget," Nelson took a step forward, "Kevin and I have known Stevie since we were five." He flicked his hair out of his face proudly, "We tend to have an idea what she is thinking."

"It's terrifying." Kasey put in.

"And I don't think they've ever stuck around this long after a gig." Kevin added.

"Maybe it would have been better if they hadn't stayed." Kasey muttered.

"What happened… in there?" Ben asked slowly, not wanting to intrude but feeling too curious not to.

"I actually don't know." Kasey shook her head. "Whatever's bothering her isn't just going to pass."

"No?" Finn frowned.

Kasey shook her head.

"Now what?" James looked perplexed.

Kasey shrugged. "We wait I guess."

"Correction." Nelson piped up, "We hope Zander fixes her tonight."

Kevin nodded in agreement. "Otherwise we have to stop her."

Kasey looked even more alarmed.

"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that." Nelson finished.

"Come to what?" Kasey quavered.

Kevin and Nelson exchanged a decisive look, "We can't say. We're not even supposed to know."

"How _do_ you know then?" Kasey crossed her arms and took a threatening step towards the two.

"It's not like it wasn't obvious." Kevin snorted

"To us." Nelson added. "We saw her every day, so…"

"I see her ever day!" Kasey exclaimed indignantly.

"Not then you didn't. You made our lives horrible then."

"So this is my fault?" Kasey was horrified.

"This time- we don't think so." Kevin patted her arm sweetly.

"Last time- only partially." Nelson explained.

"And us?" Ben wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"You're all a factor both times." Nelson answered harshly.

They were all silent.

"I'll take you home." Leif said finally, nodding at the three teenagers.

They all left without a word. Each one silently hoping that Zander would work some kind of magic on Stevie.

**So. Its been awhile... Side Effects ruined and writing ability I had for this chapter and then fixed it. I watched the last episode today and cried. I am simultaneously devastated and relieved that it's over. **

**This chapter turned out to be EXACTLY 3500 words. I thought that was a little strange. Any ways, like last time, if you have any ideas you would like to see incorporated in to the story, please send them to me (especially if their happy, I have trouble coming up with happy things to write.) and I will try to include them all!**

**Thank you to my lovely reviewers!**

**HTRobsessed: I know we already talked, but I'm going to respond to your reviews any way :). Firstly, Thank you! :). Secondly, Max Schneider does have an amazing voice- I could listen to his songs all day. But I think Zander could have a robot voice or something and Stevie would still find it attractive. I certainly have no plans for Stevie and Zander to get married, honestly, I think they would probably literally forget to get married. You know, they'd just keep going about their lives and it would never occur to them to get married. But I have an idea for something like you suggested. and I have an idea for the other idea, but I don't want to give anything away soooo...  
And yes, that is my account. While I was procrastinating from studying putting my drawings upon the internet and some how getting famous and making a living from it seemed like a really good idea. That didn't last AT ALL. But occasionally I have enough time to photograph the drawings and find a convenient spot to put my name.**

**Guest: Thank you! have you finished watching Side Effects? I've spent all day fangirling over it (silly me, I really need a life...). Lexi just cracks me up. I know its meant to be serious and everything, buttttt, her facial expressions...  
I LOVE Annie! It is one of my favourite musicals of all time. (I'm secretly hoping I'm still short enough to play Annie, but I'm to old.)  
I'll start on the story any time you like :) **

**Hopefully the next update will be quicker... (fingers crossed)**

**xxx Encantria 3**


	9. Stars

"I love stars. They're so pretty." It was the first thing Stevie had said since they'd left the club. They were lying in the middle of the park on the blanket Zander kept in the back of his truck especially for occasions like this. Stevie's head rested on Zanders chest and Zander was playing with Stevie's fingers, exploring them gently with his own.

Zander didn't say anything, he just gently sat up, moving her head so it was in his lap and leaned down and kissed her forehead. She smiled softly at him, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek. "I love you." She murmured, her thumb caressing his face ever so slightly.

Zander played with a strand of her hair, "Steves, do you want to come here to get _away_from everyone else, or to talk to me?"

"A bit of both"

He nodded, leaning down again to find her lips with his own. "You know," he pulled away slightly so he could whisper on to her lips "You look even more beautiful in the moon light."

Stevie pulled him back down, feverously kissing him with all the passion she could find.

It was a disjointed conversation, one that probably wouldn't lead anywhere productive. But one that neither of them would forget anytime soon.

Eventually they separated, Stevie panted faintly- something which Zander thought made her even more attractive. "Tell me about lunch."

Stevie looked over into the trees, an unreadable expression on her face. Finally she sat up, positioning herself in front of Zander. "There isn't much to tell. I talked about my life, they asked stupid questions, and I felt sick the entire time."

"Why did you feel sick?"

Stevie shrugged vaguely "The whole thing was so weird, I was so nervous."

"Would you say it was a success?"

"I don't know… In some ways maybe."

"What ways?"

"I feel like they have some idea what I've been doing now. And like they might talk to me at Christmas this year."

"I'd say that was a success then."

"Maybe. I felt so drained after though"

Zander nodded "I can tell."

Stevie flopped back down, her hair splaying out behind her head. "You know the stars that we see are actually so far away that the light takes so long to reach us the stars we see may not even be the stars that are up there at this very moment."

"Really?" Zander didn't move, he just sat quietly.

"So really by the time we see the stars they already know the future. Isn't that so cool?"

Zander nodded.

"Z?"

"Yer?"

"Where do you think we'd be right now if you had never asked me out?"

"Probably still here. If I hadn't asked you out I hope we'd still be best friends, and I'm sure that we'd probable be looking up at the stars right now simply because that's what we do."

Stevie bit her lip dreamily. The idea that nothing would have changed was nice. It was like proving that they were still best friend's _way_ before lovers.

In that moment Stevie felt like she was a little bit drunk (not that Stevie had ever actually been _drunk,_but Kasey did drag her to that party where the punch was spiked and afterwards she was defiantly tipsy) she felt kind of giggly and light headed.

She felt her body move before she had any time to contemplate where she was going, tugging on Zanders hand she giggled, "Come play on the swings with me Zander!" before taking off in the direction of the playground.

Zander watched her go in confusion. Another mood swing. Where had that even come from? He bundled up the blanket and ran after her, he could hear her giggling from the top of the pirate ship themed playground. He caught her sliding down the fireman's pole. She grinned and grabbed his hand dragging him to the swing set.

"I love swings! It feels like you can fly!"

Zander had to wonder when her giggling would stop. Would she end up in tears or just tired?

She was just tired. Stevie hugged him tightly after she got off the swing, looking up at him adoringly she said, "Thanks Zander." And nuzzled her head on his chest. Zander just smiled. He'd been doing a lot of that tonight, letting her talk about whatever came to her mind or poke him and burst in to uncontrollable giggles. It was the side of Stevie that didn't appear very often, the side that had made him love her when they'd first meet. Zander had no idea when that love of simply her company and friendship had turned into something more, not that it really mattered.

As they lay on the blanket later and after she'd dozed off, Zander had gently slid her sleeves up her wrists, and kissed the faint red lines softly, thanking all the stars above that she was safe.

**:) **

**ZevieFTW: I'm so glad you picked up on that. Stevie isn't cutting again... yet. I think Stevie believes she has to pretend to be strong all the time, and so while she may be _strong _she just needs to remember to take care of herself.**

**Zevielover17: I'm so glad you liked Stevies childhood, I had a lot of fun asking people for silly childhood stories to adapt into this. Don't worry I wont tell you the end of side effects, someone told me and I was pretty annoyed. I just love to obsess over episode 3. Everyone is plotting against Lexi and she has no idea. :)  
**

**HTRobsessed: Deep breath. This is for you :) I know its not long, but I couldn't drag this out, it would totally ruin it.**

**xxx 3 Encantria**


	10. Mini Golf

"So," Kasey said as she watched Stevie bound around the band room cleaning everything up, "what are we going to do on Wednesday night?"

The band often went out or had a movie night on Wednesdays, It was the only day that really fitted for all of them.

All three boys shrugged nonchalantly as they continued to focus on the game they were playing on the X-box. Kasey couldn't remember the name of it and frankly she didn't care.

Stevie didn't seem to have heard her, the brunette was currently organizing their rather large collection of CD's in alphabetical order. She had been doing strange things like that all day though, complimenting perfect strangers on their outfits or hair and happily organizing the band room. So far, Zander had made no comment on the matter, continuing on as if this was normal for Stevie- which it really wasn't.

"Stevie!" Kasey sing songed at her friend, Stevie whipped around and looked expectantly at Kasey.

"Yes?"

"Suggestions for Wednesday night?"

"Mini Golf." Stevie replied instantly, continuing to sort the CDs.

Zander paused the video game and frowned, "Mini golf?"

Stevie placed the current CD she was holding on the shelf and crossed her arms, "have any of you idiots come up with a better suggestion?" She raised her eyebrows and smirked, daring them to challenge her

"Mini golf it is!" Kasey exclaimed.

Stevie nodded, still smirking. She fitted the last group of CDs back on to the shelf and stood up, "I'm going to the library."

Zander jumped up after her and grabbed her wrist pulling her towards him, "Can I come?"

"I'm going to study Zander, not make out." She gave him a sweet smile as she turned away.

Zander dropped her wrist, a little disappointed. It took less than a second for Stevie to turn back to him and close the 3 feet between them. Though to everyone's surprise she only kissed him on the cheek.

"See you later." She turned, the black skirt she was wearing spinning out around her.

"Does anyone else think she is unnaturally perky?" Kasey asked with an air of annoyance after Stevie had left.

Zander crossed his arms and frowned, "I'd much rather she was happy than sad."

"But this is unnatural." Kasey persisted.

Kevin stepped between them, "can't we just leave her be for a bit?"

Kasey glared at him. "This is totally unfair! You all know what's happening! I don't. Maybe if someone would tell me something then I wouldn't have to go fishing for information!"

"On the contrary Kasey. None of us know what's wrong." Zander ran a hand through his hair.

Kasey cocked her head, confused. "You all seem pretty sure of what you know! Besides," she jabbed Zander pointedly in the chest, "you spend so much time with her! How can you not know?"

Zander sank down on to the back of the couch, "if I knew what the problem was then I would be trying everything I could to fix it."

"Well what do you know then? Cause they," Kasey pointed accusingly at Kevin and Nelson, who pulled horrified faces at her, "Hinted at something on Saturday. Something they 'weren't supposed to know'"

"What?" Zander looked at them curiously.

Nelson pulled awkward face and Kevin motioned jerkily to his wrists.

Zander bits his lip.

"What?" Kasey practically screeched.

"When I explain this to you," Zander started slowly, giving Kasey one of the tired but serious looks he'd been giving her a lot lately, "you breathe not a word of it to Stevie. If she finds out that anyone but me knows she'll freak out. And no one needs that right now."

Kasey gives a sharp nod, leaning in a little closer.

"Have you ever noticed something odd about Stevie's wrists Kasey?"

Kasey looks at him quizzically "no. She wears a lot of bracelets though."

"What about under the bracelets?"

Kasey looks even more lost and Kevin takes this opportunity to jump in, "there are marks on her wrists. _Cut _marks."

All three boys stare hard at her while she processes this information. "oh." Is all she can manage out.

* * *

Stevie spends the hour after band practice and before Mini Golf at Zanders.

"There's really not much point in me going home." she tells him matter of factly as they're driving to his house, absent mindedly she rubs her arms to try and warm them up.

It takes her about three seconds once they've walked in the front door to bound off to his bedroom. Zander finds snacks while he waits for her in the kitchen. She reappears clothed in one of his sweaters- the big red Christmas one to be exact. It was at least two sizes too big for Zander, so it's like a tent on Stevie. Zander smiles, it's pretty much become hers, the only reason for it still being here was Stevie's usual lack of any warm clothes when she arrived at his house.

She opens the bag of chips and looks at him expectantly while munching on one. "Well?" she asks, taking another handful.

"Well what?" Zander watches the chips disappear rapidly, didn't she already eat, like, half his lunch only a few hours ago?

"What are we going to do?" she dusts the orange powder off her hands and places them on her hips.

Zander blinks. She's never asked him what they were going to do before. Usually she just decided.

"We could, um. Write a new song? Or watch TV? Or-" he takes a step towards her, sliding one arm around her waist, "we could make out."

Stevie doesn't look impressed. "Zander!" she whines, stomping her foot like an angry child. "Can't we do something fun?"

Zander frowns. Making out is fun. She's never turned him down before- it stings a little. "What do you classify as fun?"

She doesn't have an answer. So they watch TV. She's in a pretty good mood, so everything suddenly becomes funny. Zanders not sure what they're laughing at by the time he realizes its five thirty, but it continues to be funny even as they arrive at the miniature golf course- late of course, and neither of them can get enough words out through their uncontrollable laughing to explain anyway.

Kasey leans over and mutters something about how they're 'so weird!' to her date, Dean Hollis, who just smiles awkwardly.

Zander remembers something about Kasey saying that Dean wanted to 'get to know them all better' last week. But Zander honestly wasn't really listening so he doesn't know why Mini Golf was an appropriate time for the bonding to happen. He's not even really sure when Kasey and Dean started dating again, did they really ever stop? Mentally, he made a note to ask Stevie later- She would talk about that sort of stuff with Kasey right?

"Are you good at mini golf?" Zander asks Stevie as they're waiting in the line to pay the entry fee.

She snorts, "No. I'm terrible."

"Why did you want to come then?" he asks curiously.

"Cause its fun." She replies, the cuffs of his sweater (or is it hers?) balled up in her hands so her fingers were no longer visible. "I used to come here as a kid all the time when my cousins came over. I _always _lost, but it's still really fun." She smiles happily at him and Zander takes the opportunity to wrap an arm round her waist and kiss her cheek. Stevie lays her head on his shoulder for a moment before they move ahead in line.

"Could you two stop being so cute?" Kasey's high pitched voice rung through the sweetness of the moment, Stevie rolled her eyes at her friend.

"We could be making out right now Kace." She reminds her friend good naturedly.

"God no!" Kasey groans.

_Sometimes, _Zander thinks, _Kasey's voice was so annoying. And she had an annoying habit of cutting of all the _really _nice moments he and Stevie had short._

Stevie's fingers have emerged enough from the sweater to grip Zanders. He pays for both of them without a second thought- She doesn't resist.

Once the six of them are assembled at the beginning of the course- each with a different colored ball and stick, Kasey looks pointedly at Stevie. "Any particular way you want to play this?"

Stevie raises an eyebrow at her. "There is only one way to play. You hit the ball in to the hole in as few hits as possible."

Kasey raises her arms as if she was surrendering. "You'd better go first, Stevie, this was your idea after all."

"I'm really bad." Stevie says it as if this will change Kasey's reasoning on the subject.

"So?" Kasey shrugs.

Stevie deliberates for a second on whether she should convince someone else to go first, but Kevin was helping Nelson measure the angles of the course with a protractor and it wouldn't have been very polite to push Dean to start. That left Kasey and Zander and both of them were looking at her expectantly. So Stevie put the light blue ball on the white mark and concentrated very hard on the hole.

The ball rolled about a foot to the right of the hole. Stevie crossed her arms and glared at it. "Stupid ball." She muttered, flouncing back to Zander, positioning herself in front of him so he could wrap his arms around her.

Kasey motioned for Dean to go next. Much to Stevie's annoyance, he got a hole in one. As did Kasey. And Zander.

"So according to my measurements," Nelson started when it was his turn, "If I hit the ball with a 90° angel and a speed of-"

"Just go Nelly." Stevie exclaimed, cutting off his monologue from her position in Zanders arms.

Nelson flicked his hair from his face indignantly and hit the ball effortlessly into the hole.

Kevin was last and to Stevie's relief he came about 2 inches short of the hole. So that only left the two of them to finish.

Kevin got the ball in on his next hit, but it took Stevie two more tries to get it into the hole.

She pouted pitifully at Zander, who laughed and kissed her nose while no one was looking.

The next few holes ended in much the same way, Nelson would measure the whole thing, Stevie would miss dreadfully, and everyone else would get somewhere close to parr.

Eventually Zander took a step forward as Stevie was concentrating hard on her ball, holding the club tightly and sticking her tongue out for good measure, grasping her hand lightly he spun her around. "Can I help you?" he asked sweetly.

She nodded, loving the feeling she got as Zanders arms snaked round her waist to adjust her grip on the club.

"Ok," his mouth was next to her ear and his breath was sending shivers down her spine. "See the hole?"

She nodded.

"You have to miss the sand and hit that wall to get it in, so hit on an angle."

Stevie licked her lips and concentrated on where Zander was pointing. He angled her a bit and for a moment he just sort of stood there till Nelson exclaimed loudly, "the angles are all screwed up on this one!" as he tutted at the small plastic protractor in his hand and Kevin nodded in agreement.

Zander and Stevie both jumped a bit and he took a step back, "and now you just… hit it."

Stevie took a deep breath and attempted to shake the fog that had clouded her brain.

As she watched the ball roll towards the hole, Stevie was worried that she hadn't hit it hard enough. But it fell into the hole with a satisfying _'plop'._

Stevie let out a shriek and dropped her club, turning and jumping at Zander like an excited puppy "It went in! ZANDER! It went in!"

Zander nodded and catching her round the waist, he steadied her bouncing.

Stevie threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I've never got a hole-in-one before!"

Nelson and Kevin shared a smile over Stevie's excitement, they'd watched the whole scene unfold, and the sappiness of the whole thing was over ruled by the smile and general delight Stevie was omitting.

Even the stares from strangers didn't deter Stevie's total bliss as the others had their turns. She would never know though, if her friends had all deliberately not got holes-in-one or if it was just luck that she had and they hadn't. None the less, it gave her a lot more confidence for the next hole, Zander only gave her a few pointers, and while she didn't get a hole-in-one, she did get it in only two strokes.

"I never knew Stevie was this excitable…" Dean commented quietly to Kasey as they watched Stevie help Kevin and Nelson do all their measurements for the next hole.

"She's not generally this excited." Kasey lined up her club with the ball. "She just really loves mini golf."

Dean gave a slow awkward nod, over the time that he had been dating Kasey- which from the time they had been on their first date till now, not excluding all the times they had dated other people, was about a year and a half- he had gotten to know the members of Gravity 5 reasonably well. Usually, Stevie was the one calming everyone else down and trying to keep everyone safe, though Dean had to admit that he had noticed that Stevie hadn't been acting… normal lately. It wasn't like most of the school hadn't noticed, Gravity 5's lunch table had been unusually quiet and there wasn't the usual sound of Zander walking to class strumming his ukulele. But it seemed to him that this was confirmation that everything was alright.

Stevie had more and more trouble with the holes as they got harder, after every hit she would turn back to Zander with a frown- not that it tended to last long.

Finally Zander stood behind her again and attempted to explain exactly what to do as she hit the ball.

"Wow. Could you two be any closer together at this point?" Kasey called to the pair.

"Hush Kasey! I'm concentrating!" Stevie responded, waving her hand vaguely in the direction of Kasey's voice as she looked where Zander was pointing.

Stevie got the ball in the hole in four shots, while Zander, Kasey and Dean had got it in in three, Nelson in two and Kevin tying with Stevie. She grinned happily as Zander recorded the scores on their group score card, "Look Z, I've gotten it on par twice!" she pointed at the numbers giddily, bouncing lightly on the tips of her toes.

Zander laughed, compared to everyone else, Stevie was doing terribly. With the exception of Kevin, who tried to follow Nelsons instructions on angle and velocity and failed miserably, everyone else was getting most of the holes on par. But this face didn't deter Stevie from her endless excitement every time she managed to get the ball in the hole in less than eight strokes.

At the end Stevie took a picture of the score card proudly, telling everyone that 'this was the best night ever!' Everyone had to agree that it had been pretty fun, even though they had been given strange looks by everyone else who was there- especially by the families with small children who clearly couldn't understand why a group of teenagers would want to go Mini Golfing.

"Food?" Kevin asked them all once they had returned their clubs.

Stevie nodded furiously, "Ice cream!"

"We haven't even had dinner Steves, wouldn't you rather have dinner _then_ ice cream?" Zander questioned lightly.

"No!" she exclaimed, "what normal person wouldn't want ice cream first?"

"I want a hamburger." Nelson put in, unhelpfully as he and Kevin battled _Furious Pigeons_.

"What about that diner a few blocks away? Doesn't that have hamburgers and an ice cream sunday bar?" Kasey suggested sensibly.

"Perfect." Zander agreed. It took him a moment to uncurl Stevie's fingers enough from the inside of the cuff of her sweater so he could hold her hand, while Stevie giggled and attempted to make it harder for him.

Kasey rolled her eyes at them. "Do you two have any sense of personal space? Or the ability to spend time apart?"

Stevie put on a mock confused face and looked from Kasey to Zander and back again, "we can be apart?"

Kevin and Nelson looked up from their games, "nailed it!" They both agreed, putting their hands out to high five Stevie.

Zander listened to Stevie talk animatedly to Kevin and Nelson all the way to the diner, he zoned out after "remember in fifth grade…" but he liked the way Stevie waved her free hand around excitedly and the way Kevin and Nelson would practically shriek in agreement.

As they looked at the menu in the diner, Stevie pointed out everything she thought looked nice to eat (which was almost everything) and Zander nodded along.

"Well, well, well." All six of them whipped around to find Molly and Grace, both clad head to toe in purple, standing at the edge of their table. "Look what the cat dragged in." Molly gave them a patronizing smirk.

Stevie ran her tongue around her front teeth and stood up, giving Molly a stony glare. Zander tugged her arm slightly "Stevie…"

She gave him an annoyed look and pulled her arm away from his grip.

"Look _Molly_." She stepped away from her chair and crossed her arms. "Just because we are in the same restaurant doesn't mean that you have to come and…" She paused, clearly having stopped herself from saying something rude. "Be so mean." She finished.

"I don't have to, but I do." Molly gave a satisfied smirk.

Stevie frowned, "Why do you hate us so much?"

Molly looked uncertain and Stevie continued, "Even better question, why do you hate me? I never did anything to you! You've been mean to me since elementary school."

Molly shifted her weight from one foot to the other, "I don't… _hate _you."

"Really?" Stevie raised her eyebrows, "Could've fooled me."

Molly let out a huffy breath, "you've always just been so… Perfect."

Stevie snorted loudly "Perfect? I'm anything but perfect."

Molly gave a childish stomp of her foot and glared at Stevie, "You never cared what anyone thought of you, you were so loyal to your friends, you get perfect grades, you have the boy that half the school is crushing on practically wrapped around your finger, the whole school respects you and you manage to dress in an effortlessly casual way that actually looks good." It all came out fast and in a jumble, not at all the cool and calm response Molly had had planned in her head.

Stevie stared at Molly for a moment, digesting the information she had just been given. Her response was much slower and more ordered than Molly's, "Firstly, thank you, no one ever compliments me on my fashion sense. Second I don't have perfect grades. What good grades I do have I work _really_ hard to achieve." Stevie tugged a tendril of hair behind her ear and chewed her lip with an air of insecurity surrounding her next sentence, "Everyone in school respects you, Molly. I'm just the girl they hate because I'm dating Zander."

Molly shook her head, "Everyone thinks you're cool. The football team won't go anywhere near these two nerds," she gestured to Kevin and Nelson, "Because they're afraid you'll beat them up."

"Really?" all uncertainty gone, Stevie grinned and twirled a piece of hair around her fingers.

Molly nodded.

Stevie gave an evil smile, Zander jumped up and grabbed her wrists "No." he told her. "You can't do that."

She pouted "Why?"

"Because that's not nice."

Molly turned to the rest of the group at the table and looked confused, "They read each other's minds?"

"Pretty much." Kasey shrugged.

"Butttt _Zander!_" Stevie whined.

Zander laughed, he leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. Stevie giggled and nodded before pulling one hand out of his grip and holding her pinky up, "Pinky promise?" She gave him a wide eyed innocent look.

Such things may have become uncool in fifth grade, but that had never stopped Stevie from making Zander promise her everything like this.

He took her pinky in his, "Promise." He agreed before kissing her nose.

"Augh!" Kasey exclaimed, "What is with you two and being cute today?"

Stevie looked over at her friend with a hurt look, "We're not cute every day?"

"Well." Nelson sounded like he was making a very in-depth scientific analysis, "usually you make out all the time. Today you haven't made out once."

"Not in front of you anyway." Zander muttered.

Stevie rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Were you daydreaming or something? Because I don't recall having any sort of serious make out session with you today."

Zander glared at her, "and whose fault was that?"

Stevie smirked, "It's good to know you're so upset about that."

"See!" Molly exclaimed indignantly, "you practically control him!"

To everyone's shock Zander nodded and pulled Stevie close, "only she may do that."

Stevie attempted to hide her blush by finishing her rebuttal to Molly's earlier comments "Anyway. Molly you practically control the whole school and you're pretty loyal to Grace. Couldn't we just put this stupid war behind us? I'm so _over _fighting with you."

"I guess."

Stevie blinked. Had Molly just agreed to stop being mean to her?

Molly bit her lip and gave Stevie an earnest look, "Like I said that time you were a Perf, I've always wanted to be friends with you. I guess now is as good time as ever."

Stevie still looked a bit taken back, "for the record, Molly, I've always admired your sense of style. And how close you and Grace are. It's a special bond, knowing someone for as long as you two have and being best friends."

Molly looked at Grace with a small smile, "It is."

Grace however, was twirling a piece of hair around her fingers and staring dreamily at Nelson, who was staring equally as dreamily back.

Stevie let out a huffy breath, "Oh for god's sake!" She walked round to Nelson and tugged him up, "come Nelly." She commanded dragging him to Grace.

Nelson waved awkwardly at the blonde in front of him, "Hi Grace."

"Hi." Grace responded with a breathy giggle.

Stevie pushed her tongue against her cheek, "Don't you two ever get tired of staring at each other and not acting on the big crushes you have on each other?"

Nelson looked down at his feet and Grace inspected a tendril of hair.

"Wouldn't you rather know that you gave this a try instead of always wondering what would have happened if you had?" she crossed her arms and looked from one to the other impatiently.

Neither looked at her or each other.

"FINE!" Stevie huffed, she started to push their heads together before Zander jumped forward and pulled her back.

But the desired effect was already occurring as he grasped her hands, keeping them away from doing any more meddling.

The Kiss was short and sweet, but it left both Nelson and Grace with the certainty of what they wanted.

Molly pushed the two of them away, "shoo." She told them- almost gently, "go… talk or something." They didn't take much convincing.

Satisfied, Stevie sat down again with Zander close behind her. Molly stood awkwardly for a moment before Kevin pushed Nelsons empty chair out, "I don't think Nelsons going to be needing this for a while."

Molly sat down with a look of relief, "Thanks Kevin." She smiled. Stevie had never seen Molly smile so genuinely at anyone but Grace, and in truth, it kind of freaked her out a little.

Molly was very polite for the remainder of dinner, helping Nelson and Grace find chairs so they could sit down and even complimenting Stevie on her 'unusual' sweater. Stevie had grinned happily and announced to everyone that it was Zanders.

As soon as she had finished her meal Stevie was tapping on Zanders arm, "Ice cream now." She informed him with a bright smile.

Zander nodded, "go and start looking, I'll catch up in a sec."

Stevie kissed his cheek and bounded over to the Ice cream bar.

"She is way too obsessed with Ice cream." Kasey said with a good natured laugh. After most gigs Stevie requested that they go for ice cream, and the only snack she ever wanted was ice cream.

"She likes Ice cream." Kevin added obviously.

"What Kevin means," Nelson pushed the hair off his face importantly, "Is that Stevie's always liked ice cream. She used to spend all her allowance on it when we were kids."

* * *

Zander dropped his very sleepy girlfriend home an hour later. Leading her by the hand up to her door step he pulled her into a tight hug. He liked how long her hair had gotten, it curled neatly half way down her back, her blond highlights having faded to the ends leaving the top of her head dark. She had tucked her head in to the crook of his neck giving him the perfect opportunity to play with her hair. She sighed contentedly at his touch and after a moment looked up at him, "Thanks for helping me tonight Z."

He looked at her quizzically, "I'll always help you."

She nodded, "I know, but I want you to know how much I appreciate it."

He kissed her slowly, the long evening leaving them a bit sloppy, but Zander still loved the way It made him feel so light.

"Night." She whispered as she pulled away, opening her door with a quick push before looking over her shoulder at him with what Zander had to describe as an almost _seductive_ smile.

* * *

**Soooooo... this chapters not exactly short. Or on time. But its here. **

**Thank you HTRobsessed for showing me one of the saddest stories I've ever read and making me want to make this chapter as happy as possible to counteract that.**

**ZevieFTW: this chapters a little longer so it kinda balances out the shortness of the last one. I feel better knowing Stevie is ok to, as much as I love sad chapters I always feel bad for all the terrible things I do to Stevie, so I'm going to give her a few happy things to reminisce over.**

**Zevielover17: I'm glad you liked it :) Stevie wasn't actually drunk, she just felt drunk (I don't think Zander would have let her drink.) Zander will follow Stevie around no matter what (at least in my head anyway), and they will always be able to talk to each other :)  
I'm obsessed with her voice too (should we be referring to her as Lexi or Lulu in this context? idk), It's such a shame that HTR didnt get a second season where she sung :(.  
I'm about to message you about the story, so sit tight :)**

**HTRobsessed: No you hadn't reviewed this chapter until then. The poetry was certainly unique :) I hope you enjoyed this :)**

**So, send me happy things that Stevie can do while I wait for enough time to have pasted during the story to resolve Stevies issues.**

**Its about to storm here right now (I think, the sky's gone the colour of the dark gray paint no one wants to use in primary school) and I FREAKING LOVE RAIN! and I always get plenty of inspiration to write when it rains, so maybe they'll be another chapter up tomorrow :)**

**xxx 3  
Encantria**


	11. Princess

"Why do you have so many pens, Zander?" Stevie asked as she played with the large tin the pens were packed into.

Zander looked up from tuning his ukulele and gave her a funny look, "I don't know." He shrugged. "What are we going to write our song about?"

Stevie ignored his question, "How do you know they all work?"

"I don't know… Stevie-"

She held a pen up at him, "This one's broken."

"So?" Zander put his ukulele down on his bed, a bit frustrated.

"Why keep it if it's broken?" Stevie persisted, not seeming to understand how annoying she was being.

"I don't know Stevie!" Zander sighed, running a hand edgily through his hair.

"Look, this one's broken to!" Stevie exclaimed, as she started to stack the pens in sections on her boyfriend's desk.

Zander sighed and picked up his ukulele, even if Stevie wasn't going to be a very active participant of this song writing session, Zander certainly was.

So a while there was only sounds of Zander strumming quietly on his ukulele and Stevie clicking pens and scribbling on a piece of paper to test them. Eventually she picked all the broken pens up and disappeared down the hall to find a rubbish bin. Zander flopped on his bed tiredly. She seemed to _want _to be difficult today. He stood up slowly and stretched, feeling pretty frustrated.

He could hear her coming back down the hall, her sock covered feet making gentle sapping sounds against the wood floor. He stood next to the door, waiting for it to open. When it did, he caught her round the waist and pulled her backwards on to the bed before planting a kiss on her cheek.

_"__Maybe I think you're cute and funny,  
Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, if you know what I mean."_ Zander sang to her, softly, strumming the chords on his ukulele.

Stevie giggled and pulled him down on to her. Zander didn't complain. Though, in between kisses he managed to keep singing, _"Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France."_

Stevie smiled at him. "You're adorable." She muttered as she traced the line of his jaw with her finger.  
_"Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to danc_e." Zander continued.

He didn't get any further though, because Stevie saw that moment as perfect to attack him and not let go.

Eventually he pulled away, breathing hard. "You're nuts." He informed her.

Stevie giggled in response.

"Song writing now?" he asked.

Stevie frowned.

"Steves, why don't you want to write a song?" Zander asked quietly.

"I just don't really feel like it." She muttered, tugging on a long strand of hair and looking anywhere but at him, that was very hard however, as he was on top of her.

"What do you want to do?" he asked, slowly sitting up.

She shrugged. "I don't mind making out."

"Yesterday you told me making out wasn't fun, and now you think it is?"

"Zander, you know why I didn't want to." She crawled over to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

He sighed, "I guess."

For a moment neither said anything. Zander played with Stevie's hair absentmindedly and Stevie tried to enjoy the moment, knowing she couldn't keep pretending that this was ok forever.

"What about we go out?" Zander asked quietly.

Stevie nodded, "where?"

"Will you let me pick?" Zander murmured.

"Yes." Stevie snuggled closer to him.

20 minutes later the pair were in Zanders truck making their way into the city. Stevie didn't ask where they were going and Zander didn't tell her.

He put the playlist _'Stevie' _on for the journey, loving how excited she got over every song. '

"OH ZANDER! I love this song!" she slapped his arm gently in excitement every time and they both sung along to every song at the top of their lungs, turning to each other to sing some lyrics while doing the actions that had become ingrained after so long.

Zander pulled up put side a thrift store, "Let's have some fun!" he took her hand gently in his own and led her into the store.

They both snickered hysterically at each outfit they came out in, putting on accents and creating strange characters. Eventually Zander started finding multitudes of dresses for Stevie to try on, smiling at her every time as she good-naturedly put them on and twirled for him.

"You know," Zander was leaning up against the wall in between the dressing rooms, watching Stevie delightedly twirl around in I fluffy pink dress. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were actually enjoying this."

She picked the soft cape-like piece of material up and draped it over his face. "I may as well enjoy looking silly while it's only you and me." She pointed out with a smirk.

Zander nodded in agreement and held out a white dress. "Try this one on?"

"Last one." She agreed with a smirk.

The white dress turned out to be floor length and strapless with funny flowing things that attached to her wrists. Stevie frowned at it and stalked out to comment on it to her boyfriend. "Zander! This dress is weird."

"I think you look like a princess Steves."

"You're sweet."

"Seriously." Zander took Stevie's hand and spun her around, "a fairy princess."

She smiled, "I like that you have such a high opinion of me."

"I like that you'll put on a dress for me." Zander pulled her closer and gave her a quick kiss before dipping her backwards. Stevie let out a shocked high pitched giggle and griped his neck tightly.

"I like this dress on you Steviekins. If I give you a tiara will you wear it on a date sometime?"

She raised her eyebrows at him, "What are you going to take me to? A castle?"

"So, if I plan a magical date you'll wear it?"

"I'll think about it."

"Pretty please?"

"_Pretty please_ Zander? That's so childish."

"Says the girl who makes every promise with her pinky."

"Touché."

"So you will?"

Stevie rolled her eyes at him, "_fine!_"

Zander grinned, kissed her nose and pulled her upright. "Change. We have places to be."

"Where?" Stevie asked, looking amused.

"I'm in charge of today, remember?" Zander teased, pushing her back into the dressing room.

He took her to get ice cream. "I found this place a few weeks ago and I've been waiting for the perfect time to take you." He told her as they entered the shop.

She could see why he wanted to bring her here, the shop boasted having 37 different ice cream flavors and had bumble bees painted all over the walls.

"This is so cute!" Stevie smiled, bouncing over to the ice cream.

A middle aged lady with a kind smile and graying hair smiled at the pair, "Welcome to Rosie's ice creamery! I'm Rosie."

"I'm Stevie." She responded without a second thought. "This is Zander. He promised me a fun day, but I think this goes above and beyond fun."

"Stevie." Rosie smiled. "That's an unusual name. But it's very pretty."

Stevie grinned, "Do you really have 37 different flavors of ice cream?"

"Of course!" Rosie nodded, "I don't lie, my dear, I only sell delicious ice cream."

Stevie walked along the glass slowly, reading each ice cream flavor under her breath.

"I guess business is a little slow at this time of year." Zander commented, eyeing his girlfriend, whose level of consciousness only extended to ice cream at this moment.

"Slower, but I still have my regulars." Rosie responded. "She likes ice cream?"

"She LOVES ice cream." Zander verified.

"Can I have all of them?" Stevie asked Zander with an adorable look of excitement.

"You can't have _all _of them Steves, you'll make yourself sick."

She pouted at him.

"We can come back though."

Stevie nodded. "Can I have the strawberry chocolate cheese cake please?" Stevie asked Rosie brightly.

After Zander had ordered his buttercream ice cream, they sat at a table and Zander showed her every funny picture he could think of.

Stevie gave him a kiss as he dropped her home and told him that it was "the best song writing session ever!"

Zander grinned, "I'm planning that fairytale date, princess. So get ready to be royalty!"

* * *

**At the constant badgering of HTRobsessed, I wrote this one fast. This is the last _really _happy chapter for a while. So sit tight as I tear Stevie apart! But in all seriousness, I hope you enjoyed the Zevie fluff. And an explanation of Stevies VERY OC behaviour will come.**

**:) 3**


	12. It Could be different

Boredom had gripped Stevie about half an hour ago. In the back seat of Zanders truck, Kevin and Nelson were having some sort of a conversation about furious pigeons. Kasey, who was sitting behind Stevie, occasionally made some snide comment about how ridiculous they were. Stevie had tried to talk to them at first, but now she couldn't be bothered. She was _so _tired. Zander hadn't said much the entire time they'd been driving, Stevie could have said he was focusing on the road, but it never usually took this much concentration for him to drive.

Stevie had propped her chin on her hand long ago, trying to find something interesting outside to look at. There wasn't anything. The radio was turned down low, but Stevie could still hear the faint music. It was almost soothing.

She felt something touch her other hand and jumped. It was only Zanders fingers brushing against her own, he smiled, running his fingers over hers.

"Ok?" he asked gently, just loud enough for her to hear.

She nodded, "I'm tired though."

"I know."

She didn't ask how he knew. Usually, she could read him as well as he could read her. Maybe it was how tired she was that was stopping her from knowing what he was feeling today- at least that was what she hoped it was.

"Why don't you try to sleep now? We're at least an hour away still." Zander suggested.

Stevie bit her lip, looking down at his hand over hers, he was still absentmindedly tracing the lines of her fingers.

"Really?"

He nodded. "You're gonna need all the energy you can get for tonight."

He was right, of course. He was always right. Stevie sighed, "Alright."

"Here." Kasey pushed something at Stevie. She turned and looked at Kasey, confused. "I'm not cold, so you may as well use my Jacket as a pillow."

Stevie took it slowly, "Thanks Kase."

Kasey smiled at her friend, knowing that she'd done the right thing.

For a while everyone was silent, Kevin and Nelson had stopped talking as Stevie fell asleep and Kasey had been watching her friends quietly. They had exchanged a glance and then fallen silent, as if there was some unspoken agreement still standing from a long time ago.

Finally Kasey leaned forward, trying to get as close to Zander as possible, "Is she asleep?"

Zander nodded.

"How do you know?" Kasey insisted.

Zander gave her a weird look, "because she is." He responded flatly.

"But how do you know?"

Zander glared at her, "she's my girlfriend Kasey. She falls asleep on me all the time. I know when she's asleep. And I know when she's faking. And right now she's asleep."

"Alright." Kasey replied defensively. "Is she ok?"

"She's just tired." Zander sighed.

"Cause she's been very strange this week." Kasey told him, as if Zander didn't know.

Zander didn't say anything.

Kasey crossed her arms. "I'm worried! Why won't anyone tell me anything? Just because I haven't known her well my whole life, or have the whole soulmates thing going on, doesn't mean I don't care and I don't want what's best for her!"

"Stevie's been relatively normal this week." Nelson pointed out. "Compared to… other times."

"This is what I mean!" Kasey complained. "You all have a special bond with her and… I don't."

Zander has to admit that he does feel a little bad for Kasey. She really had no idea what they were up against. "On the contrary Kasey. Stevie thinks extremely highly of you. You are her only female friend. And she considers you extremely important."

"Why won't she tell me anything then?" Kasey asked quietly, looking helplessly at the three boys.

"Kasey. We told you, she won't tell us anything either. What we know we tend to guess." Kevin stated gently.

Kasey sucked her cheeks in nervously, "So what do you know?"

"Nothing other than what we told you." Nelson insists.

Kasey pouts.

"Look. Guys." Zander says quietly, "Can we not do this while she's right there?"

"True." Nelson states, "Stevie may hear us, after all she is STEVIE, and who knows what she's capable of right?"

Zanders tempted to face palm, but he has to keep his eyes on the road, so he just shakes his head.

There's more silence, they all need all the energy they can get for their gig.

Kasey _knows _Stevie's been acting weird, even if her friends tell her that Stevie's not. There's been the peculiar mood swings (that no one but her seems to notice- or they pretend not to notice), Stevie's lack of appetite and the phone call to her brother.

_"__Aren't you going to answer that?" Zander asked, pointing to Stevie's phone, which was buzzing in her hand._

_Stevie swallowed, staring at the phone as if it was poison, she licked her lips, "It's my brother." Stevie whispered, and then a little louder, "It's James." She turned her phone around, showing them the picture accompanying his name. A laughing, much younger Stevie was being hugged by James who was looking down at her with a big smile. _

_"__Answer it!" Zander insisted._

_Stevie gulped and with a shaking finger, pressed answer. "Hi James!" Her voice instantly changed from terrified, to very confidant and nonchalant._

_"__Stevie!" they could all hear his voice through the speaker, slightly tinny but still audible. "How are you baby-girl?"_

_Stevie's eyes widen in shock, but it was only momentary, before she's back to total calm. "I'm good! How are you?"_

_James replies fast, in a jumble of words, "Good, but Steves, I've got really exciting news for you!"_

_"__Really?" Stevie tugs at a bit of hair._

_"__You know how I was telling you last week how you guys are really popular here?" James voice is fast, and it's hard to pick up some of the words he says._

_"__Yes…" Stevie looks apprehensive, Kasey thinks, like she's not sure if she want to know what he's about to say._

_"__And I was telling you about the Friday night concerts we have?" James doesn't even wait for a response, he just continues, "YOU GOT THE GIG STEVES!" _

_There's a moment where Stevie looks like she's processing the information before she lets out a shriek. "REALLY! OH MY GOD JAMES! YOU'RE AMAZING!"_

_"__Anything for you Steves." James responds, It's hard for Kasey to totally pick up on his tone of voice, but she thinks it's gone softer, like he couldn't think of anything better right now than making his little sister smile._

_And, oh, Stevie does smile. Kasey would almost describe it as a beam, her smile is so big. For the next few minutes Stevie and James have an animated discussion on hotels and times before saying goodbye and hanging up._

_"__We've got a gig at James' collage." Stevie says, as if it's no big deal._

_Pretending they hadn't just been listening to the phone conversation, Kasey shrieks with delight, Kevin and Nelson discuss which furious pigeon's games they should take and Zander pulls Stevie into a heated kiss._

_They have exactly a week's preparation time. Playing a collage with as many students as James' is a huge deal for them. The amount of exposure they'll get from a half hour set is huge. _

_It's clear to Kasey that Stevie's not as excited about this as she'd like everyone to believe, but Kasey plays along with Stevie simply because she doesn't know what else to do._

Their arrival at the collage pulls Kasey back to reality, it's almost six-thirty and they start at eight-fifteen. An hour and forty five minutes to set up and warm up, that should be enough, right?

Zander wakes Stevie up gently, kissing her cheek and rubbing circles on her palms with his thumbs.

Kasey can't help but feel a little jealous, as fantastic as Dean may be, he never looked at her the way Zander looked at Stevie. Zander looked at Stevie like she was the only person in the world who _really _mattered, like even though he was tired from school and driving, he still put every last ounce of his energy in to making Stevie feel good.

Stevie's hazel eyes fluttered open, she smiled at him. "Z." She whispered.

"Hey sweetie. We're here." Zander kisses her cheek again and Stevie sits up a bit.

"How long was I asleep for?" she asks with a yawn.

"About an hour. Feel better?" Zander takes her other hand to, holding them both gently. Stevie nodded, leaned forward, and kissed him on the lips.

Mentally, Kasey '_awwww'_ed.

When James appeared five minutes later, grinning like an idiot, he picked Stevie up in a tight hug and spun her around before gently placing her back down in front of him. "I'm so glad you're here!" he exclaimed with a grin. "And tomorrow I have so many things I want to show you!"

James takes them to the 'courtyard', though this courtyard is at least one hundred times the size of their school courtyard. He introduces them to the stage manager, who smiles at James flirtily, "When you said your little sister was part of Gravity 5 I really wasn't sure I believed you. But here she is, and I can see the resemblance."

James nods and looks at Stevie, "She's my favorite little Sister!"

"I'd better be! Who else could you pick?" Stevie retorts playfully.

By the time the sound check is over it's almost seven-forty-five, James disappears to find his friends, promising Stevie with a hug that he'll be at the front of the crowd cheering her on.

Kasey wishes that someone would come specially to cheer her on.

They change into their concert clothes, and to Kasey's amazement, Stevie lets Kasey do her hair and make-up.

The crowd makes a loud din outside the stage area and Kasey feels slightly nervous. This is a much bigger crowd than they've ever performed for before.

* * *

"Night" Stevie tells Zander with a giggle after their make out session _finally_ finishes. She stands dreamily resting on the door post and watches Zander disappear down the hall into his room.

The collage provided accommodation to guest performer's speakers and others like them. The rooms weren't big, or fancy, but they had beds and ensuite bathrooms, and right now that was all Kasey needed.

The stage manager had estimated at least five-thousand people at the concert, a lot of them had picnic rugs and were cuddled up with their friends. None the less, they had gotten a standing ovation and whistles when Kasey had introduced the band.

Stevie closed the door slowly, the dreamy smile still playing on her lips and flopped down on her bed.

Kasey gave Stevie a nudge, "shove over." She told her friend good-naturedly.

Stevie did, turning a little to Kasey, "that was amazing!" she grinned.

"I know!" Kasey squealed, "The crowd was so enthusiastic!"

"If that was five-thousand people, imagine how cool it will be to play in front of ten-thousand!" Stevie giggled.

They lay for a while staring at the ceiling, reliving the glorious time on stage.

"Stevie?" Kasey asked quietly, rolling over on to her side so she was facing her friend.

"Mmm?" Stevie responded vaguely.

"Are you ok?" Kasey almost regretted the question as it came out of her mouth, and she did regret it when Stevie didn't respond.

Finally, Stevie nodded. "I think so." Stevie didn't have to ask what Kasey had meant. It briefly occurred to her that she clearly wasn't doing a very good job of hiding her issues, but she didn't dwell on that.

"Kase?" she whispered a moment later, Stevie sat up, "Why do you hate it when Zander and I kiss?"

Kasey sat up fast, a horrified look painted on her pretty features, "you think I hate it when you and Zander Kiss?"

Stevie nodded, "you always say eww or something."

"Oh." Realization hit Kasey. "I don't hate it at all. You guys are so sweet with each other. I guess…" Kasey sighed, "I guess I'm kinda jealous sometimes."

"Jealous?" Stevie questioned.

"Yer, you guys have such an amazing relationship. You guys are perfect for each other. Zander looks at you like you're his world- which I guess you are. I don't know, I guess I want what you guys have."

"Oh." Stevie whispered. "I'm sorry Kase. What about Dean? You really like Dean!"

"I know, but Dean and I aren't as close as you and Zander."

"It takes time." Stevie pointed out. "Zander and I were best friends for a year before we started dating. Besides, you guys are always breaking up. Why do you do that?"

Kasey shrugged, "every time we break up I think it's going to be for good, but somehow we always end up going out again."

"You guys are clearly really attracted to one another. That's a good sign."

"I guess." Kasey sighed "but it's not keeping us together."

"Try staying together for a bit longer. Maybe that will work." Stevie suggested.

"Do you think we _can_ work?" Kasey asked Stevie, her eyes hopeful.

"Of course!" Stevie said with conviction. "But you guys are different to Zander and I. remember that. Be Kasey and Dean, don't try and be something you're not."

Kasey grabbed Stevie's hand, "thanks Stevie." She said quietly. "I wish we did this more often." Kasey said after a moment.

"What?"

"Talked. Just the two of us." Kasey was starting to feel a little loopy from tiredness, "you know that's why I want you to come shopping with me. So we can talk."

Stevie laughed, "Kasey, if you wanted to talk you could just say so. There are so many other things apart from shopping that we could do together."

Kasey smiled as Stevie rested her head on her shoulder as she said, "you're the only girl I've ever really been friends with, do you know that? I really have no idea how the whole girl thing works. You have to show me."

Kasey grinned, "I think we can arrange that."

"Not too much shopping though Kase." Stevie pointed a finger at her friend.

"Sure." Kasey nodded, "just girl time."

* * *

**HTRobsessed, this is for you darling.**

**This turned out happier than expected, none the less, the next chapter wont be.**

**MY dear guest reviewer: thankyou! Annie is Amazing :)**

**I love It when you guys review! so tell me what you liked, hated or anything, I don't mind!**

**Encantria 3**


	13. No Explanations Please

**A.N. To My 4 best friends: If you got to here I applaud you, but as I've attempted to tell all of you, you should really not read this chapter. You have been warned.**

**To Everyone else((- ignore that last comment)), HTRObsessed wanted me to name this chapter Friday the 13 (because this is the 13th chapter and I'm posting this on a Friday), however, that doesn't quite fit with the chapter. But Evelina darling, I hope this chapter wont be the death of you.**

"Stevie!" Kasey shrieked, coming up behind her friend who was holding an orange pill bottle and looking at it rather apprehensively.

"What?" Stevie asked, confused.

Kasey gestured wildly to the bottle, and Stevie knitted her brow, even more confused.

"What?" she asked again.

"What are you doing?" Kasey was still shrieking, although not as loudly.

"Taking my medication." Stevie crossed her arms, "Like I do every morning."

"What medication?" Kasey questioned, her shrieking becoming more like squawking.

Stevie massaged her temples, "Kase, could you please speak normally? Its only nine-thirty and you're giving me a headache."

Kasey took a deep breath, "what medication Stevie."

"No one's told you? And you haven't asked until _now_?" Stevie snorted, "Wow, Alright. Kasey, I have a learning disability."

Kasey looked puzzled.

Stevie put the container down on the dresser, "Essentially I learn differently to what is considered 'normal'. So usually I have trouble concentrating and I need to be doing something with my hands all the time, and I speak without really thinking about it." Stevie explained.

_She doesn't seem very concerned about it_, Kasey thought.

"Those tablets help me concentrate. They calm me down, my thoughts don't go at a million miles an hour and I can actually hold on to a single train of thought."

"So you take them _all _the time?" Kasey asked carefully.

"I tend to. Except last week, I forgot on Monday. And then Zander gave me chocolate." Stevie giggled.

"Oh." Kasey murmured, realizing that Stevie's strange behavior had an explanation as simple as this was weird.

"And I went hyper off the chocolate and essentially had no self-control." Stevie continued, still giggling. "I didn't realize till Zander pointed it out in second period, but it's too late to take the tablet at that point- or I didn't really want to."

"Did you take it on Tuesday or Wednesday?" Kasey asked quietly, trying to get as much information as possible while Stevie was willing to talk.

Stevie shook her head. "I didn't want to. I like the feeling sometimes, although it means I can't concentrate very well in class."

"Do Zander, Kevin and Nelson know?"

Stevie nodded, "Kevin and Nelson were around when I first started taking them. And Zander is around on all the days when I _don't _take them."

_Of course. _Kasey thought_, that would explain why they weren't the slightest bit worried by Stevie's behavior._

Kasey sat silently for a minute, trying to process the information. Stevie: calm, confident, well put together Stevie, wasn't so calm or well put together. Then again, hadn't she really known that? After the peculiar behavior of the last month, she really should have seen this coming. But she hadn't.

Stevie sighed and sat down next to Kasey, her hands clasped neatly in her lap, "I guess it comes as a bit of a shock then."

Kasey pulled herself together, "No. I mean kinda. But everything's sort of making sense now."

Stevie nodded awkwardly and chewed her lip, "Sorry." She whispered.

Kasey shook her head, "I'm Just glad I finally know."

The pair were jolted out of their conversation by a knock at the door. A muffled "Stevie? Kasey? We have to get going." Could be heard by both girls.

Stevie jumped up, grabbing her bag and opened the door, smiling brightly at her boyfriend. He pulled her towards him without a second thought and kissed her.

"Is everything ok?" Zander asked, as soon as they pulled away.

Stevie nodded, "Yep, I was just explaining to Kasey about my medication."

Zander let out a sigh of relief, "thank god that's out in the open now!"

Stevie frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that it was hard not being able to explain things to Kasey." Zander replied, rubbing her back soothingly.

Stevie crossed her arms, "Why didn't you just ask me?" she frowned at Kasey. "I would have explained it to you!"

Kasey looked awkwardly at the three boys- which, she realized in hindsight, was probably the worst thing she could do.

Stevie pointed accusingly at all of them, "do you all think somethings wrong with me or something? What am I, some sort of basket case to you?"

Zander made an attempt to calm her down, "No Steves! Of course not! Sometimes we just get worried about you though."

She turned to him, "Worried?" She hissed, "Worried, Zander? About what?" she turned to them all, "oh my god. How many secret meetings do you have behind my back about me?" Stevie was fuming.

Nelson contemplated later that if this was a cartoon she would have had steam coming out of her ears.

"God Zander! I trusted you! I TRUSTED YOU!" she was almost yelling, her eyes wild and hurt. Suddenly, she buried her head in her hands and whispered, "I trusted all of you. How did I not see this coming! This has been happening my whole life! I just really thought that you were all different. I guess I was wrong." She stepped away from them, taking off down the hall.

"Stevie!" Zander called after her.

"Don't you dare follow me!" She yelled over her shoulder, sending them all death glares.

"Excellent." Zander muttered after she'd left. "Now we go out to coffee with James _without_ the one person he wants to see."

"How do you know she won't go get coffee with James?" Kasey asked quietly.

"Trust me," Zander responded, "she won't. She's mad so she won't want to talk to anyone."

"She used to disappear all the time when we were kids." Kevin said quietly.

"When she got mad." Nelson clarified.

"Really?" Kasey bit her lip, "and then what happened?"

"Eventually she would come back, really calm and keep going as if nothing had happened." Nelson shrugged, "she never gave us an explanation, and we just learnt to deal with it."

Kevin nodded, "Usually her Mom or one of her brothers would find us something to eat and put on a movie for us till she came back. No one ever talked about it."

Explaining the situation to James was awkward. He looked at them all with very familiar sad hazel eyes and sighed. "Why exactly did she leave?"

Zander started to explain what happened and James just nodded. "I know that bit, what happened to put her in a position to get mad over something so small?"

"Wouldn't we all love to know…" Nelson muttered.

James frowned, "you're her best friends. The only thing she ever talks about is you guys. How do you not know?"

"She's your sister!" Kasey protests, angrily slamming her coffee cup down on the table.

"My sister who I barley know anymore! I came home 3 weeks ago to find her heart broken over a breakup with a boy I didn't even know she was dating, the next week we all went out to lunch and she behaved like someone none of us knew, then we went to a gig where she was weird the whole time after, and now she's disappeared. I don't know anything about her anymore!" James had always been the most sensitive of the five siblings, and at this point he looked ready to cry.

Zander sighed. "Somethings bugging her and I can't work out what."

James exhaled, "tell me what's been happening."

* * *

Stevie scuffed the souls of her combat boots along the gravel under the bench she was sitting on. Her anger at her friends had subsided significantly and now she really just felt lonely. The collage grounds were almost deserted- it being ten AM on a Saturday morning, so Stevie had the dew covered lawn almost to herself.

It was ridiculous, she realized, to get angry at her friends for something so trivial. They hadn't done anything wrong and it made sense that they might be worried about her. She had just hoped that maybe she was doing a better job of hiding her pain, but apparently not.

In all of the commotion, she realized that she had forgotten to take her tablet, which usually would be a bad thing, but today being able to totally zone out seemed like a good thing. And besides, usually around this time she would feel the churning sick feeling in her stomach notifying her that the medication was taking over, and then would come the slight shaking of her hands for roughly ten minutes. The sick sensation that told her that she now had complete control was usually a welcome one. The clear thinking it brought with it, always informed her that not taking the medication was particularly dangerous for her reputation- she feared she wouldn't be able to calmly deliver an insult or defend her friends effectively without it.

A voice broke through Stevie's thoughts, "I haven't seen you around before."

Stevie looked up, taking in the girl clad in blue jeans and a purple jacket. She was pretty, and she was giving Stevie a friendly smile.

Stevie gave an awkward attempt at a smile, "I don't go here."

The girl sat down next to Stevie, "so you're sitting on our bench, looking sad and angrily kicking our rocks."

Stevie gave a small chuckle, "Pretty much."

"What are you upset about?" the girl looked concerned.

"I had a fight with my friends." Stevie sighed.

"Ahhh, so there are more imposters?" the girl asked with a smile.

Stevie giggled and nodded.

"So what are you all here for then?"

"We played the Friday night courtyard concert thingi." Stevie kicked another bit of gravel awkwardly.

The girl looked amazed, "You're part of Gravity 5?"

Stevie nodded.

"You play base, right?" the girl questioned excitedly.

Stevie nodded again.

The girl stuck her hand out, "I'm Abigail."

Stevie took her hand, "Stevie."

"You guys were amazing!" Abigail grinned.

Stevie smiled back, "thanks."

"I've never seen so many people at one of those things. Everyone kept saying this week how cool it would be to have you guys play here."

"Really?" Stevie raised an eyebrow, "People actually were looking forward to seeing us play?" she gave a little laugh, and muttered "And I here I though James was just teasing me."

"Well usually the excitement level for one of those things is minimal, people only go if they have nothing else to do. But everyone was so excited this week, and the turnout was incredible!"

"Do you usually go to the concerts?"

Abigail shook her head, "I've only been a few times before, but one of the guys who I'm… I guess kinda friends with- we all hang out in a big group, so… Anyway, he kept bragging that his sister was in this incredible band-"

Stevie cut her off excitedly, "James was bragging about me?" She grinned.

Abigail stared at her, "so you really are his little sister?"

Stevie nodded.

"Wow. Cool."

For a split second they both paused, unsure of what to say next. Abigail broke the silence with a quiet question, "so why are you mad at your friends? You all did so well last night."

Stevie bit her lip, why exactly had she been mad at them? She shrugged, "they said stupid things, I said stupid things and then I just… left."

"Oh." Abigail nodded.

"And now I'm missing coffee with my brother. At which my friends are probably telling him every stupid thing I've ever done."

"I'm sure they wouldn't do that."

Stevie let out a long breath, watching it create mist in front of her in the cold morning air. "They might. I've pushed them hard enough this time."

"Wouldn't your brother already know a lot of those things?"

Stevie shook her head. "None of my brothers have been around a lot over the past few years."

"How many brothers do you have?"

"Four. All a lot older than me. I'm the 'surprise child'. So I'm the baby by four and a half years."

"When James was talking about you it sounded like he really adored you."

Stevie sighed again, "When I was cute and innocent, maybe. But now… I'm not. And they don't seem to quite grasp that idea."

Abigail nodded, "maybe you're underestimating how much you mean to them."

Stevie bit her lip and didn't reply.

"It sounds to me like you need to talk to him." Abigail suggested quietly, and when Stevie didn't reply she continued, "I bet he won't mind if you're a bit late."

It took another few minutes of Abigail's convincing to get Stevie to go to the coffee shop. Really, Stevie did want to see James, she wanted to spend time with him this weekend- that was why she'd come. But something was still holding her back. The small slither of doubt that told her to grab her stuff from the room and catch a bus far, far away. Running away from her problems may not help, but it certainly couldn't make them any worse.

She arrived at the coffee shop in time to see James throwing away his cup and saying something with a serious face to Zander, who nodded in response.

Stevie closed her eyes, took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

She could feel her friend's eyes on her, and mentally chided herself for coming. Why hadn't she just got on that bus?

James took a step forward and wrapped her in a bear like hug, Stevie clung on to him, never wanting the feeling of safety she was getting to disappear.

"Sorry I'm late." She mumbled

"I'm just glad you're here." James said, slowly releasing her from the hug and holding her at arm's length.

"How about we do something now? Just you and me?"

Stevie nodded, the last thing she wanted was to have to explain anything to her friends. James was safe. He wouldn't question every choice she'd made over the last few weeks.

For the first time in her life, Stevie realized that those who technically are safe aren't always who you feel safe around. Her first instinct wasn't to run to Zander anymore. It was to run _away _from Zander. And she didn't know why.

"Stevie…" Zander said a moment later.

Stevie felt her breath catch in her throat and she took a step backwards.

_She looked… terrified._ Zander thought, _like he had done something_ _completely horrible to her._

He took a step forward, _it couldn't end like this. It SHOULDN'T end like this. _

"Don't Zander. Please, just don't."

Kasey gave Kevin and Nelson a nervous look, none of them could quite fathom the change that had come over their friend in the half an hour since they'd last seen her.

James turned back to them and gave all four a discrete nod, as if to say _'I'll watch her every move, don't worry.'_

"C'mon" James wrapped an arm around his sister's shoulders and led her out of the coffee shop. "Are you alright?" he asked, as soon as they got to the parking lot, bending down to look her in the eyes.

She nodded, "I'm fine."

"Zander said you didn't feel very well." James said.

"He did?" Stevie stared at him. _So her friends hadn't totally betrayed her?_

James nodded, "are you feeling up to doing things today?"

Stevie gave him a tight smile, "I'll be fine."

Nelson and Kevin stood awkwardly at the door of the room they were sharing with Zander for the weekend. Zander was face down and unmoving on his bed.

"I'm sure Stevie will come around eventually." Nelson said awkwardly, breaking the silence that had enveloped the room since they had walked in fifteen minutes before.

"At least we know she's safe." Kevin added. "James won't let her do anything stupid."

"But what happens when we go back?" Zander said, finally sitting up, "I'm having more and more trouble predicting what she might do next."

Neither Kevin nor Nelson had an answer.

Zander wanted to scream. At Stevie specifically. Because she was killing him.

"Why is she doing this?" Zander yelled. "Why won't she talk to me? Why wouldn't she touch me? Why did she look so scared?"

"I don't know." Nelson said quietly, taking a seat on his bed across from Zander.

Zander buried his head in his hands, "Why do I love her even more? She drives me nuts, but I still love her."

"True love." Nelson says. "It's a connection you're going to have a lot of trouble breaking."

"She's forever screwing me over, making things so hard for herself- for me. But all I want is to see her smile. No matter what. I just want her to be happy."

Zander grabbed one of the pillows from his bed and stood up, "why did she look so scared of me? What have I done?" his voice was getting louder, "why is she doing this?"

Zander threw the pillow at the wall with as much force as he could muster. "I can't deal with this!" Zander grabbed the other pillow and threw it to.

Kevin gave Nelson a pointed look, _should we stop him? _

But they both figured that this was probably a better was for Zander to get his anger out than if he ended up cracking when Stevie was around.

So Kevin handed Zander another pillow.

"What are you doing?" Kasey shrieked from the door way.

"Freaking Stevie! And her freaking issues!" Zander yelled, throwing the next pillow Kevin handed him at the wall.

Kasey rushed over and grabbed Zanders hands, leading him gently back to the bed.

"This isn't the way to do this Zander." Kasey said gently.

"Why is she scared of me? Why won't she let me touch her, Kase?" he whimpered

Kasey took a deep breath, "I don't know, Zander. I wish I did, but I don't."

"The only thing I really know is that she loves you." Kasey ran a hand through her hair and Nelson and Kevin nodded in assent.

"I don't get it! Everything should be ok! Her brothers are back, James was so excited to see her, and I know that she was excited to see him- even if it wasn't very obvious." Zander rubbed his hand through his hair, not caring if he messed it up. "I always knew there was something weird happening, I knew that at some point it would affect her, I just didn't think it would affect her _this _much."

"Wait. You _knew _there was something wrong? Before any of this? How?" Kasey said.

"Stevie told me she was cutting because she was bullied. Originally that's what she told me, anyway. Then she told me it was because she was bored and lonely. The story kept changing, of course there was something else. Something she was hiding." Zander said with a sigh.

"So you talked about the cutting with her?" Kasey clarified.

Zander nodded, "only a few times. After I found her the first time we didn't talk much about it for ages- she'd stopped at that point. We haven't talked about it recently, though."

"You found her?" Kasey asked in disbelief.

Zander nodded again, "On summer camp. One day she wasn't in activities, so I went looking for her. The last place I looked was the girl's bathrooms. I don't even know why I went in there. She was crying and there was blood everywhere. I took the razor and she sobbed hysterically. I'd never really thought much before that about the scars on her wrists, but I did then. That was the last time she did it."

"I can't believe I never noticed." Kasey whispered.

"Don't feel bad." Kevin moved to comfort Kasey, "Nelson and I had no idea till the last few weeks of school that year, and we didn't have any idea how to ask her."

"What happened in her childhood to put her in this position?" Zander asked, looking at Kevin and Nelson.

Both boys shrugged. "We never really asked. Stevie's family are a bit strange at times. Her grandfather has something about her being the 'thirteenth grandchild'." Kevin said.

"She hated it." Nelson added, "It was something that she always complained about. She never wanted to see her grandfather because she didn't like the whole 'prophecy' thing."

"Well. She never said anything to me about that." Zander muttered.

"No one talks about it now." Kevin said, "The second you came in to the picture all talk of her fulfilling this prophecy thing was gone."

Zander frowned, "why me?"

Kevin shrugged. "No idea."

A moment later Kasey pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Zander. "I found this just now on the floor of our room."

Zander opened it and looked shocked.

"What?" Nelson asked.

"I wrote this letter to Stevie months ago. After we fought. She wouldn't talk to me. So I wrote her this. But it's a photocopy of the original."

"How do you know?" Kasey asked.

Zander gave her a weird look, "different paper for starters and you can see it's on an angle, it's obvious she's photocopied it."

He showed them the paper.

"You write each other love letters? That's so sweet!" Kasey exclaimed, grinning madly at Zander.

He nodded, "we started when you guys didn't know we were dating. We don't write them very often now. This one is different though. Usually their really soppy and ridiculous. But this one's dead serious. It's the only one that really matters."

"And she has copies of it! How romantic!" Kasey said with a giggle.

"We still don't know what to do." Nelson reminds them all slowly.

"I guess we wait." Zander says quietly. "She's not thinking straight. When she realizes what's happening she'll talk."

"How are you so calm?" Kasey explodes. "How are you always so calm?"

"Did you not see me ten minutes ago?" Zander retorts, "There's nothing we can do. Theres nothing much _I _can do. Except love her, I guess. When she comes back later and refuses to touch me, and refuses to talk to any of us, I'll still love her. When she cries hysterically over nothing, I'll still love her. And when she absolutely breaks, I'll keep loving her. Because I can't help it. And I'll know at the end that staying calm prevented her from thinking I don't."

Kasey can't help but wonder how it's possible for Zander to love Stevie so much. It's unconditional. Love like that doesn't happen very often.

"I keep reminding her that I love her because I know if I don't that she'll think I don't. I know this isn't her right now."

"It's not." Kevin agrees.

Zander nodded, "My Stevie is smart, confident, very un-dramatic and very sensible. When she comes out of this she'll go back to normal."

There's an eerie quiet in the room before Zander mutters again, "she'll go back to normal."

Kasey rubs his back, and wonders if things ever really will be normal again.

Suddenly Zanders muttering, "She'll go back to normal." Over and over again and Kasey looks in alarm at Kevin and Nelson. It's interchanged with, "My Stevie will come back."

And then he's crying and Kasey just hugs him. Kevin and Nelson joining in moments later.

But it's not a proper group hug without Stevie. It's never a proper group hug without Stevie.

* * *

**TADA! I hope you enjoyed me continuing to rip their lives apart :) **

**There's**** still quite a bit of this story left (chapter wise, not in terms of the characters actual lives), so hold tight and I promise I'll continue to explain things. If you do have any questions, pleas feel free to message me or leave as many reviews as you see fit and I will answer you as directly as possible.**

**HTRobsessed and I are discussing a sequal (I know, this ones not even finished), but I have a lot of ideas. So if you have any ideas of what you'd like gravity 5 to be doing in 6 years, tell me!**

**Now, my reviewers:**

**Guest: Stevie and Kasey still do need to talk, I'm so not done with their friendship. That sounds like a good playlist! I'd love to make Stevie and Zander sing together, but we will see :) ((at this point in your review I know who you are I just cant think of your ff name... so message me and annoy me :) ))**

**ZevieFTW: I'm sorry to hear that! I hope that it gets found. The rest of the story will focus more on the band, so not to much of Stevie's brothers (except maybe James, cause I like him). I'm sorry that this took so long, this chapter was a little complicated to write, as are a lot of the future ones. Sorting out Stevie's issues is, unfortunately, extremely complicated as they don't always exist anywhere but her head.**

**HTRobsessed, Devils side kick, notyoursidekick: wow. I laughed so hard at all of these. I love your cover names, very creative! (I hope you see what I did there). I'm so glad to see your selling spoilers, I knew I gave them to you for a specific purpose. ((excellent reference by the way, I think I may frame it)) I'm really looking forward to your album BTW.  
((send me a picture of your ukuele...))**

**Until next time!**

**Encantria 3 (I'm not going to stop doing this sidekicky!)**


	14. How Else Do I Describe It?

_**Happy Birthday HTRobsessed**_

* * *

Georgie arrived in a swirl of floral print, ballet flats and perfectly curled hair. She saunted into the band room at exactly three-thirty-five on Tuesday afternoon with a cheeky smile and all too familiar hazel eyes.

Stevie looked up, shrieked, and for the first time in three days, detached herself from Zander and ran straight towards the other girl.

The two hugged tightly. "What are you doing here? I missed you!" Stevie said.

"I missed you too!" the girl exclaimed, holding Stevie at arm's length, "look at your hair!"

"Look at yours!" Stevie said, pulling at a strand of the other girl's brown and blonde streaked hair.

"It's been so long!" the girl said, pulling Stevie in for another hug.

"I know." Stevie said softly.

"Do you know how many times I've been shopping and thought, 'I need my fashion consultant'?"

"Me too!" Stevie said with a giggle.

Zander exchanged a glance with Kasey who was looking equally confused. They could both see the resemblance between the two girls, so they must be family, right?

"I'm sorry." Kasey cut through the pair, looking between them in annoyance. "Who are you?" she asked the girl.

"This is Georgie!" Stevie exclaimed, leaning her forearm on 'Georgie's' shoulder.

Kasey frowned.

"My cousin?" Stevie said, her tone dropping slightly. "You never listened when I told you about her, did you."

"Oh-My-Gosh!" Georgie babbled out, "Kevin and Nelson? I haven't seen you two since, like, sixth grade!" she bounced over to them and wrapped her arms around the two, pulling them into a hug. The pair didn't move, they just exchanged glances of surprise. Georgie, who had spent so much of their childhood trying to get them to play house or something as equally lame and girly, was as bouncy and frivolous as ever.

Zander got up, making his way awkwardly to his girlfriend. "THIS is Georgie?" he asked leaning in to her.

Stevie nodded.

"I thought she lived in San Francisco?"

Stevie frowned. _What was Georgie doing here? On a Tuesday none the less._

"Georgie, not that I'm not thrilled you're here and everything, but, why are you here? And how?"

Georgie smiled, "Daniel sent me. He said 'Georgie, you're going to visit Stevie.' So I came."

"How long are you here for?" Stevie asked.

Georgie sighed, "That's the catch. I'm only around till tomorrow night, then I have to go home."

"Why can't you stay longer? That only gives us twenty-seven or so hours to catch up! And at least seven of those hours I have to be in school for."

"I have to go back to school." Georgie sighed, "Still, Steves, twenty-seven fun filled hours!"

"Why didn't you come on the weekend?" Stevie asked.

Georgie bit her lip, "You know how your brothers and mine are fairly close?"

Stevie groaned.

"They're worried."

"Of course they are." Stevie said, sarcasm dripping from the words. "Let me guess, everyone had a big family meeting, didn't invite me, and chose you as the delegation to suss the situation out."

"That's not exactly how it happened, but I guess you could say that there was a sort of meeting. Aren't you glad it's me who came, anyway?"

Stevie crossed her arms, "I would be a lot happier if you just came to visit with no pretext."

"Should I have lied to you? Told you that I was just 'in the neighborhood'?"

Reluctantly, Stevie said, "No, I guess not."

"By the way, congratulations on FINALLY telling your brothers about having a boyfriend. I think seven months is just about a record for secret relationships in this family."

"It's good to know that you created a whole new category especially for me." Stevie said, rolling her eyes.

"Yep, none the less, Dan spent at least half hour sympathizing with them about how fast little sisters grow up." Georgie said.

"Them?"

Georgie nodded, "Leif, Finn, James and Ben. They had a video chat."

Stevie ran her tongue over her teeth, having totally forgotten that she was in a room with her four best friends, "What did they say?"

"I wasn't there the whole time, but I got a brief synopsis of the whole thing.

A) You broke up with your boyfriend- who according to Ben is very nice.

B) I can't count the amount of times this was mentioned to me in the five minutes I talked to them, you apparently wear to much 'eye makeup' as they put it.

C) Here's the big point: you cried." Georgie finished.

Stevie scoffed. "They sent you half way across the state because I cried? That's ridiculous."

Georgie's voice was quiet as she said, "James told me about Saturday. They may not know about last time, but I do. And I would rather come to your wedding than your funeral. So I'm here to ensure that my favorite cousin is safe."

Stevie bit her lip. "I'm clean, I swear." She said quietly.

Georgie nodded, "you know I'm not here to judge you on that."

Stevie crossed her arms again, hugging her chest tightly.

"You're not even acting like yourself, Steves. What happened to my cousin who had a snarky comment for everything I said?"

Stevie made a face, "I guess she grew up."

Georgie shook her head, "Stephanie! You know I can see right through you when you lie." She sighed, biting her lip, "I know that this is all really complicated. But your brothers really are worried. And so am I. I hoped you'd stopped responding to my messages because you forgot because you were happy or something, but you haven't forgotten. So now we are going to go to a café and you can explain why exactly you stopped responding."

Zander bit his lip, he wasn't sure if he trusted Georgie with Stevie- then again he trusted no one with Stevie, especially not himself right now. Zander had had many late night conversations with Stevie about her family, and the only person she had ever really talked about was Georgie. They had lived on the same street until Georgie's parents had move the entire family to San Francisco when the girls were ten. Stevie always talked about how close they were, how she could tell Georgie anything and how the only person Stevie trusted to advise her on fashion was Georgie. So, maybe Georgie was fairly safe.

Stevie ran her tongue over the front of her teeth and nodded, "I've got to go to my locker though." And with that she disappeared.

Georgie smiled brightly and the other four members of Gravity 5, turning to the dark haired boy holding a ukulele she stuck out her hand, "You must be Zander." Zander nodded mutely. "Stevie talks about you all the time. And I was wondering when I'd finally get to meet you, this isn't how I'd thought meeting any of you would happen, but still, I'm glad I have."

Zander smiled a little, attempting to make Georgie feel somewhat welcome. "You said Stevie stopped responding to your messages?"

Georgie nodded, and let out a little sigh. "Usually we talk all the time, but about a month and a half ago she stopped responding. I got a few messages, something about an ice cream shop, I think? And another about her brothers coming to a gig. She sounded happy enough so I wasn't really worried till James called and explained about Saturday. Although I didn't really understand a lot of it."

"Do you think you can help her?" Zander asked quietly.

Georgie bit her lip, and Zander marveled at how Georgie had a lot of the same gestures as Stevie- although Stevie's were more perfect and refined. "I don't know. She's willing to talk to me, that's a start. I'd think it more likely that I can convince her to let you help her. She trusts you, and you know what's been happening recently."

"I really actually don't know what's been happening." Zander admitted.

Georgie bit her lip again, "look, we only have a few minutes before she comes back, could you explain Saturday to me? Because that sounds similar to things that have happened before."

Zander didn't question her, he just nodded and explained what happened as fast as possible, slowing down considerably when he explained Stevie's return. "James texted me and asked me if we were in our rooms, I said yes and he told me to open the door because he 'had something for me'. I did and James was outside. He just sort of nodded to me and turned to the end of the passage, he said something along the lines of, 'c'mon! You can't sit behind a wall for forever.' Figured it was probably Stevie, So I told him that as long as she was ok she could. Then this blur came running towards me and crashed into me sobbing. She muttered 'I'm so sorry!' for the next half hour at regular intervals and cried the entire time."

Georgie raised her eyebrows. "Well that's bad." She sighed, "I admire that you guys are coping with this."

"I wouldn't say coping exactly." Kasey muttered, "We just hope for the best."

"She hasn't detached herself from Zander since Saturday." Nelson said, finally coming to stand beside Kasey and Zander with Kevin following awkwardly behind.

They were all silent for a moment before they all heard Stevie clear her throat. "Are you guys ok with me skipping Band Practice?" Stevie asked, she looked… almost normal, Zander decided. As if she felt perfectly fine.

They all nodded.

"Let's go." She says to Georgie, who smiled at the other four.

Zander bounds over to Stevie and wraps her in a hug, kissing the top of her head, "have fun Steviekins!"

* * *

"So, tell me what's been happening." Georgie said, as they sipped their drinks. They were sitting outside the café, the day was still warm enough for them to be outside without the big gas heaters next to them being on. Though Stevie still drew her jacket closer to her body as Georgie spoke.

Stevie shrugged, her grip on the mug tightening ever so slightly- as if holding on to it would somehow make her feel better. "Not much."

Georgie raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? Not much? That's the worst response I've ever gotten from you. C'mon Steves! Tell me how you've been feeling! Tell me something! Because I'm your link to convincing everyone your fine."

Stevie put her mug down and leant forward, twisting one of the many bracelets on her wrist around her finger, "how many people know?"

Georgie bit her lip, "not _that _many. Me, your brothers, Dan, Fran- because of course she was around at the time, Patrick, Corey-"

Stevie cut her off, "so basically everyone?"

"No! Corey only knows because I had to explain to him why I was visiting my cousin in the middle of the week." Georgie said, by way of an explanation. Corey was Georgie's boyfriend of almost two years, Stevie had always gotten on well with him, it wasn't like it really bothered her that he knew, it just bothered her how many other people could know by this point. "And my Mom- cause I couldn't come if she didn't let me, and Aunt Gabi and your Mom-"

"My Mom? You told my Mom? Georgie!" Stevie massaged her temples

"It wasn't me! Dan and I kinda over exaggerated just a bit to Mom so she'd let me come… and she got really worried and called Aunt Gabi and your Mom. But I managed to intercept that one and tell your Mom that it wasn't too bad."

Stevie still looked very put out, "but now my Mom knows! What am I going to tell her?"

Georgie raised an eyebrow, "Steves, your Mom already knew there was something wrong."

Stevie frowned, "she did?" It _did_ make sense, the worried looks, the questions: _'how's it going Stevie?' 'Are you ok?" _and such, Stevie had to wonder how her mother knew, though her brothers had probably sold her out- they had done it at least once. "Wow, Christmas will be fun this year." Stevie muttered.

Georgie rubbed her cousin's arm, "everyone goes through rough points. We'll just say it was a bad month, not a big deal."

"Right, because Granddad will total buy that, and Aunt Margret will make the whole thing hell for me." Stevie moaned.

"Who cares what Grandad thinks? He's nuts. Besides, you and I both now that precious little Stephanie can do no wrong." Georgie said. Neither of them got along well with their Granddad. Stevie because he believed she was the fulfillment of his crazy prophecy- consequently believing that she was still an innocent child and Georgie because the only grandchild he adored was Stevie. "That's really getting to you, isn't it? That whole prophecy thing is stupid. We all know it- except Granddad and Aunt Margret, no one expects you to be 'innocent' forever."

Stevie chewed at her lip, not taking her eyes off the white coffee mug in front of her. "I hate being the favorite." She said in a whisper.

"No one blames you." Georgie said quietly. "Other than that, how have you been feeling?"

Stevie shrugged and ran her finger round the rim of the coffee mug, "I just haven't been feeling _magical _I guess."

"There's a difference between not feeling magical and freaking everyone out." Georgie pointed out, watching her cousin stare at her mug. It was an odd feeling, like she was suddenly watching someone she didn't know, this just didn't feel like her cousin. Even last time, Stevie had been very much present. But this was different. They both knew it. This was make it or break it.

Suddenly, with a look that Georgie recognized (the one which told her that Stevie was still there) Stevie looked up. "I know. I just don't know how to describe it. It's scary. Like being held underwater. You don't know if you'll be able to breath in time." She took a long sip of her drink, "you get a few moments of air as whatever monster it is lets you back above water. Just enough to keep you alive, but not enough that you get enough struggle. And in the moments after, you get clear thoughts before they get drowned out again."

Well, Georgie wasn't expecting that. She had expected Stevie to shake her head and tell her she was fine, that everything had just been blown out of proportion. She had expected Stevie to maybe cry, to show Georgie the fresh lines on her wrists and tell her- like last time- that she'd done something _so _stupid.

She didn't expect Stevie to tell her in an impossibly calm voice that she couldn't breathe, or for her cousin to show her the healing scars, faint after all this time.

"I'm so scared Georgie." Stevie admitted finally, her voice still level. "I know I can't stop myself when I get pushed under. I have no control. None at all. I hurt everyone, and I can't stop myself." Stevie drew a shaky breath and tried to stop the picking tears behind her eyes. "I'm going to go under again. I can feel the air getting thicker. And when I do… Georgie… what if I can't come back?"

Georgie grabs her hand, she feels Stevie grip it tightly, "If I stay… can- will…" she breaks off, unsure of how to put her question _will her presence stop this?_

Stevie shakes her head, "I doubt it. And you can't sit around waiting for me to crack. It might take ages."

There's a silence, it's not uncomfortable, but it couldn't be classified as comfortable either.

With a low, sad chuckle, Stevie says, "they could make a reality TV series out of my life. _'Watch as Stevie screws everything up!' _"

Georgie shakes her head, "there are plenty of people who have screwed up worse than you."

"Thanks for the encouragement."

"But seriously, is there a point you know before you…_go under_? Like, something you can tell Zander to watch out for?" Georgie asked.

Stevie licked her lips, on Saturday there had been no warning. That had been short compared to the other times. Sometimes she couldn't breathe for days. The foggy thinking and lack of control over her actions had covered so much of the last month, she almost didn't remember most of it. "No." Stevie shook her head. "All I know right now is that it's coming. I can feel that, but I couldn't tell you five minutes before, or an hour before. It just happens."

Georgie bites her lip, "what do you think will happen this time?"

Stevie knows exactly what will happen, she knows there will be blood, there will be tears, and if she's lucky, she'll get out alive. But Georgie is her link to her family, the only one who can keep everyone away until Stevie has sorted herself out. Because she knows that she has to fix this herself. There is _no_ other way. So, she just shrugs. "I don't know."

* * *

It isn't until they're lying in bed later that night that the topic of boyfriends is finally brought up.

"Do you think we've meet the person were each going to marry?" Georgie asks quietly, she watches the slow change of the fairy lights above Stevie's bed. Each is shaped like a flower and the LED globes inside them create a rainbow effect of colors, sending the light dancing in multi colored shapes across the blue walls. It's funny how Georgie can remember the day Stevie brought those lights.

They were eleven, Georgie had come to spend spring break with Stevie, and all four of Stevie's brothers had been there. Leif and Finn had come back from collage especially so they could all spend time together. Leif had driven all six of them to a little town about forty-five minutes out of the city, they had spent the whole day wondering around the town, looking in little stores and admiring the brightly colored houses. But it hadn't been until they had stepped into the quiet little shop nestled in a side alley which promised 'unusual things' that Stevie had really come in to her own.

The shop had dark blue velvet curtains- Stevie had described it as midnight blue, even though Georgie had known it was navy blue. The counter was dark with a sheet of glass over the top, protecting the various pieces of dried plants and sea shells. Every shelf housed something different, from dolls to perfume, the shop had everything imaginable. If she hadn't actually experienced the place, Georgie would have described it as a 'knick-knack shop'. But that wasn't what it was. It had a different air to it, like the whole place was in some other world. Georgie felt it was eerie, Stevie felt it was incredible.

_'__It's like coming home'_ Stevie had muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

Most of the things didn't require electronics. The lights did though. The eccentric little old lady had dug them out from a particularly deep shelf, placing them in Stevie's hands with a knowing smile. She had found a power point and Georgie watched her cousins whole face change with the lights. As if this was the most magical thing she had ever seen.

They had never really talked about the lights, or what they meant to Stevie. Georgie had always supposed she'd never really understand why her cousin would close her curtains in the middle of the day, turn out the main lights and just lie on her bed and watch the lights change color.

But now, as they talked quietly, sleep gradually taking over, Georgie could see why Stevie had found the lights so magical.

Firstly, they were oddly calming. The hews changed softly, blending into one another and creating something of a wave effect across the room.

Secondly, the lights brought a sense of something otherworldly. As if humans couldn't have created something so perfect and unique.

"I like to think I already have." Stevie said softly, reminding Georgie of her earlier question. Georgie could hear her cousins soft, slow breathing as she searched for the next words. "If I don't totally screw up my relationship with Zander, I hope I'll marry him."

"You won't screw up." Georgie said in reply.

Stevie let out a long breath, "I already have." She whispered.

Georgie waited a moment, unsure of how to respond. Finally she said, "How do you know he's the one?"

"Because," Stevie said with total confidence, "for the first time in my life I can see my future. Weather its going on holiday together or buying our first house together or celebrating birthdays- even having kids. I can always see myself doing it with him. He's the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. I don't feel stupid calling him at 2am because I've had a night mare, In fact, it feels right that he'll crawl through my window fifteen minutes latter and sit with me until I fall back asleep. Before I totally screwed everything up, I had total confidence that we'd graduate together, and that we'd make collage work even if were six- thousand miles apart." Stevie pauses and turns to face Georgie. "It's a feeling. I just know, I guess."

Georgie nods slowly and silently wishes that she has that kind of confidence in Corey. Because, while she loves him, spending the rest of her life with him seems a little daunting. They _are_ only seventeen, and most people only expect seventeen year olds to turn up at school, not to know who they're going to spend the rest of their lives with.

Although, Georgie would much rather Stevie end up with Zander, because Zanders a nice guy, and a good person. And she'd like to be able to spend time with Stevie in the future and not have to plan it so that she doesn't see Stevie's boyfriend or husband because she doesn't get along with him. So Zander is a good choice.

"What about Corey?" Stevie asks quietly, brushing a loose curl behind her ear.

Georgie shrugs, "I don't know." She says honestly. "I love him, I really do. But I just don't know. I mean, it took me forever to fall in love with him-"

Stevie butts in, "That's not a bad thing."

"I know. It's just… I don't know." Georgie tugs on her pajama top absent mindedly. "How are you so certain?"

"Good question. Unfortunately, I don't know."

"But then again, knowing that you've found _the one_ at seventeen is highly unusual." Georgie muses

Stevie nods in response.

* * *

"Promise you'll call when it's over?" Georgie says as she and Stevie hug goodbye the following afternoon.

"Promise." Stevie holds out her pinky, and solemnly they link their pinkies and shake.

"Be careful Steves." Georgie says finally.

It's such a strange statement, because both of them know how little control Stevie will have over how careful she is, but yet, it makes sense to them.

When Georgie gets home she knows that the questions will start, questions she won't be able to answer. Because No. Stevie isn't ok. And No. Georgie doesn't know when (or if) she ever will be. But for the moment, where she can see her cousin in front of her, Georgie knows that the answers can come later.

* * *

**I'm sorry this took so long. I had trouble with this chapter because I never really planned it, I just sort of hoped that it would happen... stupid idea. I hope you all got some answers from it (not a lot, but still). **

**Before I do anything else I feel we should talk about Georgie. She's not going to be in most of the rest of the story, so for anyone whose worried about an OC taking over the story, don't. But Stevie needed someone else to talk to and Georgie can provide Zander with some much needed information.  
****And for anyone wondering how old Georgie is, she's about a month older than Stevie.  
**

**I have discovered, after re reading this entire story looking for a way to write this chapter, that none of my smiley faces work or any of my hearts. I am very disappointed. so for any one wondering why i always sign a 3 after my name, its because its meant to be a heart. **

**I'm really excited about the next chapter so hopefuly it will be up soon. **

**Encantria _(with a heart that i cant do)_ **


	15. This is it

Stevie woke up on Thursday morning with the resolution to be cheerful. No matter what it took.

She kissed Zander with a smile and told him she felt fantastic.

She complemented Kasey on her outfit and let Kasey talk her into shopping on the weekend.

She let Nelson use her as a Guinea pig for his latest science experiment and she helped Kevin find all of his furious pigeon's game chips.

Even though by three o'clock she felt sick and all she wanted to do was cry, Stevie still stayed for band practice.

Zander exchanged a worried glance with Kasey who frowned and griped her microphone tighter.

But no one said anything, because no one knew what to say.

Stevie was fairly quiet on the car ride to school on Friday morning, Zander wasn't surprised, she had clearly worn herself out the day before. It wasn't until they got to the band room and he's holding her close, with an arm wrapped around her waist that she looks up at him and speaks.

"Z, can we do something other than school today?" Stevie asked with big innocent eyes and undeniable sweetness. She's got an arm wrapped around Zanders neck, her fingers gently tangling with the hairs at the nape of his neck. "Please?"

Zander looks down at her- even though there's really only a few inches difference between them. He frowns a little, pulling her closer to him. "Steves, we need to stay at school."

Stevie inwardly gulps a little. "Please?" she whispers.

Zander shakes his head and she nods slowly and steps away from him. The sick feeling in her stomach only growing. "I've got to get my books." She almost runs out of the room, trying to stop the tears that are threatening to fall. Because this feeling of drowning hurts. Not a physical hurt like scraping her knee or breaking her arm, it's suffocating. Like someone's slowly blocking her air supply. The black feeling that's been looming for weeks now has finally caught up with her, the world's lost color and the knowledge that _this is it_, is something she doesn't want to know.

The sick feeling only grows stronger through algebra. Its comprised of the dizzying feeling of dropping in to the abys of nothingness, and the searing pain that tears at every part of her brain.

So she writes Zander a note. Struggling to keep her hand steady and her vision focused.

She gets a pass to the nurse half way through class, and, with a hiccupy sob, slides the note into Zanders locker.

It's easy to get on the bus that takes her away from school, to sit and stare out the scratched and dirty window and let the tears roll down her cheeks.

And it's so easy to get off the bus and walk the 200 or so meters to stand on the hill overlooking the city and feel the wind whip at her hair as she takes the razor out of her bag.

Her hands aren't shaking anymore and a strange calm has washed over her. She almost feels like laughing, because this feeling is so empty. And it feels so much better to be empty.

And so, with steady hands and no regret, Stevie runs the blade across her wrist. It stings a bit, but it feels good. And she feels ever so slightly less empty. She loses track of time as the cuts grow and she watches the crimson blood trickle down her wrists. There's so much satisfaction that comes with this, with watching the blood and feeling the wind sting against her open flesh. It's like punishment, the sort of punishment that makes your insides twist at the thought, but also makes you feel so cruel and accomplished.

But, as the blood dries, the realization of what she's done starts seeping in. The blood flow is stopping, but there are bloody fingerprints all over her jeans and her arms and hands are dark red. The wind has stopped, for an in disputable moment the whole world seems to freeze as a sob rises in her throat.

And then, the wind picks back up, with twice the force it had earlier. And Stevie buries her face in her hands and rocks back and forth, not caring that the blood will now be all over her. The sound of her sobs being drowned out by the wind.

* * *

Zander doesn't find the note until the end of the class after Stevie has algebra. It is written in her very distinct, neat hand writing, all the curls and loops perfect. It's HER handwriting, and the words are HERS, but he can't see her writing it.

He hands the note to Kasey when she arrives, not wanting to explain. And Kasey takes it slowly, unsure if she wants to know what it contains. But she reads it any way, if only for Zanders sake.

_Zander,_

_I'm writing you this letter in the middle of algebra. I know I should be doing work, but I can't concentrate._

_I'm scared Zander, really scared. I don't know what off exactly, maybe I'm scared of myself. Sorry this is so messy, my hands are shaking. _

_Everything seems really dark lately, like I'm looking in to a swirling void of nothingness- sorry, that sounds weird. But everything just looks dark. It's like I'm slowly losing color, everything that's been in my life up until now has seemed normal, it never really bothered me like it does now. But something slipped Zander, in my brain I guess, something that is sucking every bit of beauty out of my world. I'm so scared that I'll do something stupid, I'm so scared I'll get to comfortable with the darkness._

_I know that I've been a total bitch lately, and I wish I could explain why. But I can't. Because I honestly don't know. There's all of this stuff floating around in my head and I can't catch hold of any of it. I can't grasp the reasons, but I know they're there. _

_And I'm terrified, of everything that's happening. I'm terrified of myself, I'm terrified of what you'll think of me, and I'm terrified of what might happen. I can't stop feeling so out of it, and I don't get why. _

_I'm sorry if this is all too much for you to take in, and I'm so sorry I've been such a bitch. But I hope that you'll forgive me someday. I'm going to put this note in your locker now, so I won't see your face when you read it. Because I can't see your face when you read this._

_I will always love you,_

_Stevie_

Kasey hands the note back to Zander gently. She sucks in a breath of air and tries to stop the overwhelming feeling that something has gone horribly wrong. "Aren't you going to go after her?" she chokes out, gripping the edges of her binder tightly and attempting to hold back the tears.

Zander folds the letter and gently slips it in the pocket of his ukulele case. He shuts the locker and shakes his head. "I can't do anything now. If she's going to do it, then I can't stop her. I should have stopped trying to stop her a long time ago."

Kasey's voice hitches in her throat, "don't say that!" she whispers. "Don't give up now Zander!"

"It's over Kasey. I'm done fighting her. I'm done with this." His voice is so emotionless, so lifeless.

Kasey shakes her head. "no." she gulps, "NO! You can't be done! You love her!" she was crying, Zander giving up on Stevie was worse than Stevie leaving. They were her best friends, she needed them intact, and she wanted them intact. "You love her Zander!" she repeats.

Zander shrugs, "where has that gotten us? Nowhere! Nowhere Kasey!" his voice is so harsh now, they're earning odd looks from the other kids in the hall.

"But she makes you happy!" Kasey protests.

"The Stevie I _knew_ made me happy. I don't know this girl anymore!" he's almost in tears to. What happened to their perfect world? The world where Stevie held them all together? The Band was Stevie's idea, she had brought them all together. And their world had effectively revolved around each other. Around the five of them. Around the idea that Zander and Stevie were soulmates. They had all believed that. They had all believed that she was the strongest. But everything had come crashing down. And now they were all grasping at the pieces of their shattered world.

"You still love her! You love who she used to be! You said she'd come back someday! OUR Stevie!" Kasey said, her voice heavy with tears.

"I don't know how to get her back! I don't know what she's doing. I don't know why!"

Kasey bites her lip, "do you know where she might have gone?" She takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

Zander nods.

"So go!"

He shakes his head and Kasey frowns. "I can't stop her anymore Kase."

That almost kills Kasey, Stevie is the only one who _ever _calls her Kase. And it scares her that there's a possibility that Stevie will never call her that again.

"If she's-" Kasey pauses, not wanting to voice the truth. "Done it, then it's over. But if she hasn't, then she _will_ need you. Go Zander!" she's pushing him, trying to get him to move.

He just looks at the ground though, his face pale.

"I'll call her family. See if I can get anything more out of them. You have to find her." Kasey tries to sound business like, but it's not really working. She's not fooling either of them.

Nelson and Kevin appeared a moment later, it's become normal for it to be just the four of them. It's not comfortable, but they're getting used to it.

"Stevie's gone." Kasey informs them, still trying to keep up the business like appearance.

"Gone?" Nelson falters.

"I'll explain, later. Go Zander." Kasey shoves him hard and Zander stumbles a bit, but keeps going.

Kasey drags the pair to the band room, explaining about the note on the way. She sets her bag on the couch and produces the piece of paper Georgie had given her just before she'd left. It had a list of people to call if something bad ever happened to Stevie, with annotations about each person.

"First person to call… Mrs. Baskara. _Stevie has a warped idea right now that her mother doesn't care about her. She's very wrong. Aunty Bee doesn't know how to help her tho._" Kasey read out loud to the boys, who were squirming next to her. She dialed the number and heard the call go straight to voicemail. "Hi, um, Mrs. Baskara? It's Kasey Simon, Stevie's friend? I um, I hoped I'd get on to you in person, but I, um, guess I haven't. Um, anyway-" Kasey took a breath and bit her lip, squinting over at the posters on the band room wall. "We can't find Stevie. I wanted to know if you've heard from her in the past few hours. We're kinda worried and Zanders out looking for her and if you know anything please call me! OK, um. Bye." Kasey hung up and looked over at Kevin and Nelson who were still squirming.

She looked down at the list.

_Ben-__he and Stevie were really close as kids. He lives the furthest away, but is she was to tell anyone anything- it would be him.  
__James-__ he makes her laugh, she may call him if she wants to feel better. Be careful what you say to him, he's likely to panic if he thinks he'll lose her._

_Finn-__he's practical, so if she wants a reality check she'll call him. _

_Leif-__he's likely to have attached a tracking device to her while she's asleep. But he's afraid of her growing up. She wouldn't tell him anything big._

_Aunt Gabi-__Stevie and I always used to tell her the things we couldn't tell our moms. If Stevie was to run away she'd go to Aunt Gabi._

"Now for Georgie." Kasey said, although the only two people who could hear her weren't listening. "Hi, Georgie. It's Kasey. Stevie friend."

"I know who you are Kasey." Georgie sounded amused. "Let me guess, you can't find Stevie?"

Kasey frowned, "how did you know?"

"I know my cousin, besides, I gave you the list _for _this exact reason."

"Do you know where she is?" Kasey asked hopefully.

"I'm 6 hours away Kasey. I have no idea."

"Oh." Kasey was disappointed, it wasn't as if she had _expected _Georgie to know, she had just hoped she did. "What can you tell me then?"

"What I know I think you already know."

"Tell me anyway." Kasey insisted.

"This is it Kasey, make it or break it, what happens decides her fate. If she comes out of this she'll be fine."

It was a reiteration of every one of Kasey's worst fears. But it was also a releaf to know she wasn't the only one who was thinking that.

"Tell me when it's all over, Please." Georgie said before they hung up. Her voice was quiet, it was the first time Kasey had heard her come anything close to nervous, Georgie had seemed so confident and calm about the whole situation a few days ago.

* * *

Zander could see Stevie sitting in front of the bench as he pulled in to the parking lot on top of the hill. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her gently. She leant into him, letting him stroke her hair gently.

Eventually Zander pulled her up, taking her bloodied hand in his own and leading her back to his truck to find the box of tissues his mother insisted he keep in there. Neither of them said anything as he tried to clean the worst of the blood off her.

The sound of Stevie's quiet sobs was actually a relief, Zander certainly didn't want to hear her muttered apologies or listen to her explaining why. It all hurt too much. So they sat in total silence in Zander's bedroom after he'd driven them home. He'd found her red Christmas sweater and had silently made sure she was warm enough before turning on a movie.

* * *

**Hello Darlings!**

**I hope you enjoyed this, if at this point you hate me, then that's totally cool! there's still a few chapters left of this story, so stay tuned! (when i say a few i mean like 4.)**

**I'd love to know what you all think, so please leave a review and tell me!  
ZevieFTW: I think its good Georgie appeared to! Stevie is acting strange- that is deliberate. Zander isnt going to be much help really. shes going to have to sort her self out on her own.  
Stevie is my favourite character, killing her would kill me.**

**HTRobsessed: did I make you cry again? :)  
**

**Somebody knows: here you go!**

**lots of love,**

**Encantria **


	16. Faded Circles

"Didn't it hurt, to cut your wrists like that?" Zander asked as Stevie was finishing washing the dishes later that evening.

She scoffed. "Of course it hurts. It stings and burns for hours. It's messy and there's blood everywhere and then you remember for weeks after that you weren't strong enough to stop. But there's a sense of satisfaction after, like the pain got washed away and released. No matter how bad the scars look, it would always be better than having all that pain bottled up inside you."

Zander looked… almost nervous, Stevie thought. Oh god. Had she gone and scared him?

But he took her wrists gently and ran a finger over the fresh scars thoughtfully. "Have you figured out why it didn't work this time?"

Stevie bit her lip and tried to focus on his hands. They were small in comparison to most guy's hands, but they looked so big against her own small ones. She liked the way the gaps between his fingers fitted perfectly with hers and the way he could hold both of her hands in only one of his hands. She liked the way that he held on to her and the way his touch paralyzed her.

She shook her head slowly "no." she murmured

"C'mon Steves, we both know you have some idea." Zander was starting to sound a little pushy, he was gripping Stevie's wrists tighter, looking at her with a worried expression.

Stevie watched his hands closely, the pressure hurt a bit where he touched the cuts, but for some reason the pain didn't bother her. She took a shaky breath. "No I don't."

"So tell me why you did it last time." Zander wanted to tilt her head up so she was looking at him, but doing that would be like signing his death warrant. She wouldn't look at him till she was ready.

Stevie tried to start her sentence multiple times, thinking over the way to put it perfectly, "I already told you. I couldn't cope, it felt good." She finally said evasively.

Zander wanted to say that he knew that wasn't the _reason _she had done it. But she wouldn't respond well to that. He sighed, moving one hand so that it was gripping her upper arm and the other to her cheek. She stiffened at the sudden change of position and he could feel her take a shallow gulp of air.

"_Stevie" _he whispered.

Ever so slowly, Stevie removed both of his hands from her body and took a step back, finally looking at him with large hazel eyes that looked like they could overflow with tears at any moment. She took another step away from him.

"I should go." Her voice was almost inaudible, Zander had to strain to hear the words. He had mere moments to decide a course of action.

He could either let her go and hope she would talk to him later, (that was a risk, she might twist that in her mind and convince herself he didn't care) or he could make her stay and talk (also risky- what if making her talk made her current mood worse.) lastly he could kiss her and put on another movie.

Zander turned away from her and started to put the dishes away. Stevie froze, _wasn't he going to stop her?_

He brought the plates over to the cupboard beside her, and as he stood back up after he put them away he picked her up and carried her back to the living room.

"_Shrek_ or _Up_?" Zander asked, picking the movies of the shelf once he'd put her down on the couch.

Stevie blinked, "uh… _Shrek_?"

Zander nodded and once the movie was on he pulled Stevie close to him, and for a moment pretended that everything was totally normal.

"Tell me more." Zander said finally. No matter how frustrating she was, Zander couldn't live without her, so he might as well try to understand how it felt for her. He'd met other people who cut, never anyone like Stevie though. Never anyone who described it like Stevie had, and never anyone who cut deep enough that she ended up with blood all over herself. From what Zander understood, most people did such things in the bathroom, and tried to hide the scars from everyone. Stevie had never tried to hide the scars, she had turned up at camp with the lines bright and clear, wearing her scars like she wore each of her many beanies. She had only worn a few bracelets then, over time more had accumulated as she bought them or found more in her bed room (The amount of times Zander had helped her clean her room and all they had really achieved was the recovery of three or four bracelets was impossible to count).

Stevie tilted her head and chewed at her lip, "about what?"

"About anything. Everything. Something. I want to try and understand."

"It hurts." She said, shrugging nonchalantly.

Zander gave her a _be serious _look.

"I don't know what to tell you Zander. It hurts like hell. And I feel so stupid after. And I wonder why. Every time I wonder why I did it again. Because I promised myself over a year ago that I would never do that again, and I dragged myself back down. And I feel sick every time I think of it." She clenched her fists and shut her eyes tightly. "Is that what you wanted to hear Zander?" she looked at him with a mixture of hurt and defiance in her voice.

Zander opened and shut his mouth like a gold fish. "I just want to understand." He said finally, uncurling the balls of her fits with a fierce gentleness.

"How do I even begin to explain this to you Zander? I can't even explain it to myself." Stevie said, suddenly looking very deflated.

"You made a good start." Zander said in a murmur, "I wish I'd asked you to do this earlier."

Stevie let out a huffy breath, "It wouldn't have changed anything."

"At least I might have understood a bit better." Zander reasoned

Stevie crinkled her nose at him and put her forehead on his chest. "Let's not talk about this. K?"

Zander pretended to think, gently pushing her backwards and pining her hands above her head, and starting to tickle her ribs. Stevie made every attempt not to laugh, biting down hard on her lip and trying to squirm out of Zanders warm, gentle grip. Eventually she gave in, letting the giggles take over and enjoying the smile Zander gave her when she did.

The giggles and smiles only lasted moments after he had stopped tickling her, her pale face and forlorn expression reappearing alarmingly fast.

"Where are your bracelets?" Zander asked gently, noticing her oddly bare wrists.

She shrugged, "in my locker."

Zander frowned, "In your locker? Why did you take them off at school?"

Stevie didn't see the problem, "because they were annoying me. And they felt itchy and weird."

But even after Zander had dropped the subject and put on another movie, the question still haunted Stevie, why _had_ she taken them off? What had possessed her to take off those bracelets? Especially the ones that she had worn every day since she had received them.

The feeling that they were creating an itch might not have been a real itch.

Each of those bracelets meant something different. They came from everywhere and everyone. All the people she cared about. Like the one Nelson had brought back from Hawaii for her when they were fourteen, it was knotted, with brightly colored flower beads creating the center of every recurrence of the chevron pattern. It was fading and the flowers had turned white instead of pastel, but it still meant the world to her. Even though Nelson had thrust it at her awkwardly when he arrived on her door step the day of his return, his Mom had explained to Stevie later that he had spent ages agonizing over which bracelet to get her, because it had to be perfect for his best friend.

And the one Georgie had gotten her for her thirteenth birthday. Having matching best friend bracelets were _so _in then. It was a simple circle with an S engraved on one side and forever on the other side, tied to the center of a string. It was so cheesy but it was always the cheesy stuff that meant the most to her.

It made her think, taking them off was like taking off the barrier between the cold metal and her wrist. Because she couldn't do it if she felt they were all there. Holding a shaky breath in she looked nonchalantly at Zander, trying to assess if he had realized she'd figured it out. He was watching whatever show was currently on the TV. The same show that they had been watching the afternoon before they had gone to minigolf. Whatever show it was had made them laugh, it didn't look so funny now, a young girl was yelling at a good looking boy while he looked guilty.

Stevie felt like Zander should be yelling at her like the girl was yelling at the boy, wild arms and hurt eyes. But he wasn't. He hadn't. She couldn't help but wonder why. He had every reason to hate her- she wouldn't blame him for walking out of their relationship.

He senses her watching him and turns, kissing her cheek and then her lips. Stevie responds happily, pulling herself so close to him that he's sure that there isn't a millimeter of personal space between them. Zander holds on to her tightly and wishes for all her pain to be over.

* * *

**Hello Darlings! I hope this has you all geared up to read the next chapter! cause thats coming really soon (I have a lot of it written). Please tell me what you think :)**

**Encantria**


	17. My Choice

It's Kasey who hears the razor clatter to the floor as she approaches the band room. She pushes the door open in time to see Stevie collapse to the ground, sobs starting to wrack her small body. Kasey runs forward and wraps her arms around her friend, noting the blood dripping from Stevie's left wrist. Kevin and Nelson, who were only a few steps behind her appear, both spotting the blooded razor at the same time, and looked in horror at Kasey.

"Get Zander." She says to the pair as she rubs Stevie's back soothingly.

For a few minutes while it's just the two of them, Stevie's sobs are the only sound Kasey can hear. It's a heart breaking sound, and Kasey has to wonder what has exactly led Stevie up to this point. And what would have happened if she had gotten there any later.

Zander looks impossibly calm as he walks into the band room, almost as if he had been prepared for this. He's unhurried as he finds the paper towel and, knelling down next to them, picks up Stevie's wrist gently and presses the paper towel to it. Stevie's sobs don't slow until long after Zanders taken a bandage from the emergency first aid kit and has wrapped it round her wrist.

Eventually, Stevie pulls away a bit, taking the tissue that Zanders holding out to her and wipes her eyes.

"Dam unwater proof eyeliner." Stevie mutters, seeing the black lines on the tissue.

It's a moment later before she looks up at them, her right hand holding the tissue tightly and her left resting limply on her thigh. "I'm sorry." She says.

Kasey doesn't move. Stevie's got an air of calm to her now, and Kasey gets the sense that the girl she became friends with in the first place is back.

Zander is the only one brave enough to speak, "Its ok." He doesn't go to touch her, he just gives her a little nod.

Stevie stands up. Kasey makes a move to follow her, only to have Zanders hand grip her shoulder pointedly, telling her not to.

Stevie pulls a lime green water bottle out of her bag, her name etched clearly into the metal. She takes a long sip, before looking down at her bandaged wrist silently. Zander stands, letting Kasey do the same.

Kevin and Nelson both take a step towards them so they're all standing a few meters from Stevie.

Stevie looks up at them again, gripping the water bottle tightly. "I'm sorry." She repeats.

Zander moves a few steps forward. "What now?" he asks, as if this is the most natural thing to happen.

Stevie chews her lip, "I've got control now."

Kasey frowns, _control?_

"I don't know when I lost control in the first place, but I've got it back now." Stevie nods at them, as if this explains everything.

"What were you doing exactly?" Zander asks.

Stevie raises an eyebrow at him and holds up her wrist, "I would have thought that would be pretty clear."

Zander gives her a wry smile, "but where was it going?"

Stevie shrugs, "don't know."

"If I hadn't walked in…" Kasey trails off, nervously.

"I'm done with that."

_She looks so sure_, Kasey thinks.

"How do you know?" Zander asks.

"Because I don't need to." Stevie bites her lip, "I can control what happens now. I couldn't before."

"How do you know you've got control?" Zander presses her.

Stevie takes a deep breath and puts the water bottle down, "I told you the other night that it feels better, to watch the blood run down my wrists, to turn everything red. But when I started today… I felt _so _sick. It didn't feel good. I didn't feel like anything hurt less. And then I realized I wasn't letting go of the pain. I was just making myself angrier. And no one did anything to deserve that at all."

Stevie's very composed, as if she has no idea of the thoughts that had passed through her friends minds in the time she had cried.

"I don't know what I was going to do when I stumbled in here half an hour ago, but I do know that it's over."

Zander moves slowly forward and Stevie gives him a nod that says he's ok to touch her. She lets him hug her tightly, burying her head in his chest. "God Steves." He said quietly. "You really had me scared for a bit."

"I'm sorry Z." he can only just make out the muffled words as she speaks into his chest.

They all hug her after, each in turn finishing with Kasey.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Stevie says quietly, after she's pulled away from Nelson.

Kasey shakes her head. "I'm just glad you're ok."

"Yer" Stevie said quietly as she hugs Kasey, "Me to."

No one wanted to leave Stevie on her own for the rest of the day. Kasey kept insisting that class was completely unnecessary, and tried on more than one occasion to take Stevie shopping with her. Zander kept a tight grip around her waist and walked her to and from every class, enjoying the sarcastic remarks Stevie gave him every time he looked concerned (because if she could insult him that meant she really was ok). Kevin produced a stack of beanie's he had found in the band room at various times and had forgotten to give back to Stevie- she laughed and put one on. And Nelson sat with her through English while they had to discuss a particularly sad poem and drew a series of funny cartoons witch Stevie stuck on her locker.

* * *

"Sit Steves." Zander commanded gently as she walks into the band room that afternoon for band practice.

Stevie bites her lip and takes a deep breath. She knows what this is about, and at this point, there's really no point in hiding what's happened. Besides, she's ready to talk. "Ask me anything." She says quietly, "I'll answer whatever you want."

Her band mates sit on the other chairs, Zander sits next to her, lifting her legs so they end up on his lap. "Firstly, no one's going to ask you anything invasive right now." Zander says, and from his tone Stevie grasps the severity of this talk. "We all just need to get the facts straight."

"Facts?" Stevie asks. What facts could they need? She's made it fairly clear what she's done (it isn't like she was ever really making any attempt to hide anyway).

They all seem to pause, looking at each other to figure out if they all still think this is a good idea. Finally, Zander speaks, his words are slow and measured as her holds her hands gently in his. "Why did you start cutting?"

Stevie frowns, not because she's uncomfortable with the question, but because she doesn't have a solid answer. She was 15 when she'd started, she remembered so clearly locking herself in the bathroom after her brothers had arrived home a few days before Christmas, they had all hugged her and excused themselves to go unpack. All she wanted to do was spend time with them and they didn't want to spend time with her. She wanted to throw something, or hit something, or break something. She wanted to cry as she told them about everything that had happened, the bullying, how lonely she'd felt, everything.

The razor had caught her eye, shiny and sharp, on the vanity. And suddenly she just wanted to hurt _herself _because it _must_ be her fault, it _was_ her fault. She hadn't felt any regret as she dragged the razor across her wrist, it was only in the hours after, as she stared at the cuts that she realized how stupid she had been. But when her brothers had gone away again the urge to hurt herself had come back. Over and over and over again.

"I was angry, I guess. At my brothers, at myself. And when you're angry at someone you want to hurt them. So I hurt myself, because it was _my_ fault. Or at least it felt like it was. And then it becomes addicting, like a drug, because for a few seconds everything disappears, and I wanted those few seconds of total freedom, no matter what the cost." Stevie bites her lip, looking down at her wrist. "It never lasts, you know. Afterwards I just felt worse."

Zander runs his thumb over her palm thoughtfully, "so your brothers triggered all of this?"

Stevie shrugged, "they made me mad, but it's not their fault."

Tentatively, Kevin spoke, "Is it our fault?" his face nervous as he gestured between himself and Nelson, who was clutching a pillow tightly.

"Why would you think that?" Stevie tilted her head, "you two were the only reason I was holding on. Until I met Zander, and then I had three reasons. And then you Kace. Every time I thought that I couldn't keep going I thought of you two. You guys are my _best friends'_, we've done everything together, and the thought of not being able to keep adventuring with you two was enough to make me want to live."

Kevin looked shocked, his lip quivering a bit as he leaped over to Stevie and hugged her tightly.

"Oh Kev!" Stevie said quietly. She closed her eyes for a moment, willing the tears away. When he pulled back a little she cupped his chin gently in her palms. "You mean the world to me." She said, wiping the tear that had rolled down his cheek away with her thumb. Reaching out with one hand she grabbed Nelsons, "I love you two so much!"

Both boys hugged her tightly, simultaneously saying, "We love you to Stevie."

Maybe that's the moment it suddenly all seems real for all of them, because up until now it's like they've been living in a dream, hoping that they'll wake up. But it's all so clear now how close this has come, and for a moment while everything is silent, they all imagine what life would be like without Stevie.

Zander knew that without his muse, music would become a drag. He couldn't create music without Stevie, he couldn't do anything without Stevie. For all of Kasey's obsession with him and Stevie being soulmates, he did believe it, no matter how many times he'd told her soulmates didn't exist. He knew he'd keep going without her, he'd always remember her and he'd always try to show the world how special she was. Maybe he'd create a foundation to help people like her, maybe he'd try to stop bullying all together. Whatever he did though, he knew it would still be centered around her.

Kasey knew they'd all drift apart without Stevie, Gravity 5 would cease to exist. They'd try and stay in contact, maybe they'd get coffee every year on _her_ birthday. She'd marry a rich and successful guy and maybe become a model or a designer, and they'd have 3 beautiful children, just like she'd always wanted. But it wouldn't be the life she'd hoped for, it wouldn't include dragging Stevie shopping, it wouldn't include coffee dates where they'd gush over their husbands, it wouldn't include eating chocolate ice-cream on their periods and crying over some sappy movie. She'd lose her best friend and with her everything that Kasey had come to want so much over the past year.

Kevin remembered all the times Stevie had walked in on him and Nelson doing something stupid, their numerous experiments, inventions and dioramas earned a raised eyebrow and entertained smirk from their dark haired friend. She tended to leave them to it unless she deemed what they were doing unsafe, in which case she always gently diverted their attention. Without Stevie to prevent them from hurting themselves they would likely end up in hospitable at least once (if they were lucky).

Nelson knew he needed Stevie's constant challenge of his intelligence, whenever he couldn't solve a problem, she always could. She usually had no interest in proving that she was smart, except when it came to correcting him. She would smirk, cross her arms, and tell him the correct answer without hesitation. And then, when he called her at three AM complaining that he still couldn't figure out how she'd done it, She would laugh and come over, helping him with the problem until they both fell asleep. Nelson needed her absolute faith in him and Grace, he needed her to tell him to be confident, to push him towards her before every school dance, with an encouraging smile and the reassurance that he could do it. Nelson didn't know how he'd cope without her, he and Kevin would become the two musketeers, holding on to the last of the threads of a friendship that they'd thought was immortal.

"I really am sorry." Stevie said quietly, looking down at her bandaged wrist so she couldn't meet any of her band mate's eyes. "I honestly never meant to hurt any of you."

Zander took her hand gently and laced their fingers together, "It's over now."

She nodded silently, making a mental note to repaint her nails- they looked terrible.

"I have a question." Kasey said, her hands clasped neatly on her lap and her eyes deathly serious.

"Shoot." Stevie responded.

"Kevin and Nelson mentioned some prophecy or something? What is that?"

"Oh." Stevie snorted, "That. It's a load of garbage. Totally stupid really. When my grandfather was younger he went to a fortune teller who told him that as long as his thirteenth grandchild remained pure of heart and childlike in disposition then his company would continue to flourish. So, from the moment I was born he has been trying to keep me 'pure' and 'childlike'. I can't stand it. Every time I went over to my grandparents as a kid, or to anything really, my Aunt Margret would dress me up in baby doll dresses and paraded me around like a little pageant girl- because she thought that would keep me childlike." Stevie frowned, the memories starting to upset her.

Zander rubbed her arm gently, she gave him a little smile and continued, "When my grandmother found me she would always change me back and send me into the protection of my brothers." Stevie gave a little sigh, "that's why I hate wearing dresses usually. It's also why I liked playing outside so much and why I don't like spending time with my family."

"When I was seven I said I'd never fall in love. Obviously things changed, but I've been held to that statement as my _Grandfather_ believes that to furfill his precious prophecy I can't, no one but Georgie ever thought I would. When I met you, Zander, Georgie instantly started to catch on that you were different. She teased me mercilessly about you- not that I minded because it meant all we did was talk about you- but that created problems because no one believed her. That's why I didn't tell anyone when we started dating."

Stevie took a deep breath, her voice low, "Maybe that's part of the reason why I kept cutting. If I could just discount the prophecy by becoming as impure as possible maybe I could feel normal. No one noticed the scars though. That hurt. That no one cared enough to stop me." Stevie looked up at Zander, "And then you did. You cared enough to stop me and after all the times my family had ignored _me, _and had only cared about the prophecy it was nice to have someone care about _me._"

"What about Georgie?" Zander asked, "Surely she noticed."

"She was the only one. She yelled at me and told me I couldn't keep going. I yelled back, pulled my sleeves lower and kept going. Afterwards we cried and she told me over and over again that I was important. It helped a little, but it doesn't change that no one else noticed. I didn't do it for a month or so after that, but I needed the satisfaction and the feelings it brought with it. So I kept going."

"So Georgie knows everything?" Kasey said slowly.

Stevie nodded, "I'm going to be totally honest now. There was one night I came so close to…" she broke off, not wanting to finish the sentence. "Anyway, I called Georgie because I figured that I should at least say goodbye, I guess part of me wanted to be talked down. She sat on the phone with me for four hours while I sobbed." Stevie shook her head to clear it. "You might find Georgie a bit… over the top sometimes, but she's always been there for me. And she is an incredible person."

"When Georgie was here she told us she was going to try and convince you to let us help you. Why didn't she just do it herself?" Zander asked.

Stevie nodded, "fair question. She explained to me later that if I ever tried that again that I would have to call you."

Zander frowned, "why?"

Stevie bit her lip, "because, shes 300 miles away. And because-" Stevie paused, "She wanted me to tell you that I was…" she broke off and chewed at her lip.

"Suicidal." Zander finished for her.

Stevie nodded, "not right now, but…"

Zander nodded. "Well, I'm glad I know."

Stevie raised an eyebrow, "you are? Wouldn't you rather have a girlfriend who wasn't a danger to herself?"

Zander shook his head, "I'd still have you over anyone. I'm glad I know because that gives me answers, and I can hopefully make an educated guess if this ever happens again. Is this likely to happen again?"

Stevie shrugged, "I don't know. All I know is that _I_ have worked out how to sort myself out. _I_ know where _I_ went wrong and _I_ don't need what I thought I needed."

Zander frowned, but didn't ask her to explain. If she knew what to do then he wasn't going to question her.

"What can we do to help you now?" Kasey asked solemnly.

Stevie blinked a little, it wasn't like it came as a total shock her friends wanted to help her, but she had expected them to just drop it and then treat her as normally as they could while checking continuously on her. "Just… I don't really know. Don't treat me like I'm made out of glass, and don't ask me if I'm ok all the time. I want to be normal. I get that you probably don't want to leave me places with sharp objects or whatever, but trust me, if I wanted to start up again you couldn't stop me. And I totally get that this is all a lot to take in. So, just so long as we are clear on not wrapping me in cotton wool, I think I'll be fine."

Everyone nods and Stevie crinkles her nose, "lets practice!" She says, jumping up to grab her base and giving it a few test strums. Everyone else follows, breathing a sigh of relief.

* * *

**Hello Darlings!**

**I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as it's been one of my favorites so far to write. **

**So there's only a few chapters left of this story. Obviously this story has opened up a lot of questions, and unfortunately I'm going to have trouble remembering exactly which ones I've answered. SO, if you have a question or a supposed plot hole I need to close, PLEASE tell me!**

**Xxx Encantria**


	18. I like People who Smile when it Rains

The grey storm clouds are gathering as they make their way through the park a few hours later. It's funny, Stevie muses, how its been sunny for months with barley any rain, and the second that she feels better there's a storm. Then again, she doesn't really mind. After all, she would much rather have rain than sun any day. Rain meant movies, and cuddling with Zander. Rain meant hot chocolate and being able to rug up in warm blankets while the rain trickled down the window pane.

But right now, as they sit quietly on the old wooden bench and watch as the park slowly empties itself of the laughing children and worried mothers, Stevie couldn't care less what the weather is. It's the most comfortable silence they've had in months, not riddled with guilt or unspoken lies or the worry of tomorrow, but rather it's filled with an easy sense of calm.

As usual, Zander has his arm slung casually round her shoulders pulling her body closer to his. But this is a different sort of closeness. Not just the bond between best friends or lovers, but a sense that they've shared in something bigger.

Stevie rests her head on his shoulder, smiling gently as Zander picks up her hand and inspects the lines on her palms, running his finger down each in turn. He does this all the time, and it's become a feeling that Stevie has come to associate with him being nervous or overly calm. None the less, it feels wonderful, his touch makes her hands tingle, and it never ceases to amaze her that Zander can make her melt completely. It crossed her mind once, that really she could be compared to ice cream. Cold and hard in the freezer, but the second Zander (aka, the sun, or heat) appeared, all of her defenses had started coming down- like ice cream melting. But she hasn't really given it to much thought, she's not really one for using such analogies outside English class.

"Steves?" Zander says gently, his fingers stilling on her hand. She takes her head off his shoulder to look at him, self-consciously tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I-" Zander starts, his eyes suddenly seeming to want to be anywhere but on hers. "I know, after everything that's happened, this may not be the best time to do this…" he trails off as Stevie frowns, it's a line that has been used in practically every cliché, romantic movie that she's ever watched. She's watched a lot of them, actually, and while before, admitting such a thing would have seemed just about the most stupid thing she could do (her reputation is at stake), after today she figures that she'll have to be more honest. Not just with Zander, but with herself. Even if that meant admitting that she didn't just watch romantic comedy's just so Kasey couldn't shriek when she said she hadn't seen one and then make her watch the movie four times. So, honestly, maybe, she actually enjoyed them (that would explain why she cried in all the sad bits…).

Stevie wipes the frown away and smiles reassuringly at him, Zander looks relieved. He digs in his pocket and comes out holding a box. Stevie's eyes widen as she looks from Zander to the box and back to Zander again. It's fairly clear what this is. A ring box. And a ring meant…

She isn't ready for that.

"You're, um." Stevie swallows thickly and bites her lip, "you're not going to… propose are you?"

Zander smiles. And while Stevie's never wanted to get married in high school, she knows (as her stomach does back flips) that if that's his plan she won't be able to resist saying yes.

Luckily, he shakes his head straight after. "Nah, Stevie-bevie. How silly do you think I am? I listened to all those times you told me how stupid people who do that are. I don't want to feel your wrath over that. But I brought this for a different reason. And I've been carrying it around waiting for the right time to give it to you. Now seems like a pretty good time, I recon."

He holds the box out to her, and for a split second, Stevie doesn't move. The box, at this second, holds what Stevie wants to be her future. Zander. Because if Zander bought her a ring that means that he still loves her, that she hasn't totally screwed things up. Even though he's been going around all day holding onto her as if she might slip through his fingers at any second, she still seems to doubt him.

If she takes this ring, she has Zander. Zander, who loves her despite that, until today, he knew almost nothing about her past. But he's met her brothers, he's met Georgie, he's met parts of her past that she's tried to forget, and yet, he's still here. After all the separation she's tried to incur on her life, (she'd tried to file the 'before Zander' section away so it wouldn't touch what is her present) she didn't expect it all to meet with such a crash that it tipped her off balance. But it has. And she's come out ok. Sure, there are a few more battle scars, and some memories she'll defiantly try to forget, but in the end she has the one thing, the one person that she loves more than anything. The one person who she'll ignore death for.

And so, with shaking fingers, Stevie reaches out and takes the box, looking up at Zander for reassurance. He gives her a warm smile and presses the box into her palms, no sign of uncertainty in his eyes.

The ring is silver. And it fits perfectly onto Stevie's finger as the last rays of sunlight hit the tiny blue and black stones dotted along the top. She looks back up at him, not even trying to hold back the tears as she kisses him firmly.

"It's a promise ring." he says quietly as she pulls back a little. Zander picks up her hand and smiles softly at the ring on her finger. "Not in the traditional sense though. It's a promise that I will always love you. That nothing can change how I feel about you. And I promise that every time we break, we'll try again."

Stevie kissed his cheek, "thanks." She whispers.

"Wait," Zander murmured, "I'm not done. The stones are sapphires and opals, but I liked the idea of them being sort of… separated. I heard a story once of how the Japanese repaired broken things with gold, because they believed that cracks made them more beautiful. So to me, these little stones that are held together with the silver are more beautiful than the huge versions that the other rings had. Every time things get screwed up, remember that the more cracks, the better we can be. Because if there are no cracks then there's nothing to fix, and if there's nothing that's ever been broken then we clearly aren't trying hard enough." He takes a deep breath and takes both her hands in his, clasping them tightly. "Because of what's happened, Stevie, I know you better. And the more I know, the more I love."

The first drops of rain are starting to hit them, but neither of them make any attempt to move. "I don't just love you Stevie. I am _in love _with you."

* * *

The rain has thoroughly soaked them by the time they get back to Zanders truck. Not that Stevie minds. Sure, she literally wrings out her hair before she gets in (though she's not sure if that really helps because it's raining so hard) and she probably looks like a panda, but the moments between the rain starting and running back to the truck would defiantly be something she'll always remember.

If Stevie were to have a bucket list (which she doesn't, because she firmly believes bucket lists are exceedingly lame). Dancing in the rain with Zander would have been item number 1.

His arms had rested tenderly round her waist (or at least they'd started there, somehow, they'd ended up on her back. Almost hugging her to his chest). She grinned giddily as he spun her around.

"What?" Zander teased, "Are you enjoying this?"

Stevie laughed and for a moment while the giggles overtook her, she rested her forehead on Zanders shoulder. Finally, she looked up at him with a grin, "I have a confession."

Zander nodded, "alright."

"I've always wanted to dance in the rain, and do every other romantic, cliché thing that happens in movies."

"Really now?" Zander's voice was even more teasing. "So I should be kissing you in the rain?"

Stevie bit her lip "I wouldn't stop you…"

Zander shook his head in amusement, "you never cease to amaze me, Stevie Baskara."

This kiss was different to the others. Its gentleness was coupled with the need for more. Later, as she thought back over the day, that moment stood out to her as the moment that she let it all go. All the pain and confusion that she had felt over the past few years disappeared at that moment. The only person's approval she needed was Zanders, and he seemed to find the entire thing amusing.

Maybe that's why she suggested they went to 'their spot' behind the abandoned warehouse. It's only a two minute drive, and the way Zander looks at her when they stop at traffic lights is making her feel warm despite her wet clothes. And oh god, she can't think straight.

She gives them both a good two seconds before she turns and practically climbs on top of him. She can feel him laughing against her lips, "eager much, Steves?" he breathes out between kisses.

"Mmm" she nods pulling him down on top of her.

They've both missed this. Making out without feeling like they owed each other something, or without using it as an excuse not to talk.

"Are you cold?" he asks eventually, as she tugs the hair tie out of the remnants of what had started off as a bun.

She shakes her head. "How can I be? You're really warm and currently on top of me, so really, I'm just wet."

He laughs again. If this is a new beginning for Stevie, then she's glad to know that Zander will laugh a lot.

Her hand has somehow ended up on his cheek, and suddenly she knows exactly what she wants, and she is fairly certain he wants it as much as her. She pushes them both up. Her eyes never leaving his as she pulls her shirt over her head. He looks surprised, and for a moment, as she pushes the plaid shirt off his shoulders, he doesn't move. Not that that slows Stevie down.

He helps her with his gray tank top. Leaning in again to kiss her.

When it comes to each other they've never been good with words. There are so many other types of communication that they are better at (like telepathy, as Kasey likes to tease). So it makes perfect sense that the only conformation that _this is what she wants, _is held in the fierce kisses she places down his chest as he throws their clothes over the seat.

It occurs to Stevie later that at some point that they will have to go home. She's going to have to explain the fresh bandage to her parents, and it's probably better that happens sooner rather than later. But right now as she's drifting off to sleep in Zanders arms, the feeling of completion and the warm buzz still clouding her brain, she decides that explanations can wait.

It makes her laugh, in the days to come, that he bumps his head on the steering wheel as they get up. He shakes his head at her and chuckles a little, wrapping the picnic blanket around her, with a low, "your clothes are wet."

"So are yours." She points out, but he just shrugs.

It shocks her when he pulls up at his house 10 minutes later, "my family's out." Is the only explanation he gives her. She realizes latter that he can't drop her home in a picnic blanket. Which is why she finds herself in his clothes, snuggled up against him on the couch with hot chocolate.

"You know, you're beautiful." His voice breaks the comfortable quiet that has enveloped the room. Leaving only the steady sound of the rain as a measure of time. Aside from the comments about their wet clothes, it's the first thing either of them has said.

She turns so she can look him in the eyes, "so are you." And kisses him on the nose.

* * *

**Hello my darling readers!**

**Sorry this took so long, I was involved in planning a camp for little girls (I was Princess Ariel) and planning a camp takes a lot more energy and effort than I expected.  
**

**Credit must be given where credit is due, and HTRobsessed has been extremely helpful in the construction of these chapters. So, darling sidekick, thank you, these chapters have happened because of you (I hope you liked your carsex scene). And to my best friend Sheyla who messages me asking for the next chapter all the time and writes the most brilliant sex scenes, thank you :)**

**So, opinion time. Theres one more chapter left of this. I can write a second that would be set in the future if you all want, otherwise I'll finish the story after this next chapter.**

**tell me your opinions!  
**

**Encantria**


	19. Love Letters

_March 2__nd_

Steviekins!

Dear, Darling, Stephanie.

Princess.

Let me profess my love for you in this letter, because, just like in the fairytales, this will make you swoon and I'll catch you. Remember that time I did actually catch you? Well, I do. And I remember how surprised you looked. And how you hung on to me, like you never wanted to let go. Well, I never wanted you to let go.

Do you remember the time we went 'scuba diving' in the lake at camp? You had those adorable swimming goggles and we went looking for fish. It's a shame we didn't find any. But you looked beautiful. I thought you looked like a mermaid. That was the first time I realized how much I loved your laugh. It's very musical, did you know that Steviekins?

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what writing love notes entails. I hope so far I've done well- If I haven't then I'm going to continue anyway.

You know what I love about you? You're so willing to try anything. Remember that time we went on a late night walk? Or more like you dragged me on a late night walk? And you told me to pretend to be a cat because then we wouldn't get caught. It seemed silly at the time, but now it actually makes sense. I remember you producing cat ears from your closet before you left, why did you have cat ears Stephie? I've always wondered that.

This letter seems of adequate length (that sounded pretty formal, ehh?) so I'm gonna finish it now.

Your very happy and enamored (I think that means I really like you- or at least, that's how I meant it.) boyfriend,

Zander

* * *

_March 3__rd_

Zanderina Ballerina.

Next time we go on a late night walk I'll provide you with bunny rabbit ears.

Let's be honest, sometimes you remind me of a rabbit. You're all cute, and your nose twitches when you think really hard. And rabbits either tend to run away or sit really still when they're scared and then when they get comfortable they're like mini dogs. They roll over and let you pat their stomach and be all cute…

Rabbits are cool!

I don't know what to put in a love note either. But I like writing them.

HEY! What do you think would happen if Kacey or Kevin or Nelson found one of these? Hehe… I'd like to see the looks on their faces! Do you think they'd be surprised?

But, I like the way things are now… even though it's only been a few weeks. I like sneaking around and no one having any idea. And I like knowing that none of your fangirls have a chance with you because  
YOU'RE MINE.

J xxxx

Your Favorite person EVER!  
Stevie

* * *

_March 5__th_

Dear My Favorite person EVER!

Rabbits don't roll over… not like dogs anyway…. Didn't you have a rabbit once?

… What did you do to it? Did it roll over? Strange rabbit… Also, if I'm like your rabbit, it must have been very good looking. ;)

When we tell everyone else I'm sure they'll be surprised, but it doesn't matter, because when they do find out I'm going to kiss you senseless.

You know Steves, I've kissed quite a few girls in my time, and you are by far the best kisser. You are also the prettiest. And the cutest (don't hurt me over that).

When my fan girls find out, I'm going to kiss you in front of them to.

I am yours, and you are mine.

Yours,  
Zander

* * *

_April 14__th_

. Stevie

I feel it's appropriate to put a fullstop before your name because before you there was nothing but stopping and now it's just… HAPPIENESS!

So, right now I'm sitting behind you in English. (I love your hair. I want to touch it. It's so pretty.) (I also love your jacket. It suits you.) (OH! And I love you : ) )

I usually like English but studying the Indian prayers or whatever it is were supposed to be doing is really boring. So, I drew you a picture and I'm attaching it to this letter.

ZANDER!

* * *

_April 14__th_

Zander,

Are we on a dinosaur? It's a very impressive drawing, but, what are we doing on a dinosaur?

Ok, so I know this sounds stupid and probably childish, but, my favorite type of dinosaur is a Velociraptor. And I've always wanted to dress up like one for Halloween. But no one's ever wanted to help me make the costume. (I saw this cardboard Velociraptor costume on Tumblr and its SO COOL! I want to be that. It has giant googly eyes.) Wanna help me this year?

Also, we are studying Native American tribal songs. It has nothing to do with India.

Xxx Stevie

* * *

_April 14__th_

Stevie baby, I would be delighted to help you with your veloco velocio velocia- dinosaur costume. Zander

* * *

_May 15__th_

ZANDER!

Hello adult! Haha you're 18!

Happy Birthday Z!

I drew you a picture of I tyrannosaurus rex eating cake.

Xxx the birthday Princes Princess

* * *

_May 25__th_

LOVE LETTER 100!

Stevie.

I love you.

Love,

Zander.

* * *

_May 26__th_

Zander,

I must confess I was a little disappointed that you didn't use letter number 100 to do something special. Never mind because this is

LOVE LETTER 101!

And I'M going to do something I rarely do. Stroke your ego.

You absolutely have every right to look in a mirror because, darling, you are perfect. I love your face. I love your hair, I love your eyes and the little crinkles they get in the corners when you laugh.

I love your laugh. I love the way every time you laugh it sounds like a song.

I love the way you talk, like the wonderful things you say can bring about world peace. (They probably could. YOU probably could.)

And so, you have every right to be vain, because I'm vain about you being my boyfriend.

There are so many sappy things in my head right now.

I BLAME YOU. You and your perfection have done this to me. Your smiles, and your peace and your kindness.

I never thought I'd like being sappy, but I don't mind so much with you.

I'm going to save the rest of the sappy things I have to say for another time.

Lots of very, very sappy love,

Stevie

* * *

_June 5__th_

Today is doughnut day. We're going out for doughnuts. –Z

* * *

_June 6__th_

Z,

Since yesterday was doughnut day, can today be ice cream day?

x S

* * *

_June 18__th_

Steves, if you want to get a hall pass and skip all this talk about self harm and stuff… I'll come keep you company.

* * *

_June 18__th_

I don't. I'm fine. Besides all you want to do is makeout.

/-/-/-

_June 18__th_

Baby, isn't that what you want to?

* * *

_June 18__th_

No, idiot, it isn't.

This is PD- PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT.

Not getahallpasssoyoucanmakeout class.

I plan to learn.

Also, don't call me baby.

* * *

_June 24__th_

Date tonight? ;)

-Z

* * *

_June 24__th_

Write me a proper love letter and I'll consider it.

* * *

_June 24__th_

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Love,

Zander

* * *

J_une 24__th_

Shakespeare wrote that. And you copied it straight of the handout.

* * *

_June 24__th_

Shakespear might have come up with it originally, but I meant every word of it as I copied it on to the paper for you.

Love you baby ;)

-Z

* * *

_June 24__th_

Do you even understand what you just said to me?

Also, don't call me baby.

Also, you spelt_ Shakespeare_ wrong.

* * *

_June 24__th_

It means, I think you're beautiful.

* * *

_June 24__th_

Kacey's reading every word you've writen over my shoulder.

* * *

June 24th

KACEY! I LOVE STEVIE! AND I THINK SHES BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND WONDERFUL!

-Z

* * *

_June 24__th_

…. I love you to.

* * *

_June 26__th_

Guess what! LOVE LETTER 300!

Haha! we win!

Screw the haters!

Xxx Stevie

* * *

_July 4__th_

Happy 4th of July Baby!

You're amazing!

* * *

_July 4__th_

How many times have I told you not to call me baby?

* * *

_July 21__st_

Stevie,

I know you're mad at me, but no matter what I will still write love notes to you.

This isn't about the fight, I can't write down my apology in a letter, I wouldn't know what to put.

So, I'm going to tell you all the reasons I love you. So that way, you'll always know.

I love you because you make me think, you challenge me. You're not like any girl I've ever met, you have no interest in following me creepily or flirting with me incessantly.

I love you because you still have more of an interest in music than in me. And I admire that.

I love that I don't need to look in a mirror anymore, because you interest me more than a mirror ever could.

I love that you're so protective of your friends, and I love that you always look after us

I love the way you laugh, and the way you smile.

I love that you don't care what people think.

But most of all, I love spending time with you, I love it when you tease me and when you take off your high heels as soon as we walk out the door and carry them around all night. I love every second of our dates.

Stevie, I don't ever think it will be possible for me to ever stop loving you.

Love,

Zander.

* * *

_August 1__st_

Happy 1st day of summer baby!

Ready for the best summer ever?

Of course you are. Cause it'll be with me!

Love,

Zander

* * *

_August 2__nd_

You are so conceited.

However, yesterday was the best first day of summer ever.

And I can't wait for today.

Kacey has such a nice pool… she helped me shop for this bikini. ;)

Xxx don't let the others see this!

Stevie.

* * *

_August 24__th_

Dear Steviekins,

Mom wants me to tell you that our family is going away from the 1-9 of September for a family birthday thing.

I think that's stupid and I told her I didn't want to go cause you wouldn't be there. And she told me not to be silly. And that I was going and 'that was final!'

It's going to be horrible the entire time!

I'm going to die!

Also, mom said that any time your family isn't home to come over ours for dinner. And that if that's every night then that's ok. And tonight we're having nachos.

(Please come! We have like... 6 days till I go away and I want to spend every minute with you.)

Love,

Zander

* * *

_August 24__th_

Z!

I would be delighted to accept your dinner invitation. And all those for the next 6 days. Cause Mom and Dad went away and my brothers aren't home.

Stupid Family.

You are lucky you have a cool little sister.

Remind me to tell her tonight that I would love to help her get ready for the party she's going to :)

Xxx

Stevie

* * *

_September 2__nd_

Is your family done separating us yet? I am actually dying here. It's hot and I have nothing to do!

I miss you! Please come back soon!

Xxx Stevie

* * *

_September 3__rd_

Stevie,

This family thing is stupid. Being in NYC isn't, but my families REALLY annoying.

Mom says I should have invited you.

I said that I tried and she said no.

She looked guilty and then told me to use this time as bonding time with Melody.

All the other guys brought their girlfriends.

They're all blond, with splotchy highlights and a cake face of orange makeup.

You could beat them in hotness if you wore a paper bag.

Do you remember that time my Aunt Clara came to stay with us?

Well, anyway, she's here and she said she's so glad I'm dating you because (I'm quoting her now) you are such a nice girl, you are very pretty and SO polite. Then she said if only all the other guys were dating someone as nice as you.

Basically, you're the best girlfriend ever. As agreed by Aunt Clara.

Missing you dreadfully,

Zander

* * *

_September 4__th_

Dear Z,

You're the best boyfriend ever to!

My parents came back and my brothers are here to. Its Finns 25th birthday today. Yay.

We had a cake.

That was probably the only good thing that happened.

Now, as I sit and write you this, all four of them are discussing the latest sports scores.

I don't even think they know I'm here.

But, I've had so much free time I wrote a song! I'm enclosing it with this letter :) tell me what you think.

Love always,

Stevie

* * *

_September 5__th_

Dear Stevie,

I love the song! I defiantly think it's one of your best- and tones better than anything I've written. I wrote a few note suggestions for harmonies- I hope that's ok, and I'm putting them with the song and this letter.

I played the 'song with no name' that we wrote together for my family yesterday. They all think it's amazing. And they said you must be very talented to write something like that- which you are.

I've been slowly sizing myself up to the other guys, their girlfriends are all pretty dumb, so whenever they do something stupid I say 'my girlfriend could have done that'- but, you know, not in a bragging way or anything.

So, now everyone knows that you're the best!

Only four more days to go!

Love,

Zander

* * *

_September 8__th_

Gee Steves,

I would have never guessed you'd missed me from the 37 letters you sent me ;)

I miss you to. Being apart is torture. '

I'll be home tomorrow though!

Zander

* * *

_September 22__nd_

Stevie-bevie!

I know your right next to me and all, but you're asleep and I want to write you a letter.

You look very peaceful, what are you dreaming about?

Ok, so I was thinking, when we have a house, and a music room (obviously, we need places to keep all our instruments) you should paint a mural on the walls.

Actually, you should paint a mural on every wall in every room in the house.

Can you paint the outside all pretty to?

And, when we have a house can it have pretty flowers? In the garden, i mean.

Also, we have to have lots of spots for hanging all the awards we win.

And we need a cabinet for all the trophies (cause you know we'll win lots of Emmys and Oscars.)

We should also have a big sign that says 'STEVIE AND ZANDER'S HOUSE!'

Wait, no. We'll be famous by that point. We don't need anyone knowing where we live.

And, then we can invite the others over for dinner and you can dress up in a pretty dress :)

Hey! Tomorrow, why don't we go out and you can wear a pretty dress then to? Or you can wear jeans if you like, just as long as you come :)

Xoxoxox (x1000)

Your one and only true love,

Zander

* * *

_September 23__rd_

Steves,

I just wanna say you looked Ravishing tonight.

Love,

Z

* * *

_September 30__th_

Zander,

Thanks for the best summer ever!

I love you,

Stevie

* * *

_October 1__st_

ZANDER

Halloween month! IM SO EXCITED!

EPPPP!

-S

* * *

_October 7__th_

Hey Steves,

I'm really sorry but can we postpone tonight?

I'll make it up to you! I promise.

Yours forever,

Zander

* * *

_October 7__th_

Sure. I guess. But z- I... Never mind. See you tomorrow.

* * *

_October 8__th_

Kacey said she saw you with Alinta.

* * *

_October 8__th_

She asked me to help her with her music assignment! I wasn't doing anything else Steves.

* * *

_October 8__th_

YOU CANCELLED OUR DATE TO HELP OUT ONE OF YOUR LITTLE FAN GIRLS?

* * *

_October 8__th_

No! I had to pick my sister up from her friend's house. My mom asked me because she had to work late. Alinta asked me to help her in the half an hour I had left in the afternoon!

* * *

_October 8__th_

Oh, sure that's what happened.

* * *

_October 9__th_

Steviekins!

Hey, hey! Wanna come out this afternoon?

Xoxo

Love, Zander

* * *

_October 9__th_

Don't think I've forgiven you. I just don't want Kev and Nelly to know. They take our fights very hard and i don't want to hurt them. Kacey's mad at you to btw.

* * *

_October 9__th_

I know, she's been glaring at me all day. Must you two share everything?

* * *

_October 10__th_

Oh, so now I can't talk to my best friend?

* * *

_October 9__th_

No, Stevie, that's not what I said! I just wish you wouldn't share EVERYTHING with Kacey.

* * *

_October 9__th_

You are showing the first signs of an abusive boyfriend.

* * *

_October 9__th_

I've never even come close to hurting you!

God Stevie! I love you! I'd never hurt you!

* * *

_October 9__th_

Stop sending notes. You're distracting me.

* * *

_October 28__th_

Zander,

I'm writing you this letter in the middle of algebra. I know I should be doing work, but I can't concentrate.

I'm scared Zander, really scared. I don't know what off exactly, maybe I'm scared of myself. Sorry this is so messy, my hands are shaking.

Everything seems really dark lately, like I'm looking in to a swirling void of nothingness- sorry, that sounds weird. But everything just looks dark. It's like I'm slowly losing color, everything that's been in my life up until now has seemed normal, it never really bothered me like it does now. But something slipped Zander, in my brain I guess, something that is sucking every bit of beauty out of my world. I'm so scared that I'll do something stupid, I'm so scared I'll get to comfortable with the darkness.

I know that I've been a total bitch lately, and I wish I could explain why. But I can't. Because I honestly don't know. There's all of this stuff floating around in my head and I can't catch hold of any of it. I can't grasp the reasons, but I know they're there.

And I'm terrified, of everything that's happening. I'm terrified of myself, I'm terrified of what you'll think of me, and I'm terrified of what might happen. I can't stop feeling so out of it, and I don't get why.

I'm sorry if this is all too much for you to take in, and I'm so sorry I've been such a bitch. But I hope that you'll forgive me someday. I'm going to put this note in your locker now, so I won't see your face when you read it. Because I can't see your face when you read this.

I will always love you,

Stevie

* * *

_October 29__th_

Hey Stevie-bevie!

How did talking to your Mom go? Is everything ok?

Love,

Zander

* * *

_October 29__th_

Z,

Mum is fine with everything. Or, at least, that's what I understood. She isn't disowning me at least. She looked at the cuts and said 'don't you ever do that again!' and then kissed my forehead so I guess its ok.

She also said you have ridiculously good taste in rings!

And she told me to tell you that she's thrilled I'm dating you. And that she knew all along.

Mom told me that she didn't know how to talk to me about everything, and she didn't think I wanted to share anything with her. But now I've told her everything so we're going to be more communicative.

Thanks for yesterday afternoon J

Love,

Stevie

* * *

_October 29__th_

Princess,

I'm so glad your Moms ok!

My mom asked if you want to bring your parents over for dinner next week?

Also, did you tell her about …

-Z

* * *

_October 29__th_

Yes.

She told me that if we plan on continuing I have to tell her so she can get me 'the pill'.

* * *

_November 2__nd_

Princess Stephanie,

Oh one whom I love.

Angle of light!

My darling!

I wanted to tell you that you're beautiful.

Love,

Z

* * *

_November 2__nd_

You wrote me an entire love note to tell me I'm beautiful?

Awwww! That's so sweet!

You! Are extremely handsome.

Your adoring girlfriend,

Stevie

* * *

_November 28__th_

Zander,

As today is thanksgiving, I feel it is appropriate to write you this today.

Thank you Z for sticking by me. And not giving up. I really appreciate that.

Thank you for accepting me the way I am and helping me to make myself better.

Thank you for being what I want to live for. Thank you for being my present and my future.

Thank you for believing in me. Believing that I could help myself.

Thank you for not judging me on my family or all the messed up things they do.

Thank you for being the light that led me home.

I love you more than anything, I couldn't live without you and I can't imagine anything better than my life now. You've been so supportive and I can never thankyou enough for that. You make life worth living.

Thank you for being you.

Love

Stevie

* * *

**So, this is it. The very last chapter of Broken Shards. I've put off writing the ending to this for so long because I didn't want to actually 'end' Stevie's story. She still has a lot to learn and so does Zander. But, these notes could go on forever and they wont actually ever finish. Just like this story. **

**To say I'm going to miss writing this is an understatement, but, I've learnt a lot and its time to move on.**

**I hope this is a satisfactory ending for all of you. **

**To the person who helped me finish this (you know who you are) thanks. I love you to bits. **

**HTRobsessed, thanks for waiting patiently :) here's your ending :)**

**I have a few one shots I've almost finished that I'll post soon, and then i think that might be the end of my HTR career. So, stay tuned for the last bits!**

**I'd love to hear your comments on this last chapter! **

**Thanks to everyone who's read this **

**Encantria xxx**


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